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This happened to me last night (Oct. 27) and I thought I'd share it with y'all.

Last week I got a call from some local screenwriters, who were putting on this huge Halloween Carnival. They wanted someone to play live keyboard at their event, dressed up as the Phantom of the Opera. The music they needed was pipe organ (Bach, Gluck etc) and that "mad caliope" stuff you hear in old horror films and asked me if I wanted the job. I said yeah, and things were set.

So I'm packing for this gig, and I get into one of those "oh, I may need THIS too...." moments and have stuff strewn all over the place. I thought I'd left myself enough time to get there and set up, but when everything was loaded and I was on my way, to my horror the clock showed that I was supposed to START PLAYING in 10 minutes (I was fifteen minutes away from the job site, at least). So I start freaking. I almost never do this and I was cursing myself for such unprofessional behavior. So I get to the gig site, they greet me with smiles even though I'm late, show me my spot and I start setting up at light speed. Half way through the set up, I can't find some chords. I think "ah, they are in my chord bag." I look around. No chord bag. Cold shivers. I run to my van. NO CHORD BAG.

Yup, I had left the damn thing at home.

Since I couldn't do without them, I had no choice but to drive back home and get the bag. I'm sweating bullets and freaking out. I couldn't find my host in the mass of people there, so I slipped out and drove like a bat out of hell back home, grabbed the bag, and started back. By this time I was frikkin 45 minutes late. GAWD! I thought "they are gonna hate my guts or refuse to pay me and I don't blame them". I reach the gig site again, its getting dark but thankfully I brought a clip lamp with me along with the bag. Good idea right? Well I fly out of the van with my bag and the lamp, which unbeknownst to me was trailing its cord and plug. I slam the door, run off and the lamp is yanked out of my hand, crashing on the pavement. I closed the door on the cord. So I go to open the door and it's STUCK. Won't open, won't budge.

I want to scream. I'm late, and now there is a goddamn lamp attached to my broken door, and I can't drive away because the thing will be dragging all the way giving off sparks and I'll surely get pulled over.

I curse, run to the door - push, push lock, unlock, finally I scream like Conan and kick the damn thing open.

Thank God. I go to the other side, thinking now the door is jacked, but it miraculously closes just fine. I run with the bag and lamp, thinking when the hosts see me they are going to fire me.

The host comes over and puts her hand on my shoulder and says "Is everything alright?" I give her that look like "oh if you only KNEW" and say yes....that I'm very sorry for being so late and having so many problems...and she says no worries, just get set up as soon as you can and start playing.

So I do. Set up, start up, we got sound. Good. But when I went to use the sustain pedal, oddly, it worked in REVERSE - meaning to get UNsustained notes I had to hold it down, and when I let it off, it would hold all notes. YEEEESH! So I'm struggling through Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D Minor trying to be mindful of using the pedal in a reverse way. After that tune I get the idea to shut everything down and start it back up to see if this electronic anomoly would set itself right. It did. Pedal now working correctly. Phew.

So at the end of the gig, the host comes up to me and I'm thinking "here it comes, I'm gonna get it now". She smiles and hands me cash and says "I want to give you this before things get too crazy on tear-down. Thank you SOO much for your playing. It was a big hit." I tell her I'm so sorry for all this trouble and starting late, and that I would be happy to half my fee to adjust for the problems. She says "Are you kidding? I threw in $100 extra."

I blinked. After all this crap, she insists on paying me in full PLUS some. On top of that she gave me several referrals. The night turned from a turd, into a rose. But I have NO idea why. I sure would have fired my own ass!

Long story, but all true. Anybody else had one or more of these "gigs from hell"?

Not yet, thank God.
But, Irminusul, doesn't the ending make for a fine coda for the evening?
It kind of helps to put everything intoperspective . . .

Yeah, you're absolutely right. It taught me a lot of things, made me reassess my habits etc. In the end, the nervous blistering I took was all for the good.

I enjoyed that story Irminsul. I am glad it worked out for you.

Irminsul wrote:My Night From Hell...

Wow!

Apparently..."Hell" pays pretty well this time of year. LOL

Thanks Cap'n. Let's just say I pray for NO REPLAY on that one.

Oh I KNOW what that did to your nerves. I bet you'd sacrifice the $, just to forget that entire episode.

It's all good though, alls well that ends well.

gopher wrote:

Irminsul wrote:Thanks Cap'n. Let's just say I pray for NO REPLAY on that one.

To expound on Scott's comment, let me ask you this, knowing that you would only get the base price agreed on (no tip), would you do it again if everything had to happen exactly as it did the first time?

