Musician Forum - Band Discussion Board - BandMix

Hello / Goodbye, people.
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Lately I've been busy composing & recording many, many new songs.
I live and breath music; read my profile.
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I joined in, to exhange ideas about music, to encourage others, and to get insights into other people's 'worlds-of-music.'
. . . hasn't been so insightful for me, lately . . .
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I've been here for years now, longer than everyone who posts, (Yeah, yeah, - I know, "So what?") . . . and I've seen the climate change several times.
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Over the years, I've seen months and months of friendly exhanges on all kinds of music-topics.
And, I've seen months of caustic remarks souring everyone's attitudes. Eventually these 'internet bullies' (the as**les) leave, but only after driving away many good people.
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I've seen the board dominated by highly skilled and highly experienced musicians. I've seen this board filled with many excellent female vocalists. Then, the attitude here changed to a climate which many women found unappealing, and now there are only a few female vocalists. . . . mostly newcomers (less than 4 years performing experience).
Seeing as I've been looking for a good replacement female vocalist, I found this disappointing.
(Yeah, and this is the spot where I get insulted, again, for sticking up for a female vocalist who was humiliated off the forum some time back) . . .
. . . whatever . . .
I've seen a few dozen people insulted off the board (hey, who needs that kind of hassle, huh?).
But then new people join . . .
I've seen the board dominated by heavy metal, Jazz, country, rock, hard rock, acoustic guitar, folk, heavy metal again . . .
. . . ebb & flow . . .
Over the years I've seen a lot of faces come and go: good, bad, and indifferent . . ..
I've seen extremely experienced (and highly successful) artists join. But then, many of them often leave within days, never to return . . . nothing for them here, I guess.
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But, there's some nice folks talking on this forum, and some talented musicians . . .
Hell, at a bar, I guess I'd buy many of you guys a beer . . .

But it's been boring here, lately. . . . too much irrelevent talk to interest me enough to stay.
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This is the place where people tell me that on the internet anyone can join in to say whatever they want, that man does not live by bread alone, that I'm boring too, we don't have to talk about just music, we can talk about anything we want, who cares what I think, and that if I don't like it I should just leave. And, 'don't let the door hit you on the way out.'
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Yep, I agree. You're all correct. All the above statements are true.
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I'll check in every so often, but if you address something to me & I don't respond, it's because I'm elsewhere & I didn't 'hear' you. While you're typing, I'm playing. My priorites have changed . . .
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Many of you folks are already my friends on other music sites; I'm on about 2 dozen . . . (spending less time with them, too).

For anyone who's interested, you can reach me at:
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http://www.myspace.com/alanbradleygroup

Going to miss your insight Alan. I appreceate all the help and information youve given me. Good luck with your musical projects and may God Bless You and Yours.
George B. Heil
Guitar for NKF
Kilgore Texas.

Alan,

Sorry to hear this. I've ALWAYS checked out every song you've posted. Clearly I am guilty of engaging in lengthy discourse and debate on social issues, but I also feel (I could be wrong) that I start more threads on musically related topics, than other topics. I can't really apologize for discussing other issues, because to me, music is an expression of life, and all the struggles, dreams, ideas and beliefs that are a part of life. So personally, I don't see how to limit myself to the technical aspects of music, without sometimes discussing what music is written for or at least "about".

I also enjoy sharing what I have learned in life, and learning something different from others. I like having my positions challenged, and changing them when I am proven wrong. I feel I grow through those exchanges, and that others grow also.

As to flamers, I don't think there is anywhere on the internet they won't pop up. People with shallow hearts, seem to enjoy the anonimity of attacking others from behind the safety of a computer monitor.

There was a female singer that I feared left, because of me. Cause she asked for an honest opinion, about whether her voice coach was right about her prospects of becoming a famous singer or getting a record deal, at an advanced age, which for the music industry she was.

I gave her my honest assessment, which has considerable experience in this industry behind it. I was impressed that her vocal coach told her the truth, because someone unscrupulous, would have sold her the "dream" just to insure continued vocal lesson fees.

I didn't see her post much after that, if at all.

But she was not pursuing music as a hobby, she wanted an honest assessment of "making it" in the music business as a career. I told her that her age was a huge problem, and that in all honesty, her talent level was not sufficient to even have a chance to overcome that obstacle. If you are older, and just starting a career in music in your 40's, it is almost a hopeless case, but at the least, you better be damn good at what you do, if you are going to try and pass that barrier. I offered her suggestions of what "was" possible, namely a successful "local" career, where after working on her vocals some more, getting a good band behind her, she could at least develop a strong local following, and therefore continue doing what she loved to do, namely sing, and sing for real people in venues.

