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I put a new (to this site) track up in my profile. It's the first track and called dead to me. Give it to me straight!

neanderpaul wrote:I put a new (to this site) track up in my profile. It's the first track and called dead to me. Give it to me straight!

I like it.

I think you're talented bro. I think your best talents are songwriting and arranging. I know some people have said you are a great vocalist, but I wouldn't say that. Your vocals are a little nasaly, somewhat thin, and you go flat a little too much for my taste. What your voice does have is originality and tons of personality, and sometimes that's more important than just being a great vocalist. Most people don't know how to dissect what they are hearing and express it in musical terms. They just know what they like or don't like. Your vocals express.... scratch that, they....ooze personality.

You would be great in musical theater. That's not an insult. Musicals demand multiple talents - acting, singing and dancing. Your style is that of a born performer. I also think you could be successful as a niche artist in your own right. There are tons of niche artists that I personally enjoy very much, but they generally have a cult following because they appeal to a specific group. But they enjoy tremendous success, both artistic and financial. And their followers are tremendously loyal, even rabidly so.

I think you are talented and your work is full of personality and originality. You just need the right vehicle to express it all, and be rewarded for it.

Living in Roanoke is not going to help though.

You need to be somewhere you can knock on doors and bug the right people enough, that they give you your shot.

good job paul...i really like your new song.you have a very original sound and ive also checked out all your other utube stuff and it all works for me.

as for "dead to me" there are one or two things i would have done differently(but thats just me) so here goes..i feel that the drums are a little flat ie straight 4/4 beat(try a break beat maybe it will pump up the energy factor) but im sure when playing live that the drummer could jazz it up a bit more with a few rolls and stabs on the "home" stop starts..(as i said before it reminds me of early queens of the stone age..its a trick ive used before in"punchdrunk" and i love it) but its very easy to fix and the other thing is the guitar solo i just dont think it flows with the rest of the song(that my have been your intension???) i would have gone for a more full on fast type of solo(agin a little josh homme trick) but everthing else sounds fine to me.
i see craig isnt crazy about the vocals but i like em it reminds me of real early "aerosmith" for some reason, as they say "one mans meat is another mans poison" i learned that people will love you for the same reason that other people will hate you and you cant please everyone but you sound like YOU and the only thing worse that sounding bad is sounding like someone else.....

so to close i think you did a good job...keep it up amigo

neanderpaul-- i like "dead to me".

i agree with anthony-- it would benefit with more energy . heavier rhythm guitar, distorted, maybe. the drums are monotonous.

the solo is good, and brief, but i think it should be more aggressive and biting.

i cant really critique the vocals-- most of my favorite vocalists are of the same school, so to speak. so to me, yours are fine. i like the harmony with the backing vocals.

i love "jackson"! did you check out "of lillies and remains"? (i mentioned that in another thread). i like your musical perspective-- sounds like you are willing to experiment , with a tasteful, cautious amount of artsiness, but with the roots in pre-90's punk.

It's great man! Awsesome song! I think your singing is great man.

Id touch up on the following,

I'd switch up the guitar and add a some distortion. I like the twangy sound in there but it should get heavier at times..

The drums.. well I didnt think they were monotonous but could use a little more energy.

The worst part was the solo... it kinda sucks. Sounds like Tom Petty playing a solo... Some distortion would help.

All in all though it's great. I really like your other songs too.

Enjoyable song. But you know (and I have no idea where this came from) I would have put some kind of completely unexpected and hilarious solo in there somewhere, like a real slide-y trombone. Or accordion.

*kills the Weird Al voice in head with a dull butcher knife*

When I said your solo sucks, I didn't mean it in a bad way... it doesnt really suck I should have just said, "could use improvement" or "a different sound"

I just watched "walking alone" that was cool stuff man. It's stuck in my head. Ive been walking around the office whistling it...lol

irish anthony wrote:
i see craig isnt crazy about the vocals

I knew I was going to be misunderstood on that one. LOL

I actually like his vocals alot. They are distinctive, expressive and full of personality. But he is not a "great" vocalist, in the classic sense. I mentioned the difference only for clarity. That said, there are MANY singers of popular music which are not "great" vocalists. Many famous artists make it, not because they are "great" vocalists, but because their voices are distinctive and original. Elvis Costello, Tom Petty, Ric Ocasek, Robert Smith of the Cure, David Bowie, Jim Morrison and the list goes on and on. None of these are "great" vocalists in the classic sense, but they ALL have very distinctive voices which are immediately recognizeable, and quite often, that is a MUCH MORE important quality.

Luther Vandross, Steve Perry, Freddie Mercury, etc...

As popular music goes, those are examples of "great" vocalists. They have pipes that won't quit, they don't sing flat, their vocals are huge and strong, they have tremendous control of their vocal chords, big ranges, etc...

Paul is a "good" singer, not a "great" singer. There is a difference.

What do you mean by "singing flat" ?

Sorry it took me a bit to reply to this, NeanderPaul.

I think the song is good, a bit too thick, like too much bass, needs to be a bit (but not much) sharper. It reminds me of a real song you would hear on the radio, just needs some touching up. The solo does need improvement, needs to be a bit longer. You could easily put a country solo to this, it just has that feel to me.

