Musician Forum - Band Discussion Board - BandMix

You have to do everything and there's no loyalty to you, that nobody gives a crap...

Yep,

The truth is that we either attract people or repel people and it is entirely up to us which one we choose. Humbling and empowering at the same time.

I played with a guy last year that was completely inflexible and had no consideration for his band mates wishes and concerns. After all it is "his band" he wonders why musicians have a nonchalant attitude towards the band and don't stick around. I am not saying that is the case here. Just offering a different perspective. I was hired as a backup guitarist that played when his regular guy wasn't there. I wound up playing as many gigs as the regular. This guy would do stuff like play every song way to fast. People would complain they couldn't hear my guitar. I started micing my amp and he would turn it down in the mains. I would offer vocal harmonies and he turned my voice down, also he quit bringing monitors to the gig. The guy was confined to a wheelchair and we set up everything, the drummer and I. It's not like we weren't willing. The guy just wanted everything to go his way. I couldn't take it anymore and pulled out!

Some people are selfish, plain fact.

Bob, I used to do everything in the band, and still do a lot, but the other guys are starting to kick in with bookings, promotion and producing. The next Farleys CD will be produced by the whole band, not just me.

Yeah, a lot of the time. I've always thought if you're in a band it's a group effort. Everyone helps load in and out, everyone makes it to practice, after all everyone wants to get paid...so everyone should do their part.

Unfortunately not everyone thinks that way. I was in a band in Louisiana with a keyboard player wh0o was an alcoholic. at first I would bring a little small something to light up on the way home, I never do anything onstage, but when he found out he was right there first thing when I pulled in trying to bum it from me, even though he knew I only brought a very small amount for me. I finally quit bringing anything...

Anyway I digress...the same guy never touched a thing. Bass player and I would haul all the equipment in, including his, set up the PA and our own rigs, load it all up at 2AM and he'd never touch a thing. After 2 or 3 gigs of this I got in the trailer before a gig unloading, bass player was carting everything inside while I set it out for him, I told the keyboard player to grab his amp. He was leaning up beside the door doing nothing and ignored me. I grabbed a PA speaker and hauled it to the back door of the trailer, there's his amp still in the way. I yelled at him to get his &^%$##%&* amp out of my &%$^&^ way...he did but that's the only time he ever touched anything. I finally told the bass player (and band leader) I was tired of doing his work and mine, either he could tell him to help or give me his pay. Neither happened, I didn't last much longer...

With the guys I'm working with now, I already know it won't be a problem. When I show up at practice, they always go out and help me bring in my stuff, even thought it's only 2 guitars, Fender Champ, small wire bag and a couple of stands, and I tell them every time that's ok I can get it...it's only 2 trips...it's the same when we did gigs years ago, everyone helped load and unload. Only one guy was doing bookings, but that's the only thing, everyone pitched in on everything else.

And that's the way it should be...I won't stick around in a one sided gig where I work my ass off and someone else stands around doing nothing and wants the same pay I get...if I'm just a hired gun, OK, I'll load my stuff, do my job and go home. But if I'm supposed to be a full band member, I do my part, I expect you to do the same.

We did a gig this weekend .... about 50 miles from where we normally gig ... the other guitar guy who does our sound had to rent a trailer ( it was a nightmare with the rental too ) and load up the PA and get it set up ....yeah the band helped and all that but I gave him my share of the gig money cause he was busting his ass to make us sound good ....
I am glad I dont " run ' the band anymore ... it can def be a thankless job ...
Me just want to show up and play anymore ....

Hey dg I think that goes for most us! Just show up, plug in and jam. And afterwards, throw the guitar in the car and go home. I can dream right?

I never had a problem because a lot of the time I was a "gun for hire" sort of lead guitar picker when I wasn't playing a full time gig with my main band.

I always drove the band I was in at the time because I am a rather aggressive picker when playing a live gig. I usually supplied the energy so I never had any complaints. Regardless some gigs weren't something I would hire on for a second time.

I also had a friend that was a drummer who would play with the very worst musicians around. He always had the most positive attitude and played his very best no matter what the circumstances. Jerry would play with musicians that I could not imaging having to work with. He would spend his days practicing and play at nights. He made everybody sound good and he always had the attitude that he was playing with the best.

Jerry ended up as a Nashville session drummer and he worked with a lot of lead pickers that were my guitar heroes. Jerry showed me through example that attitude is what will get you through when you get stuck with musicians that can't perform up to your standards. You go to the gig, do your best, and don't get caught up in the skirmishes and squabbles, you get paid, you go home, and you don't look back.

http://www.discogs.com/artist/Jerry+Kroon

Bob, yeah there are times when I feel like nobody gives a crap, but lately Ive been having some issues, and I have had a lot of people reaching out to me, if you are on here, you know who you are.

Really restores my faith in people in general.

Short answer yes.

But it fades . . . I have some awesome support.
I just don't realize it all the time because I'm selfish that way.

I hear ya, Bob. And now I see the dangers of three pieces. I tried joining in conversations last night and got interrupted by these guys. Helped them with their equipment, bought beer, and at the end of the night I was still rolling up cords at 1:30am by myself. A little earlier I could tell they noticed something, cause I won't talk if I can't, and I don't waste my time on telling people how to have manners...and how do you not notice that you're being an ass? Anyways, if its honest, then maybe its good for someone who doesen't give two shits about me to acknowledge me.

In truth, I'm convenient and useful. Not appreciated too much, and probably not liked. But you gotta do it for the love of music. Just crawl inside your soul.

I wish bands were like family. I can wish...

Kruliosis wrote:I hear ya, Bob. And now I see the dangers of three pieces. I tried joining in conversations last night and got interrupted by these guys. Helped them with their equipment, bought beer, and at the end of the night I was still rolling up cords at 1:30am by myself. A little earlier I could tell they noticed something, cause I won't talk if I can't, and I don't waste my time on telling people how to have manners...and how do you not notice that you're being an ass? Anyways, if its honest, then maybe its good for someone who doesen't give two shits about me to acknowledge me.

In truth, I'm convenient and useful. Not appreciated too much, and probably not liked. But you gotta do it for the love of music. Just crawl inside your soul.

I wish bands were like family. I can wish...

Some are . . . and just as dysfunctional I'm here to tell ya.
You and I would likely trip over each other putting stuff up . . . quietly.

I'm actually pretty benevolent and humble. I just think giving and taking should always go hand in hand...not just when it suits someone.

Quietly? That sounds boring. A good joke and some chatter about the practice highlights are always a good way to end the night...and discuss the next level.

I can tell you I know there's people out there that I would dread to be stuck with. I'll just have to take some bumps. I just hate that weird feeling being a third wheel, cause three isn't a big crowd. Friends? Would be cool. Respect? Has to be given, but if its fake...then no.

This is the thing that gets me through a lot(music). So sacrifice is the word of the day.