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Ready for your critiques and suggestions.

'What About the Children' - a song that practically wrote itself after the Newtown shootings. Nothing to do with gun control/freedom. Thanks to Tammy for help with one of the lines in the chorus!

'Pay It Forward' - I wrote the lyrics on this one a year ago, put the chords to it (on guitar), but never was happy with it. The uke as lead instrument gives it a different light feel.

Mike I like What About The Children, when you start singing I get this Bob Dylan thing in my head til the chorus.

One thing that for me doesnt fit is your lead guitar line, I just in my head hear a slide type solo for those little fills, dont know if you do slide, but maybe if you get a chance try it on your own and see if it fits. Not being negative saying that, it just felt like it should be slide to me.

I think the tone of your rythym guitar fits the song perfectly, I dont think if I were to do it, I would change that at all.

When I listen to peoples music, I always think in my head, what would I do with this song, so thats kinda where Im coming from.

Good Tune

Im not as fond of Pay It Forward, theres nothing wrong with it, it just didnt stick in my head as well, do you have a mandolin? I was curious what a mandolin would sound like on that song instead of the uke.

Good Job, Im jealous, need to get busy with my recorder

Thanks for sharing

Mike i really like Dark Street on your player, hadnt listened to it before.

Love the instrumentation on that one, kind of sticks in your head, is that an oboe in there? I love that sound.

I get a faint Bruce S vibe from that one, all it would need is a little more emotional vocal treatment.

Great Song!

I enjoyed all three . . . I'm really not the one to critique another's work.
I will say I had some slight difficulty making out the lyrical content on WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN . . .

Thanks for the comments.

John - the lead part on 'Children' - I tried first with my Tele, didnt like the single-coil sound on the lead, sounded too thin, so went with the extra over-driven humbucker sound (same amp settings). I've got a slide, but not sure I could play the part well with it. Bob Dylan sound? I do have some raspiness left in my throat from the cold/flu thing I had for weeks. Hope I don't end up sounding like Dylan does now in another 10+ years!
'Pay It' - I've got a mando, but seriously out of practice with it, and its cheap (cheaper than my uke!) and the sound is not very full. My wife got it for me a few years ago, not knowing what she was doing, she went for the cheapest one she could find at Musician's Friend.

Dark Street - that's a 'cello' sound (on my keyboard)!

When I mentioned slide it was because i just heard it in m head before the guitar kicked in, I dont know maybe a muddier sounding guitar would be better, I cant put my finger on it, but the tone to my ears doesnt match the song, no biggie, its your song.

Cello, my daughter has a keyboard at the house I should see what I can do with tones like that, I always like a string wash on slower more ballady material.

Dont take anything I said negative, Im just trying to be honest in what I hear, good job.

jw123 wrote:When I mentioned slide it was because i just heard it in m head before the guitar kicked in, I dont know maybe a muddier sounding guitar would be better, I cant put my finger on it, but the tone to my ears doesnt match the song, no biggie, its your song.

Cello, my daughter has a keyboard at the house I should see what I can do with tones like that, I always like a string wash on slower more ballady material.

Dont take anything I said negative, Im just trying to be honest in what I hear, good job.

No - comments appreciated! I would expect guitar lead comments from you or Jeff - woudl love to have either of you throw some lead tracks on my songs! I'm just a hack compared to you guys.
It's good to throw songs out to other musicians before releasing them to the general unwashed public!
When I post them on the recording forums i get nit-picking things like 'increase the compression kick-in on the bass blaa -blaa' ... stuff no one can hear except a studio whiz!