Mike, you are entitled to your opinion, and I respect you for standing by it.
If I came off a little hostile, I apologize. The truth is that I recognize much of Shredd's situation as similar to the events in my own. My best friend, whom I have known since the age of six, is currently going through a divorce after 14 years of marriage and two children. The reasons for the divorce are once again similar to my own as well as Shredd's. This has struck a chord with me, if you excuse the expression.
WHen I said you didn't understand, this is what I was trying to get at:
My ex took every dime I made. I was making $50 grand a year and didn't own a car-mine had died, and we never "had the money to buy a new one". Of course, we always had money when she wanted something or just wanted to go out and blow a wad of cash. She also talked me into seven credit cards, which she pushed to the limit-and then blamed me for it-although I had nothing of my own. We lived in a house that she picked out, against my wishes, and I paid the payments. All the while, she sat on her ass and told me how much more important her job was-although, in reality, she NEVER brought home a paycheck in three years!! On the list of personal needs, I regularly fell behind her herself, her children, her grandmother, her ex husband and her boss! Everyday, I had to take my cell phone everywhere I went, so she knew where I was and what I was doing. GOd help me if I missed her call. I wasn't allowed to handle the finances. I wasn't allowed to make decisions in the very house for which I was paying. The list goes on and on. I worked until three in the morning, and most of the time, she expected me to get up early and take her kids to school, while she laid in bed.
To sum it up, my needs were not important. The only thing that mattered was that she had total control, and I play nice and go along. The was no talking, no rationalization, and no compromise. When I was laid off from my job, and the unemployment ran out, she conveiniently decided that the relationship wasn't working out. So I QUIT, packed up the few possessions that I had retained, and moved back in with my parents (at age 34). I had no dignity, no money, no self worth. In the following months, I realized more and more what a pathetic sucker I had been, and wondered how in the hell I ever let myself be treated like that. Even after the relationship, she kept everything, and I ended up paying off most of the bills. $20,000+ worth. For a guy who had no car, no job, no money. I couldn't even afford a lawyer to sue her ass.
Trust me, Mike, you don't understand. I'm not a quitter, I'm not "damaged goods." However, and I really mean this, I would love to know how I could have fixed that situation (by your own rationale, it's going to happen to me again, right?)