Musician Forum - Band Discussion Board - BandMix

Hey
last week I asked how you guys dealt with firing band members and i got some great stories.
you can check the out at:
http://gigdoggy.wordpress.com/2008/10/1 ... -the-band/

Anyways, now i was thinking about asking the flip question: 'How does one quit from his band'.

Answers given are also intented to be posted in a topic on my blog in the week to come. Feel free to share your anecdotes and stories.

Thanks a lot

Gigdoggy

I'll answer a different question than what you asked probably, but to me, it depends on the band.

I think bands are like girlfriends- Some people stay in a relationship when they KNOW that it really won't ever work out, but they stay, just because of familiarity, combined with the ideal that they don't want to be without; or will wait for a better one to come along.

Those are the ones that never end well.

Then there are those who jump ship at the first hint of troubled waters. Can end well, but usually they just end up being the asshole who split when it actually became work instead of 'all fun, all the time'.

There are the other guys who already have drinking or drug issues that will take the issues to the next level when things get stressful, usually tearing the relationship(s) apart in the process.

And then there's the type that sticks with it during troubled times, but realizes after a series of trails and errors, that it just won't work in the end, fulfill their commitments, and then move on.

How many girls do you date before you marry? How many marriages and divorces does the average person have nowadays, before they really find a great match? It's a tough world out there, and to find not just ONE person you can live with, but 3-4 or even more that you can all live with each other is almost mind-bending how little chance we all have to find that great match.

"I'm going in a different direction, musically." - used that one once

"Look, we aren't gigging. I wanna gig. I'm gonna go out on my own & make some bucks for awhile. Call me if & when you're ready to go to work & actually DO something." - used that once

"I'm sorry, but there's just too much going on in my life right now, & I'm not going to do you any good by missing practices & such." - I think I might use that one soon

"Things are so busy for me right now, I just have time to put into this band."

I've used that a few times (most of the time it's true). Unfortunately, I'm more often willing to ride out the storm, or maybe more appropriately, go down with the ship. GLUB GLUB!

I'm sorry guys, this is taking too much time away from fishing. Good luck to you...

lol You know I don't pull any punches..

When i go, I often just don't say much at all.

or the convex

I speak exactly to whom and what is creating the issue and say it.

If it gets stupid, weird, ugly or pathetic, it's over and I act accordingly.

(The fine for smacking band members with a beer mug in NJ is 400$) lol

Capt. Scott wrote:(The fine for smacking band members with a beer mug in NJ is 400$) lol

lol! I would be in trouble if I lived there, damn that's steep.

"You suck. I'm outta here!"

"You guys sound like you need to open a machine shop. I'm no mechanic, so..."

"Sorry, guys, but it looks like I'll be booked solid for the next ten years either playing music or looking for ppl who play music."

"Playing with you ppl has influenced me to move in other directions. I think I'm gonna start a band & play music, now."

"When I played our last practice recording, both my dog & my cat attacked the stereo. This doesn't look good to me."

"Um...this is kind of embarassing, but I've been having these...erotic dreams about the drummer. My wife is kind of pissed that I keep calling out his name in my sleep. I don't think I can work with someone who has this kind of effect on me..."

"Let me tell you about Jesus..."

"Hey, would it okay if I just play polka rhythms on my bass from now on? I REALLY love polka!"

"My spiritual advisor tells me that I need to stop playing the devil's music & play for Allah."

"My allergist has determined that you're music is detrimental to my health."

"I've decided to run for governor, & I think that's just gonna take up too much time."

*At your very next practice, go into an "epileptic seizure" & bite whoever annoys you the most while thrashing around & trashing his equipment "accidently"*

Just be honest. Maybe not to the point of being brutal, but I hate some big story that you know is a load to begin with. I would rather have a guy leave & say, Man yu suck, than to make up a story about family obkigatins, work, helath, etc., only to find out that it was a big load of BS.

I"ve quit bands plenty of times and usually I end up wanting to give an ass whuppen to the singer,ego maniacs that aint sh*t without the band.Usually I tell em off and walk off stage,or out of rehearsal.Now I just play with family cuz you dont have that problem as much.

messy j wrote:Now I just play with family cuz you dont have that problem as much.

Sure. But when your egos collide, it's more than just losing a bandmate.

philbymon wrote:"You suck. I'm outta here!"

"You guys sound like you need to open a machine shop. I'm no mechanic, so..."

"Sorry, guys, but it looks like I'll be booked solid for the next ten years either playing music or looking for ppl who play music."

"Playing with you ppl has influenced me to move in other directions. I think I'm gonna start a band & play music, now."

"When I played our last practice recording, both my dog & my cat attacked the stereo. This doesn't look good to me."

"Um...this is kind of embarassing, but I've been having these...erotic dreams about the drummer. My wife is kind of pissed that I keep calling out his name in my sleep. I don't think I can work with someone who has this kind of effect on me..."

"Let me tell you about Jesus..."

"Hey, would it okay if I just play polka rhythms on my bass from now on? I REALLY love polka!"

"My spiritual advisor tells me that I need to stop playing the devil's music & play for Allah."

"My allergist has determined that you're music is detrimental to my health."

"I've decided to run for governor, & I think that's just gonna take up too much time."

*At your very next practice, go into an "epileptic seizure" & bite whoever annoys you the most while thrashing around & trashing his equipment "accidently"*

HIL.AR.I.OUS.

"I'm sorry, but there's just too much going on in my life right now, & I'm not going to do you any good by missing practices & such." - I think I might use that one soon

Thanks. Makin the call tomorrow.

You guys are like a chainsaw race; you make a lot of noise but you ain't going anywhere...
later!

"I feel I have learned so much from you, but you guys are so far on and my confidence is starting to slip, so this has to be goodbye... and I'm off for a beer next door!"
Mark D Phillips...................

"Im sorry but you guys suck and Im out of here, maybe in a couple of years when you guys learn how to play and want to go out and play in front of people for money we can try again."

The key to bands is finding a group of people on the same page or way of thinking about what they want.

Im fortunate and got back with guys that I had already been thru all the bullshit with. Now we just go out and kick ass.

Some people are destined to be closet players and some are destined to get out and do something, figure out which one you are and find people of the like mind and you shouldnt be worried about quitting.

Realistically, when Ive quit situations Ive just said hey this isnt working for me. Im sorry but its time to move one. I think the older and wiser you get the easier and quicker you can make the decision.

Bands are just a gang of friends that like to hang and spend time together, arent they?