Keep on rockin'!

Peace out, GuitarAnatomy.

Ok wow! So much input! I really appreciate you guys breaking it down. let me see if I can respond to some things.

Craig Maxim, Your thoughts were well put and I pretty much agree with everything you said. I can only hope on the "flat" bit it's the vocal swoops or ascensions and descensions that don't work for you. I liken it somewhat to Neil Diamond the way he trails off and down his melodies. I do a lot of half step and step ups and downs with the melodies and corresponding harmonies. I think it creates a mood. I guess it's the tension release thing. EVERYTHING in music is to me about the moods expressed in melody, harmony, chord progressions etc. The nasal thing is hard to swallow but I've heard it before. Thanks for the compliments AND the honesty. Especially the "oozes personality" part! You really made your point clear about the not great but distinctive singer when you listed other singers you would put in that category. I do appreciate your input!

Irish nthony,
The beat is very weak in my opinion too. I had borrowed a VERY old drum machine. It looked like late seventies maybe. It was pretty big (maybe 1' x 2') It had a red LED display like old clock radios from the seventies. It was hard to program and I just quickly "crapped out" that beat. I was using a dedicated recording computer that was used for cutting commercials. I was at the radio station where I used to work. I just cut out the breaks on the "home" part. I've gotten the aerosmith comparison before. I'll take that as a great compliment. Thanks for your input!

FastFret,
There actually is a distorted guitar in the song. It's doing the same as the acoustic. I just like a little less than most people. I agree it should increase in parts. And the solo... sucks?!? Doh! You're right.
I'm really a singer/songwriter who just gets the job done as a musician. I'm only confident on the bass. thanks for watching "walking alone" If I can only get a person to one track that is it. Thanks for your input!

Irminsul,
If you only knew how much I sounded like Weird Al combined with ween in the past. I'll post some older weird funny stuff soon. The unexpected used to be my norm. Thanks man.

Guitaranatomy,
I agree with everything you said too. Thanks!

Thanks all for taking the time to listen and review me. This track is actually 5 or 6 years old I'll post more asap.
Rock on everybody!

Neanderman,

Sounds good to me!

Very good songwriting. Seems to me to Have a "Richard Thompson" feel to it.

Thanks HowlinJ. I'll have to check out Richard Thompson.

neanderpaul wrote:
Craig Maxim, Your thoughts were well put and I pretty much agree with everything you said. I can only hope on the "flat" bit it's the vocal swoops or ascensions and descensions that don't work for you.

No, sorry, it's not that. I fully understand and appreciate how slurring up and down to notes adds to it's emotion and even musical attributes. But on some of your stuff, you can hear the note being flat, when you are holding it out, or in a place that clearly, you are just having a little difficulty staying on pitch.

It is certainly not chronic by any means. It comes up occassionally. But as a singer, I cringe when ANY singer goes flat unintentionally, even myself, which of course I do sometimes. It's a pet peave of mine. Don't get hung up on it. You are on pitch most of the time, and your voice is certainly more mature than MANY artists who have been on these boards.

But because you have a good voice, good enough in my opinion, to be worthy of helpful criticism, I gave it to you. Why settle on "good" when you could be "very good"?

But I grew up with one of the best vocalists I know, namely my mother. If you had heard her in her prime, you would have agreed, that she was one of the best vocalists in the country. It's given me a high standard to measure by. If I watch American Idol with others, they will sometimes look at me when a singer is hitting the big part of their song and giving it their all, and the audience is eating it up, but they might catch a cringe on my face, where I look like someone is scratching a blackboard instaed, because they have power and emotion, but they are not quite hitting the note on pitch, and it just stands out like a sore thumb to those that have the ear for it.

Trust me brother, I think you are talented. Multi-talented. You have "something". It's hard to put a finger on one thing, because it is not "one thing" but a combination of things that are coming together on your songs. But for it to be marketable, you will have to find the right vehicle for it. If I knew what it was, I would tell you, but you'll know when the opportunity presents itself. And I hope that it does.

I think you have a greater potential than just friends, weddings and YouTube.

^ Man I'm that guy though. The guy that cringes when notes aren't perfect. Man you gave so many compliments I should be happy but I obsess. I'm a perfectionist. My own worst critic. My mom in church is where I learned to sing and harmonize. Thank you so much for this...

"Trust me brother, I think you are talented. Multi-talented. You have "something". It's hard to put a finger on one thing, because it is not "one thing" but a combination of things that are coming together on your songs. But for it to be marketable, you will have to find the right vehicle for it. If I knew what it was, I would tell you, but you'll know when the opportunity presents itself. And I hope that it does.

I think you have a greater potential than just friends, weddings and YouTube."

America's got talent is tempting to me. I do need that "vehicle" You have to submit a cover song under 2 minutes. I was thinking of submitting a new shorter version of this....

http://youtube.com/watch?v=wxBFoS0huHI

What do you think about America's got talent? And that song choice? I also loop a version of "the lion sleeps tonight." I really appreciate your thoughts and thorough critique. I guess I do know of a couple of spots where the the vocals aren't perfect. The word "trying" at :27 is weak. The high harmony on the word "head" at 3:14 is flat. Anything else Craig? Thanks in advance.