P.S. I'm glad the ending was good.............I was starting to sweat just reading it. Kind of reminded me of the time I put a screwdriver through my left hand, 10 minutes before the first set.

OWWWW!!!!!

But as to your question - as much as I wouldn't like an exact replay of that one, yes, I'd do it all again because I learned some valuable personal stuff from it. In the end that's more important than the fee.

I classify that episode as a "gut grinder" and I detest those shows. Even if they go 100% as planned, Gut Grinders are not fun.

It's like drinking Sulpheric acid and washing it down with Pinesol.

It is an imperfect world, most people are aware of this. So though you were quite upset with the situation, you were probably the only one. I am not saying this was a situation to be simply blown off, far from. I have found in my experience that if you conduct yourself with a dignity, and a proffessional air about you, people are pretty forgiving. Let's face it, I am suprised more doesn't go wrong at concerts when you think of what all is involved. Sometimes even the contigency plan needs a contingency plan.

Since you asked for personal stories I will tell one.

We were doing a Valentines day show for about 1000 people at a really nice club. The club owner was griping at us the whole time before we went on "Don't play to loud", "If you guys suck the crowd will let you know" etc. so needless to say we are on edge. On top of it we didn't get sound a check. So we are setting up and I am getting my rig to together and I am like "Ah... guys, where's my pedal board?". Our bass player says "Oh dude, I am sorry I almost forgot, we used your pedal board to hold the door open and we broke it". I was like you have got to be kidding me. I had a custom built pedal board because at the time I was kicking on and off alot of pedals and I needed them all in certains spots, so I am totally hosed and sweating bullets. I grab a roll of duct tape and tape all my pedals to the floor as best as I can in the spots they normally would be. So the first tune starts which opens with a gothic keyboard intro, and then I am supposed to come in and this is when I stomp on my distortion pedal and then fade in with my volume pedal. So I stomp on my distortion pedal and it and half my pedals disconnect, escape the tape and going sliding across the stage. Without missing a beat, I bypass everything and plug straight into my Marshall and play like that rest of the night using just the volume knob and pickup switch on the guitar. Well this is my debacle. I got off easy. Our bass player later on in the set (yes they let us keep playing) is getting into one of the tunes, he jumps in the air and gets the neck of his bass caught in the ceiling fan which is turning at the revs of roughly a WWII B2 bomber prop. It just about removes the guitar from his grasp, while making the most sickening sound you could possibly imagine. He has a chunck missing out his neck about a 1/2 inch deep or so. I can't help but laugh because I figure we are done any way so who cares. So we finsih the set and suprisingly we go over with the crowd. Thank God for small victories.

So we are packing our stuff, licking our wounds, and just trying to get out with out further embarressment. Great.......here comes the club owner. We figure he is going to make us pay for the ceiling fan. Oh I forget to mention one of the blades did not fair well either, and when I say not well I mean not at all because it broke off and went sailing luckily, behind the stage. So he comes over and says "Well boys, when do you want to come back?" We're like your kidding right? He says "I know you guys had a few problems but the crowd loved you and I want you back. You also didn't get a sound check and I know how hard it was for you guys to play under those conditions. You guys also followed directions and didn't play to loud. Meet me in my office when you are done packing up and we will work out the details". Well we are just floored. We then apologize for the ceiling fan and offer to pay for it. He says "Guys don't worry about it, it was actually pretty funny. I have morons throwing stuff into them on some nights".

So there you have it. Sometimes a disaster is perceived worse then it actually is.

We may not always get "paid" but we do get forgiven.

True dat, when I sat and thought about it. The vast majority of the time I give lots of points for those who at least TRY to help me with a problem I am having with their product or service as opposed to those who just don't give a shite.

What goes around comes around.

There's nothing wrong with a little organizing sometimes. Perhaps a checklist would help. Never really had a gig from hell yet, but one time I had an incident at a gig that was a little hellish. We were playing for a bunch of Hell's Angels one time and between sets I was peeing in the bathroom. A great big Hell's Angel came rushing into the bathroom and pushed my aside WHILE I WAS PEEING. He apologized and said "Sorry Bob I had to go really bad." I'm not one to get into a fight when there's about 25 others that would help out. It wasn't really a problem, at the end of the gig he gave me a courtesy card which I fortuneately never had to use. One other time we were playing a big music festival in Kansas City when we were the first band up. There was a terrible hum which the sound guys couldn't figure out until our set was almost over. Turns out that a great big neon sign was the culprit. Too bad the hundreds of people there thought we sounded like sh*t. (Glad you got paid Irminsul, wasn't such a bad deal after all.) Later...