Musician Forum - Band Discussion Board - BandMix

I just put up one of my newer songs, "Pluto". Take a listen and let me know what you think.

I think it has a fun "be-bop" feel to it.

Can you post the lyrics, I am missing some of them.

Good change up on the break. Liked the scream. LOL

Where are you recording this at?

I'm asking cause the acoustic is weak on the intro, and everywhere you play same ditty. It needs to be miked properly, or there are tricks like doubling the part on a seperate track, or effects may help.

Can you redo your vocals easy?

My main criticism would be that you haven't learned or crafted your own song as perfectly as you should. You are rushing to get the lyrics in, and you don't have to. It takes too much away from an otherwise good song. Either play with the phrasing, or change the lyrics slightly if you have to, so that they flow better and you don't sound rushed.

It's a really cute, "feel-good" song.

Good arrangement too. I like the spacey guitar with effects and space sounds at the end. I think you should put more of the space sound echoing in there with the other sounds. The sound that comes in at 3:32. Put a few mor in there with the other stuff you fade out.

I'd still like to see the lyrics though!

Good job.

You're a good songwriter Joseph. I've listened to all your stuff. You have some really good lyrics.

Good stories.

Ain't no point in my trying to add or detract from Craigs appraisal so just let me say Thanks For Posting that tune I really enjoyed it.

yes i like it...its very "up" sounding...radiofriendly style..
as a piece it works but as craig said i feel the vocals sound a little rushed or non-relaxed..i think your tryin to fit too many words into a short burst of music..not all the time but in parts...

apart from that its a good up beat song that will have toes a tappin...


and i also loved the end...a kind of a bowie "life on mars" ending...sweet.

I know some of you guys have checked Joe's stuff out, but for the rest...

Let me encourage you once again, to check out his stuff one more time. Different Cabernet's in a glass, looks very much the same as one another at a distance, it is in the tasting that it becomes obvious which are the gems and which aren't. Joe is a very skilled songwriter, and his music is very much worth letting slide over the palate.

Start with "To Waste A Cigarette" maybe, and listen to it all the way through, paying attention to the lyrics, to see what I am talking about.

Or maybe "I Told You A Lie" which has plenty of entertaining surprises throughout, and will make you smile at the cleverness of it.

I would be interested afterward to see some guys be able to come back and honestly say "Woah, these songs are really well written, but I kind of skimmed 'em too fast the first time!"

I think that those with an ear for good writing will see what I am talking about, and it will be encouraging for Joe to see some more well-deserved appreciation for his skills.

Joe, all of your songs are well written and recorded, and most of all, inventive! Outstanding work!

The only critique I have isn't even worthy of being called a critique so much as a personal flavor- You seem to shy away from reverb which makes some of the guitar work sound slightly dry. For all I know, that was the intended purpose *shrug*

I noticed on the "to waste a cigarette" song, that the reverb on the drums was PERFECT (during the solo). I rarely ever hear a song, professional or otherwise that I can say had perfect reverb (IMO it's the hardest effect to properly master), and yet, here you are, delivering absolute perfection.

Great stuff!

Wow! Thanks for the high praise, guys! That kind of feedback makes it well worthwhile. Craig, you made some great points-now I'll try to answer them!
As far as the vocals go, you guys are dead on. I am somewhat notorious for writing PAGES of lyrics for each song, and sometimes it becomes difficult to cut them down enough without losing the intended meaning. Still, it's also a major concern to make the vocals sound natural-that's something I'm still working on.
I record at Lone Wolf Studio here in Elkins, WV. Seth Maynard is the owner, engineer and, on most of my stuff (including this song) the lead guitarist. I usually give him a basic idea of what I am going for and we bounce ideas off of each other as far as technique and tone. Joel Franks is the drummer. Both of them are simply incredible, and I am fortunate to have access to their talents.
The issue with the acoustic in this song is one that we have discussed fixing as well (the nice thing about this kind of feedback is that now I know, I'm not the only one hearing it). The problem comes from the fact that I capo A LOT, in this case on the 4th fret. That tends to make it sound pretty small. I plan to remedy that with a double, probably with an alternate tuning or capo position.
As for the lyrics, I'll try to get 'em posted here soon. My fingers are cramped from typing THIS BOOK!
Thanks again, everybody!