I'm not going to lie to people anyway, but certainly not when they are pursuing music as a career. What if she had some charlatan convince her of fame, and bilked her for all she was worth because she believed them? What if she hocked her house or her kids college fund, believing in her prospects, irrationally so, when some huckster promised her a record and distribution deal, if she financed it?

I can't be responsible for trying to spare someone's feelings, when a MUCH greater harm could be done, by not truly helping her, by being frank and honest with her.

My assessment, is that she wanted to hear what SHE wanted to hear, rather than deal in reality, and have a legitimate shot at a small career, as opposed to an impossible goal she would never attain. I feel bad when I think about it, but the alternative to honesty, is usually far worse, than the risk of hurting someone's feelings.

Anyway, so much for my confessional. LOL

You add alot of insight to the boards, and you have given good advice to young up and comers, that I have no doubt has often helped them. I understand you needing the time for your own pursuits, but it's always nice when you can help others along the path as well. I feel you have done that for many here, and I am sad that they won't receive the same benefits in the forseeable future.

You're a good man, and a good musician and writer.

Good luck brother!

I hope it's not because of my insane love of big, juicy, squishy breasts!

Ah, RM, I hardly knew ya...so long & I hope all goes well for ya.

Alen,
When my band gets playin', my surgery gets all healed up, and the weather gets better so I can finish building my new house, I expect to be spendin' less time on the forum myself. None the less, I sure would appreciate ya droppin' in , if ya get the time. I still miss Wegman, for crips sake. I'm sure we'll be bumpin' your topic threads for further discussion from time to time. Keep on creating!
We all love music, but remember, " Its so much less - then what we are."
John

John, Somehow I missed the part about your having to go under the knife. I pray all went well and God's speed in your full recovery.

Hey Allen, I hope you come back to read the farewells-

I kind of like this place- Not nearly as volatile as many other loosely moderated forums, and not as clamped down as the heavily moderated forums. It's a shame to see you just say "goodbye", instead of "farewell for a while - taking a break", you know?

What can I say? Your avatar repulses me haha.

Take care of yourself, I hope you reconsider.

I have always enjoyed Allen's input here, but seriously....this looks like Drama Queen stuff and I'm not about to coddle it.

Thanks, sanshouheil/george. I recorded 2 new songes yesterday, and I'm 1/2 way through a 3rd . . . .
Thanks, Craig - I'll be seeing you on Myspace. And, Re: female vocalist: I wasn't referring to you.
Thanks, philbymon, HowlinJ . . .
Kramerguy, thanks, yeah I did read the farewells.
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Later . . .

wow, if you can't handle the heat in here it's no wonder you can't handle it on stage. seriously.

i really don't have anything against you but... why a post about leaving? little self serving isn't it? almost as if you are wanting people to come out of the woodwork and beg you to stay?

I'd bet ten bucks you'll be back in no time... and I say this because I'd pay ten bucks to have you gone forever.

I say this because you constantly complain about moderation. I think our moderators are wise enough to draw the line. I think they realize that at-all-cost one's right to say whatever - however ugly - should be upheld here of all places... in a forum for/of/about/dedicatedto artwork.
...Even if that persons statement(art) looks like some stupid kid talking about squishy boobs(sorry)... it has artistic value and deserves it's place among what you might consider more serious statements.

I recall the gal craig mentioned... she asked for help and then systematically shot down any suggestions. This is art. People are going to criticize. If you can't take it - you will never make it.

AFA boring... the angry debates are the interesting ones... people are invested... their beliefs are challenged and defended.

I know what I've said here isn't going to win me any popularity contests... but when someone asks me what I think of their music I think "what would I wan't them to tell me? the truth? just patronize me?" If you don't want to know - don't ask.

The fact of the matter is that even celebrity musicians get a beer can thrown at them from time to time. If they are really sucking that night - it's a full one.

Anyone else want to anounce a goodbye?

Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya!

sorry to see you go man ....you are truly a cornerstone to the forum....ill be seeing you on the space then...oh yeah that e-book you wanted was sent out to you today....chat with ya soon...happy jamin'

mistermikev wrote:....

Anyone else want to anounce a goodbye?

Nah, dramatic swan songs aren't for me. If I ever take off, it will be quietly and for good.

...Perhaps I'm just dissapointed that nice (and boring) people like samich drive away all the mean (and interesting) people like davis22.

...not to mention I have a hard time empathizing with people who want to sensor anyone... need I say more? definitely not... but you know I will...
and I have every right to.

First off, if someone is leaving for good, or even for awhile, and especially if it is someone who has been a member here for quite awhile, it is only logical to let everyone know what's up. Otherwise, people leave posts for him, don't hear back, and maybe get the wrong idea.

So, let's nix the part about announcing a goodbye. That is expected, logical and respectful to do.

Now the real issue:

Complaining about flamers.


