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Hello to everybody,
I’m Bruna from Italy and I’m not speak English very well, sorry! My true passion is the writing, I write some lyrics (only word) with these titles: "I'm only a man", "Lost in my memory", The war is not over", "Grey spring" and "My cold september". I need your help! I would want someone to help me to correct these lyrics. I am to the desperate search of musicians or singers that help me to realize into music my lyrics, but before my lyrics must be correct.
I hope to learn better English!
Cheers

Bruna Digregorio

I'M ONLY A MAN

Weeping of my mother
on the stones,
the shot dust
under my skin,
I can't stop the tears
raining down.

Only a man
as the bullets
continue to hold me,
only a man
as the war
holds the lost eyes of my son,
only a man
as the tears of a child
pour throught my heart.

Praying with my hands
lifted to the sky
knowing that when I kill you
both of us die.

Only a man
as the bullets
continue to hold you,
only a man
as the war
holds the lost eyes of your son,
only a man
as the tears of a child
pour throught your heart.

Only a man
I'm only a man
only a man...


Thank you!

Looking to see what someone can come up with on this! MOst of the segments are an odd number of lines, as written, which gives a very unstable 'feel' to them.

I just did that for a pal of man. Put his lyrics in a format that could work. Hope this works out for you Bruna - it looks good to me.

Remember the songwriter's mantra, "If I can't put music to it - it ain't a song! It's a poem!"

Talbot

MikeTalbot wrote:Remember the songwriter's mantra, "If I can't put music to it - it ain't a song! It's a poem!"

Talbot

Good quote!

Thanks to all, my true problem is that I'm in difficulty with the rhymes in English, in Italian this doesn't happen, I succeed in writing very better. I will try to improve my lyrics, thanks to all for suggestions
Smack, smack. smack

Bruna

It doesn't always have to rhyme! The meter must be right however. You can stuff eight pounds of lyrics in a five pound measure as long you have the meter correct.

You might check out Lacuna Coil - Italian symphonic metal band. Very creative lyrically and perform and record in English.

Talbot