Musician Forum - Band Discussion Board - BandMix

Whats happened to common politeness ? When you send someone an enquiry it doesn't take 2secs to reply even if its 'Thanks but no Thanks'. No point in putting your profiles up if you have no intention of replying to enquiries.

That's been the case here for years and years.
I've found that (online, in general) - I actually meet 1 out of 12 people I contact.

1/12.

I need to say that I'm not a member of bandmix, so I cannot contact anyone here.
But I've contacted musicians via the internet. . . . perhaps 200 people or so, over the years.

Estimating, I'd guess that 8/10 of the people actually replied to me.
Of those folks, more than half were discounted immediately, and almost due to our different styles of music.
Some of those folks were just too far away.
I started a dialogue with the remain musicians/singers.
Of those, about 75% wanted to talk and talk and talk - but not meet. I think they were newbies, just learning what it takes to be in a band. I spent more time on the keyboard, instead of the fretboard!
It's fastest to meet right away: say either 'yes,' or 'no.'
I actually met - and played with - perhaps 25-30 guys and girls over the years, through the internet.
There were 2 - 3 who just had the wrong personality for a band.
A dozen of the guitarist - men & women - didn't have enough experience to play what I wanted to play.
We have to MEET people, to find them. That means we have to go where they are performing or looking for bandmates.
All the folks I wound-up performing in public with - I'd met through friends or open mikes.
You have to be in a network of connected people.

Here on BM, the person may have set their profile for 'no email notices', or they may have used an email address they no longer check. Always check the 'last active' time - anything more than 2 weeks, don't bother.

But in general you will find that half the musicians you encounter in life are rude, have no sense of common decency and are completely self-centered. But of course, that applies to 50% of the world, musician or not!

GuitarMikeB wrote: Always check the 'last active' time - anything more than 2 weeks, don't bother.

But in general you will find that half the musicians you encounter in life are rude, have no sense of common decency and are completely self-centered. But of course, that applies to 50% of the world, musician or not!

I've found less rudeness, etc than Mike.
As a whole 90% of the musicians I've met (several hundred) are actually pretty nice people.
Funny thing - treat everyone with respect, and you'll encounter more nice people, in life.

I've only played with perhaps 60 - 70 different people, and of those folks, I only found a few I didn't like.

Part of this is WHERE I chose to play - parties, coffee houses, Art shows, restaurants, churches, farmers markets, a performing arts center . . .
I've met some really nice folks at these places . . .
Notice what is NOT on my list of places i ckoose to play?
Not countinf the ocassional open mike: NO BARS.

It should be noted however, that many of us have in fact, met good players and put situations together from people we contacted here. It just takes patience and like Mike said, many are dorks. Many...but not all!

Good luck, and keep plugging away
Talbot

I believe the reason is mainly lack of professionalism, and not knowing what it is. It's very easy to sign up on a site like this, throw up a selfie, and call yourself an "expert" musician, when in fact nothing could be further from the truth. "But I sing in the shower every day and my friends and family always tell me how awesome I am!" Reality check for the 99% of "experts" on here: You'll never be "successful" in music walking around in this delusional state. You need to work very hard, don't burn bridges, act in a professional manner, and drop the entitlement attitude of expecting everything to be handed to you on a silver platter.

Not getting a reply from anyone on this site is a 100% guarantee that these "experts" are the last people you want to do this thing with called work with. Yes, music requires work, too.

Hey Dom / Aural Experience. we've peeped each other's profiles over the years. i'm in PHX. now we can talk without paying Bandmix for the opportunity.

Hmm, so far on Bandmix, I appear to be 1:190-ish for finding people to work with now. Of course, if I wanted to do a classic rock cover band, I'd probably be set already.

I'm glad i never came here to field a team (seek bandmates).

and by that, I'm not saying anything negative about the folks here. Or their talents and skills. It has more to due w geography and well, the recommendations/alerts that I get from BM ... "You might be interested in A New Musician in your Area". No, not so much so. I'm sure 17 yr old Donny Deathskull crushes goth speed metal, but nah, not what i'm looking for CURRENTLY.

I've always been here for the music talk, sharing my music, checking other's out, and of course...the pithy observations and psycho analysis Ancient Vegan chooses to generously lavish on me.

( psycho analysis....see what i did there? )

Planetguy wrote:I'm glad i never came here to field a team (seek bandmates).

and by that, I'm not saying anything negative about the folks here. Or their talents and skills. It has more to due w geography and well, the recommendations/alerts that I get from BM ... "You might be interested in A New Musician in your Area". No, not so much so. I'm sure 17 yr old Donny Deathskull crushes goth speed metal, but nah, not what i'm looking for CURRENTLY.

I've always been here for the music talk, sharing my music, checking other's out, and of course...the pithy observations and psycho analysis Ancient Vegan chooses to generously lavish on me.

( psycho analysis....see what i did there? )

You can change your settings so you don't get those BM email notices, you know!

Yes. I do know that.

But if i did that, how will I ever know when John Scofield moves to MidMO and is looking for a bassplayer?

I love how the 12 new musicians near Phoenix are followed by your reccomendations which are even more ridiculous matches for my criteria.

I found (they actually found me) a great keys player and bass player here and we gigged for many years together. I don't lose sleep over someone failing to reply here. If they want to gig with a good local band they will figure it out. If not, no worries.

We are still looking for a solid sub drummer for Fri night gigs. We typically play 1-2 Fridays/mo and our current drummer is often unavailable. Hoping to fill this spot soon.

No analysis here, Pg, I'm just a lowly practicing musician, at home.

Not big time like you, playing the truckstop, and the wineries.

Have you ever drank MO wine?

I can't help it you come off as full of sh*t to me.

Ancient Vegan wrote:No analysis here, Pg, I'm just a lowly practicing musician, at home.

Not big time like you, playing the truckstop, and the wineries.

Have you ever drank MO wine?

I can't help it you come off as full of sh*t to me.

And i can't help it if your hateful, semi literate hillbilly opinions mean next to nothing me.

Confused as you are about most things, you forgot to mention how I'm also always blowing my horn about my BIG TIME Farmer's Mkt gigs where we play for produce! Yeah, c'mon....are YOU the only chucklehead here who DOESN'T recognize how BIG TIME that is?????

you drink MO wine?.....i thought hateful semi literate hillbillys only drink shine!!!!*






* i can't help it if you come off as a hateful semi literate hillbilly to me.