Why shouldn't he complain? It's pretty sorry behavior to go off on people whose only crime is being too "nice". He has more invested here than most of us. He feels terrible that people who turned out to be really nice, end up getting run off, and he is cheated out of them being a part of this community. Of course he can email them. He knows that. It is not the same as them participating with the entire community, and not having to put up with harrassment to do so.

It's the internet. Yes it is.
People flame everywhere. Yes they do.
Grow some thicker skin. Ok. Then what?

Then we can all be a bunch of unfeeling assholes that can "take it" with no problems? Awesome! That's a grand friggin' world to live in. Almost utopian.

A moderator could help, but that is likely to prevent two people from speaking their minds freely to one another. And if both parties don't mind it, then there is nothing wrong with some heated discourse.

The real solution, is for BandMix to put some code in for an "Ignore" option, and then you don't have to even see, the posts that offend you.

Too bad they haven't done so, because there is NOTHING wrong with Alan feeling the way he does, and there is NOTHING wrong with expressing how he feels.

I would like to see Alan partner up with Dez757 and maybe he could create his own music community, the "People who actually care about music and can be nice about it" community.

Maybe he'll make a fortune and can laugh all the way to the bankl

Until then...

Why prove him right? Maybe his parting words are meant to encourage us to better behavior, to let us realize what we miss, by running off people who may have had alot to add to this community?

When people are trying to teach you something, it is usually cause they are concerned for you. That's certainly a quality worth pissing on.

Or maybe he actually believed he had made real friends here, and was hoping for some sympathy and understanding? Selfish bastard, huh? Actually believing anyone here would actually care how he felt? Thanks for setting him straight.


----- READ THIS BELOW IF NOTHING ELSE -----


About 6 years ago I was hanging out in a sports bar that I was pretty well known at. I knew a guy there, but mostly casually. He let it slip that it was his birthday. I had known that he had just went through a terrible divorce and his wife cleaned him out.

Knowing two things...

1) He is in a sports bar on his birthday - ALONE

2) He can't be feeling good about now, when his wife took him for everything.

Rather than just say "Happy Birthday" and leave it at that. I decided to do a little better. I asked my bartender friend, if he could somehow find a piece of cake, a cupcake, hell, ANYTHING and whether there might be a candle laying around somewhere.

He said he would hook me up.

When he went off to get things set up, I casually went around the bar, secretly, to the many friends I had there, and asked them that when they heard me start singing happy birthday, would they make their way to where I was, and surround this guy, singing with me. They ALL said they would be happy to.

When the cake came out, with the candle on it, I started singing loud, Happy Birthday To You!!... And he was like "Craig, what the f**k man? Are you serious?" and then his mouth just about dropped, when 20 or 30 people started surrounding him and singing also. Some of them he knew, some he didn't know. NONE of them, before I told them, had known it was his birthday.

We sang, we drank some shots to him. People were coming around him all night, wishing him happy birthday. That ONE night at least, to people in that bar, it looked like he had all the friends in the world!

None of this is a big deal.

Until I found this out...

I had went away on business, and came back to the bar a month later maybe. I saw the birthday boy, and said hello to him. Before I could even make small talk with him, he said...

"Craig, what you did. That meant alot."

"It's cool brother, no problem, you're a good guy!"

"No, you don't understand. It meant alot. No one, not even my daughter, NO ONE had thought about me on my birthday. I've been pretty depressed lately, and being alone that night just made it worse. My wife had cleaned me out. Was stopping me from seeing my daughter. I didn't have the money to fight her in court, and a few days before my birthday, I lost my job, cause the company was going under. I was at the bottom that night. All I know, is that I was getting plastered at least one last time, then going home, and who knows? I don't know what I would have done that night. But what you did... it made everything seem not as bad as it was. I didn't feel so alone. It meant alot. I just wanted to thank you for it."


So, once again, I'm sorry for my lack of courtesy in posting my sorry ass "verbose" comments, but I would like to leave anyone listening, with this thought...

You don't know what people are going through.


I could have left it at saying "Happy Birthday" and been on my way, and read something tragic in the paper the next day. But it didn't turn out that way. At least not for him. Not that time.

Being sensitive is NOT a crutch. Sometimes, just sometimes, a little sensitivity toward another human being, may very well mean the difference between life or death for them.

And sadly, sometimes, maybe more than we know, a cruel and demeaning comment, may be the last piece of evidence someone needs to convince themselves that there is nothing in this world, worth sticking around for.

Do you want to mean life for someone? Or death?

It's not an exaggerated question, as hopefully the story above illustrates. Cause in all seriousness. On the wrong night, our words, whether for good, or for harm, can very well become far more powerful, than we ever expected them to be.

So, maybe before trashing someone for being "human", maybe we can consider, that possibly the world could use a little more of humanity, not less.