Yes Joe, I enjoy listening to your music as well. Keep it up.

Hey Joseph,

I likem ALL !!!, Thats my kinda stuff...Good acoustic gtr EQ, pleasing tone...Yeah , Im having a blast right now puttin piano and B3 in them..I like the chord arr. in your writing...Keep up the good work...


KIDD

Good work . I liked it.

Craig Maxim wrote:I know some of you guys have checked Joe's stuff out, but for the rest...

Let me encourage you once again, to check out his stuff one more time. Different Cabernet's in a glass, looks very much the same as one another at a distance, it is in the tasting that it becomes obvious which are the gems and which aren't. Joe is a very skilled songwriter, and his music is very much worth letting slide over the palate.

Start with "To Waste A Cigarette" maybe, and listen to it all the way through, paying attention to the lyrics, to see what I am talking about.

Or maybe "I Told You A Lie" which has plenty of entertaining surprises throughout, and will make you smile at the cleverness of it.

I would be interested afterward to see some guys be able to come back and honestly say "Woah, these songs are really well written, but I kind of skimmed 'em too fast the first time!"

I think that those with an ear for good writing will see what I am talking about, and it will be encouraging for Joe to see some more well-deserved appreciation for his skills.

your spot on there craig..as soon as i heard joes tunes i asked him to join my new band...we toyed with the idea but the distance is just to great..
apart from that i would work with joe any day.

Very nice indeed...needs reverb

Can you redo your vocals easy?

My main criticism would be that you haven't learned or crafted your own song as perfectly as you should. You are rushing to get the lyrics in, and you don't have to. It takes too much away from an otherwise good song. Either play with the phrasing, or change the lyrics slightly if you have to, so that they flow better and you don't sound rushed


Im in agreement with Craig here. The lyrical ideas are great, they just might need to be refined more to fit the music. The tempo of the lyrics speeds up and slows down a lot for me. Maybe try to be more fluid in your delivery. Great songs and arrangements, they just need a little tweaking.

I did what Craig said and just listened thru to all these songs a couple of times and there are a lot of lyrical twist and turns here. Keep up the writing.

Im curious if you write your lyrics before you come up with a melody? When I do this its hard sometimes for me to fit my lyrics into a song without some major tweaking.

Dont take what Ive said as negative, its meant to be constructive.

I Usually start with a vague lyrical idea. I have most of it (storyline-wise) worked out in my head, and I'll try to come up with a verse. At that point, I begin to approach it from the musical end. That way, the melody starts to develop before I have the entire set of lyrics worked out. It doesn't always work like that for me, though!
Another thing about my newer songs is that, for the most part, they ARE new! I've written a lot of material over the years, but since I began recording as a solo act, most of the material is pretty fresh (rather than going back and recording older material). I don't really know why I do that-it has more to do with the general theme of the set than anything. I don't know if that makes sense...the downside to jumping straight into new material is that I'm probably not as familiar with it as I should be, and so the natural "flow" isn't quite there.
I really do appreciate everyone's input and I thank you very much! I know that my music is only a work in progress, and I can only benefit from different points of view.
A couple people asked about the lack of reverb-is that in reference to the vocals?

Hey Joe,
Some time back , I was visiting' an ol' band mate down along the "Mason Dixon" line, and he mentioned that, in his opinion, there were only two good things ever to come out of West Virginia. Route 64 and route 77. After listening too some of you "Mountain State" folk play, I'm a wonderin' if he might not have been mistaken'!
I enjoyed "Pluto" and will be back to listen to the rest later. I'm seriously considering making a recording of everybody's songs so I can listen on the way to work. I have no specific criticisms of the song 'cept to say "sounds good to me" ...later
Howlin'