Musician Forum - Band Discussion Board - BandMix

Ok before you shoot me, just read it.

I just was asked to play with a friend of mine. I am wriggling like mad, as I don't really want to do it. She thinks an awful lot of the situation and I think the reverse.

She offered me some money to do it her way. (my 3rd eye is 1/4 open now)

I am not the "do it your way" type. I also resist offers of $ for something I would not fully endorse.

FURTHERMORE, it is my opinion that in certain circumstances that women can be a detriment to what one may or may not be trying to allude to on stage.

Bar owners in particular have said some unflattering things and I'd like to hear more about what regular people think.

Just a quick poll so she can see what I am talking about/verify fears/become re-educated about this.



PS: My other friend just came to a rehearsal and he thinks similarly. (She's lost in the sauce)

What do you think? And do not blast me, use the poll or write intelligibly.

If I knew for sure, then why would I ask the opinion of others?

I take them seriously if they are good I.E. 70's heart, Kim Deal in the pixies, Ella Fitzgerald, Patsy Cline etc etc. However I think that most people do not.

Personally, I don't think that gender really makes a difference. Take for example the comments you have heard from bar owners: If you put a woman on stage, and the house is packed, they'll change their tunes quickly. That $$ is the bottom line there.
As far as a female being a detriment to what you are going for stage-wise, maybe I'm not understanding the situation. You said she asked you to join her. Therefore, it is either A: her project, or B: a group project. In either case, you would seem to be part of something bigger than your personal image (meaning as a support member or as a part of the group). In this case, I'm guessing that-by your statement about not being a "do it your way" kind of musician-you are more concerned about how it looks on you. If that's true, then it's a shame. You're missing out on a learning experience. You have your own style, and that's cool, but you should never let it get in the way of growing and expanding your musical knowledge.

In my opinion, the respect given to female musicians is rather low from the crowds. You got guys who just look at woman like sex objects, and the second they appear on stage it is the only thing on the guys mind. I voted "no they do not get the same respect." It is a sad fact, but true. Heart is one of the best female rock bands ever, but you do not really hear too much about them. Nancy Wilson is probably one of the best guitarist I have ever seen, meanwhile she cannot even get a place in the top 100 on Rollingstones Greatest Guitarist list (By the way, that thing is crooked, Kurt Cobain was good but not enough to be where he was placed!).

I know I would like to have a female lead singer in my band, though I will probably stick to a male because of the music choice. One of my favorite bands is Lacuna Coil, their lead singer (Christina Scabbia) is awesome. I love her vocals. I respect female musicians, but I think there is a certain sect who do not. My own sister hates female rockers, go figure that out.

By the way, if I was offered to be in a band with a female lead singer and I thought she was good enough, I would take the offer and forget about what the crowd thinks.

Peace out, GuitarAnatomy.

Scotty,
I've successfully played in bands with women. I like em!
I once was in an all origional band called "Le Bop" My wife(Cin)on bass,and two other ladys on drums and guitar.Cin says that in her opinion, some male musicians don't take female players seriously.
I've noticed that some "old band mates" resent it when their pals choose to play with "wives or girl friends". I call this "LindaMaCartny Syndrome"
That" ol' sex thing",has been beaten down in another thread,so I won't get into that here.
I will say that if "Chrissie Hynde"asks you to play guitar for her "Run like hell the other way"!

yes it sad but true that many female musicians fail to get the respect they deserve,its a double standard that is rampant in every other aspect of life and music is no different.

it is almost a handycap if there good looking as some people seem to think "she cant play but she has a great rack" type of mentallity and its just wrong,

i used to play with a very good looking girl who played drums,and at every gig/sound check when the drummers get up to sound check and show there worth you could almost cut the air with a knife when this "girl" stepped up to the kit,every drummer in the house is standing there with a stupid "oh bless her" smile on there faces only to be blown away by her drumming skills...i have never seen so many stupid smiles wiped from so many faces so fast..she would put most drummers to shame and i loved it every time she did.

irish anthony wrote:it is almost a handycap if there good looking as some people seem to think "she cant play but she has a great rack" type of mentallity and its just wrong,

Yeah it is wrong. But they could be good musicians, with a good body anyhow. See I am 19, thus immature, I can get away with that statement. Neh, just kidding. If I found a girl that attractive and I was in a band with her, it would probably drive me nuts. I would refrain from asking her out (saying I stood a chance, which with my perfect looks I would ), I would keep the relationship professional and business only. After all the stuff I have read about dating a girl you are in a band with, I have chosen to avoid that at all cost.

P.S. GO FEMALE ROCKERS!

Peace out, GuitarAnatomy.

Maybe at one time people didn't take female rockers seriously but that was a while ago. I personally know lots of female rockers who kick ass; sex is not that much of an issue. Check out www.myspace.com/girlscouthandgrenade or www.myspace.com/redlightchamberchoir. These chicks can sing death metal as good or better than any guy.

I think female musicians are in greater demand today than ever before. Some of them are just mind boggling good. Others - eh - not so good. Just like males.

Personally I prefer to play in acts with at least one female. Otherwise you get the testosterone poisoning thing going on, and I had my fill of that at 18.

I have to say I am not a fan of women in the band.

Else, I like ugly women in the band. (It's a sure sign they can play)

This chick is cool, but I don't play what she plays. I like the idea of her over paying me to do very little, but I feel like I am deceiving her.

Worse yet, I think her skill level is low and her sex appeal is high. (gun to head)

I>E> Welcome to the sexy stage show. (At this juncture, he gets up and goes out into the audience)

Scott,

You cant make statements like this without pictures.

Good Luck

Does the ugliness equals talent rule pertain to men as well? Have you seen my picture? I must be a music God!!
Seriously, if you're not into it, don't take the money. That's just crappy.
By the way, in case you haven't heard it before...sex sells.

joseph6 wrote:Does the ugliness equals talent rule pertain to men as well? Have you seen my picture? I must be a music God!!
Seriously, if you're not into it, don't take the money. That's just crappy.
By the way, in case you haven't heard it before...sex sells.

Lmao! Well, if that is the case then I am the worst guitarist who ever lived, I can not help my perfect looks (Overly arrogant teenager here! ).

I do not know, as I said before, if the girl is hot and in the band with me, I would probably flip out after a while because I would know I cannot ask her out. Well that is life, I guess I have to find a hideous girl to sing.

Irminsul, maybe I can use Brandi, think she sings?

Peace out, GuitarAnatomy.

Brandi will do whatever you want her to do.

For beer.

I saw a smoking 3 piece blues band when I lived in Murfreesboro TN. I normally get bored by the time they start the second song in a blues set. The guitarist was a little guy that used to play for a big league band. His wife was a biggish, stocky, blocky, maybe Fillipino woman. And man she owned that bass. Just tore it up. She was the front man's wife! They shredded for hours. I was blown away. I can't help it. When I see an unattractive woman on the stage I get ready to be schooled musically.