Musician Forum - Band Discussion Board - BandMix

Well, f*ck you!

Ok, whole story, you tell me if its me - or him with the attitude problem.

Met this guy at an open mic a month or two ago. He was hosting an open mic (place I had not been) and heard he had split up with his music partner. Seemed ok, but maybe a little stuck up about how others were playing.
I friended him on FB and told him that if he was lookng for an aocustic partner, consder me. He said he was 'all set' - I know he had gigs, and he had a bass player come in at times, along with the bass player's wife(?) on vocals.
So I see him start a profile herelooking for an acoustic partner. Sent him a message on FB - no reply.
He was hosting an open mic this past Wednesday that I had planned on going to, but the snowstorm here meant that by the time I finished shoveling, I was too tired and it was too late to get there. So I posted on his FB Open Mic thread:
"Rats, wanted to make it to this OM. Did I mention:" then a link to the song video I had posted on FB (not my youtube channel or reverbnation page) of a song I wrote/demoed last week called 'Winter Sucks'.
Yesterday he deleted my comment and sends me a message saying "I don't allow people to promote their stuff on my threads". I replied "Hardly promotion, whatever." He replied "Attitude?" I thought of replying snidely about not responding to my message about a partner (talk about attitude!) but chose not to and just unfriended him on FB. As my wife said last night, 'I guess he's not interested in partnering' - fine, but at least a polite reply, of 'thanks but no thanks' would be the right thing, no?

It is kind of in bad taste to promote yourself on someone else's site but you were trying to get together with him, not just spew all over someone completely unknown.

I think he's mad for some reason and it would seem that he's going to be a little baby about it. (plenty of that going around)

Do what you what you always do, brush it off like rain off of the roof and move on. He's probably not worth it anyway.

GuitarMikeB wrote: fine, but at least a polite reply, of 'thanks but no thanks' would be the right thing, no?

realist expectations, REALISTIC expectations, mike...THAT'S what you need.

these days if you don't have what someone wants, can use, or thinks they need.....why should they waste a precious two minutes out of their busy lives????

sounds like you were fortunate to learn upfront this guy might be a major tool, and you can count yourself lucky not to have wasted more of your time w him.


i believe in taking advantage of "teaching moments" when they arise so there's been a few times when after i've taken the time to reply to someone's ad and i've heard nothing back... and then resent my original reply (in case it didn't go thru or got lost in the shuffle)...STILL nothing back....where i've sent them a note saying....

"i guess you've decided we're not a good fit. still, it would be nice for you to take a moment to respond to a fellow musician who's taken the time to reply to YOUR ad."

other times in more of a pissy mood i've said...

" It would appear you're too busy to respond to my reply to YOUR ad. It sure is great being part of the musical community, ain't it? The common courtesy, respect, helping one another out, teamwork....."

Scott - it wasn't his SITE, just his OM listing on FB, and I had planned on doing that song there, too.

Mark - your dripping-with sarcasm replies would probably go right OVER the heads of those you sent them to. Seems to be the case these days.

Thanks for the quick replies, guys. Think I will be staying away from his future OMs, of course.

One has to be able to "test the waters" but you don't wanna take a dip in a volcanic pool cause that stuff will cook you faster than you than you know.

"It's always a crap shoot".

Just do the best you can and no one can fault you.

Talking with the other musicians yesterday after the cable tv session, its refreshing that some people are so pleasant and nice, yet we did mention people who have 'real issues' with others. Like one guy who can't stand another performer at some of the open mics - just leave the room for her 10 minutes, then, right? Evidently he won't go to an open mic if she is going to be there - WTF? And others (no names, just look above ...) who cut down others because of how they play a song.

I don't know about "attitude", but he definitely displayed an ego issue.

Sharing music no mater the intention is now self promotion ? . . . interesting.

Dude has issues.

That is all.

He did you a favor by displaying his dickwadness early and often. Ignore and move on. You can't teach these guys to be a better person cause they didn't sign up for the class and are not open to the lesson.

Thejohnny7band wrote:He did you a favor by displaying his dickwadness early and often. Ignore and move on. You can't teach these guys to be a better person cause they didn't sign up for the class and are not open to the lesson.

Indeed

Too right! Guessing that similar things made his previous partner split.

Good Riddance, lately Ive been playing a lot more and many people that I have invited to come play just dont show up, if this happens once then Im done and dont think anything about it, just the way people are wired these days.

Just keep on looking and be glad you didnt get too involved with this person.

This same guy showed up about 2 hours into last night's open mic (hosted by someone else). He saw me (I was standing with some other guys) but never acknowledged me or said anything to me in the next 45 minutes. He also didn't say anything to the guy he was picking part last time (who is a really nice guy). F*ck 'em.

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Like you said Mike F'EM!! Maybe he thinks he chits platinum tunes!

Be careful if you get an early 20 something musician(s). The new generation won't help with the band, save for breaking it up. I think I've just about seen the worst of them. As for CL: looking for musicians on that trap is a nightmare. The veterans that would be good are most likely already set up with another band or just don't want to do it anymore...etc.