Musician Forum - Band Discussion Board - BandMix

so, i just heard from a nudist group who are interested in having PLANET JAZZ perform. i haven't gotten back to them yet so i don't know for sure if they want us to perform au natural or not. i'm having a lot of trouble getting my mind my mind around loading in and setting up while in the nude......let alone performing that way if need be.

while playing guitar i can always sling a big archtop kinda low but i'm trying to imagine what playing vibes would be like. there's a move i do where i play a roll on one the bars and then lean into it to sort of mute it......that might not be too much fun without pants on!

then, there's the bit of seeing my fellow bandmates performing in the buff...don't know that's something i could ever come back from. we'll see what this gig pays and what it's requirements involve.

so...what's the weirdest gig you've been invited to play?

It was the gig I didn't play.

I used to play bass occasionally with an interesting cat named Taylor - sort of a Lew Reed type who played guitar and keys. He disappeared for about a year.

He'd gotten lost on a bike trip through central America and lived most of that year with some exotic tribe in a jungle somewhere. A tribe that didn't wear clothes.

He called me up - we jammed a few times. His sh*t was still hot - I give him that - very creative. But he insisted on playing in the nude - and usually wore only a sack when decency required it.

Well I'm as easygoing as the next guy but when he started talking about getting some gigs I had to pass...

Talbot

It's gotta be clothing optional for you (the band)! Are you kidding me? These folks know that their lifestyle forces them to the fringes of society, not to mention civilization. Therefore, one would think, they could handle that you guys wouldn't necessarily play in the buff.

Planet Guy … having lived in Northern CA for quite some time, I can tell you that there often were "parties" I was invited to attend where most were nude … even the bands, But … Schmed is correct i think and I know that nudity was always optional not only for the band but also the guests. Sometimes I would and sometimes I would not.

Julius Caeser wrote in his Commentaries about how his Legions had difficulty effectively fighting the Celts and Scots who preferred to fight in the nude.

Weirdest gig … for me, it had to be way back in the early 70s in St. Johns, NewFoundland. My band was playing in several of the clubs there as it was a major International Port. One club had a Restaurant on the ground floor, a NightClub on the 1st Floor and a Strip Joint on the top.

The Strippers would come down and watch us on their breaks and visa-versa. I lost my "virginity" there but that is another story. One night we were playing and a Russian Ship was in so there were many Russian Sailors who came in and man could those guys drink and dance … they were absolute maniacs on both counts.

They were just getting going when the place was closing down. They liked our Band and invited us to come onto their ship and continue playing and drinking. One spoke a bit of German so I could communicate. We all thought what the Hell and off we went. They had a large Mess and put some long tables together for our stage. We resumed and were very pleased to discover that Russian Ships had Russian women on them.

There was a bit of nudity, topless and such and we were served excellent raw fish and soup and bread on breaks. Wild dancing and drinking continued as we played into the morning hours. We were all extremely loaded and in that comfortable state of "who cares".

Just before dawn there was a loudspeaker blaring from the shore. It was the Newfoundland Constabulary who informed us all that we were in violation as the ship was "RussianTerritory" and we were to come ashore and get arrested. The Russians did not give a you know what and so we kept playing. After several warnings the Police tried to Board the ship but were repelled by the mob of Russians throwing bottles and rocks of all things. To this day I know not where so many rocks came from on a ship. Perhaps ballast for trim.

The Police called up reinforcements and renewed their assault. Today we most probably would be shot and killed. But at that time the NewFoundland Constabulary was the only Province Force in all of Canada that were not allowed to carry firearms as it seems they used to but had shot far too many and so the result was they had their guns taken away for a time.

But … they had Billy Clubs and smashed their way onboard and entered the Mess swinging. They wanted us but the Russians were putting up an excellent fight despite being outnumbered and drunk as wolverines. Even the Russian women were fighting. I will never forget it.

Philip the Guitarist was standing next to me when an "Officer" saw his guitar and decided to smash it with his club. I grabbed a stool and hit the poor sod right on his head very hard and knocked him out. As the melee raged around us we just stood there looking at one another for a few ticks and …

…one of those utterly mad thoughts came into my head, you know the ones that come from nowhere and later when you relate them everyone thinks you were mad as a Hatter. I rather liked the tunics they wore, almost black with silver metal buttons, embroidered epaulettes and high collar. So I took it off him as Philip looked on. The Russians put us all on a launch on the opposite side of the ship and believe it or not we all escaped with a few bloody lips and black eyes as we "resisted" arrest.

We were camping in a cave right under the nose of Signal Tower … where Marconi sent the first TransAtlantic signal. It was dense bush and only the Fishermen who lived in the "Batterie" knew we lived there and they most certainly would not tell the coppers. We laid low for a few days. The Russians took our amps and equipment back to the club and even gave us a "Care" package with some food and drink in it. They sailed a few days later.

I never wore the jacket about there and the Police never pressed it. But when I returned to Toronto I wore it and it was a big hit. I related the storie many times and it was always well received. I think part of it was that the "Newfies" as they were called by the rest of Canada were regarded as the Pollocks in the US or the Belgians in Europe. Fond Memories.

Live Well Die Well

What better story than one with girls, lots of alcohol, some Russians and a brawl with the police! Sometimes I think the police don't love us... Great story!

Whew...

We had one kind of like that in FL - a guy who was selling black beauties in the bathroom of the club we were playing (New Years Eve!) apparently had indulged in his own meds and was breaking windshields in the parking lot with a base ball bat.
Meantime we're blasting out 'summertime blues' and I'm dancing with the crowd - great gig up until that magic moment.
Our agent told us, "Pack up and split!" I told the boys to grab the gear and I'd grab the buffet! I was darned if I was going play my ass off and not get to eat! We at least got out before the cops hit the place.

btw Stephan - I'm working on a side project you might want to consider for yourself- a book of anecdotes of the last half century. Like me you seemed to have turned up in interesting places / Times. i believe all of history to be moments in time.

My work so for has no political or social intent other than documenting the strange sh*t I've seen - some of it funny, some not - but something must exist to prove that our existence was not just one war to the next.

Talbot

talbot, vamp...those are great stories!

schmed....i haven't gotten back w them yet, but i plan on following up to learn more. thinking about it....i have to say that should all other things line up (good pay day, calendar alignment, etc), i really wouldn't have a problem performing nekkid. i've always been comfy in my own skin so to speak, and after a song or two when the initial novelty/weirdness wore off (or lessened) i think i could get past it and not let it affect my performance.

in the "plus dept.", if i left my A game home and instead stunk it up.....well, i'd have a pretty good excuse.

A benefit for a drummer w/cancer in a Country Bar:
10 country bands - 1 classic rock cover band (my guitarists Dad's band) - my punk band.
The owner ran onto the stage yelling "you're gonna have to turn down"
I replied "we haven't even turned up yet honey. we're just tuning up"
After tuning, we "turned up"
Half the crowd was stunned showing twisted and confused faces.
The other half loved us and took to the floor dancing. I'd say the average age on the floor was 55-70
Our biggest fan was a man that had to be 90.
Was a fascinating and wonderful gig.