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Santa
Posted:
Wed Dec 12, 2012 12:54 amby RhythmMan-2
Timmy was sitting on Santa's lap.
.
"What do you want for Christmas, Timmy?" Santa asked.
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He replies, "Santa, can you send me a little brother for Christmas?"
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Santa replied, "Sure, Timmy. Send me your mother!"
.
Posted:
Wed Dec 12, 2012 12:59 amby gbheil
he he he heee
Posted:
Wed Dec 12, 2012 1:00 amby Mike Nobody
And mommy gave Santa the clap for Christmas!
Christ Mas Cards ....
Posted:
Wed Dec 12, 2012 4:35 pmby Vampier
...I once saw an excellent Card for XMAS in a shop ... I bought them all. It showed a darkened living room with Santa placing the pressies under the tree and little Timmy peeking from behind the doorway his eyes "Big with Wnder" as Santa said to him ... "Well Timmy, now that you have seen me I will have to Kill you".
Live Well Die Well and my best wishes to EVERYONE in the realm of this Forum. Enjoy the "holidays" with your Loved ones and Families and tell them the things that you would regret not telling them should things happen and you never get the chance again.
Posted:
Thu Dec 13, 2012 5:11 amby fisherman bob
Mike Nobody wrote:And mommy gave Santa the clap for Christmas!
. Santa's a pretty old dude, isn't he? Viagra 's good for somebody I guess.
Posted:
Thu Dec 13, 2012 12:46 pmby Starfish Scott
Santa doesn't need viagra, he's got MAGIC.. lol
Posted:
Fri Dec 14, 2012 3:56 amby RhythmMan-2
Santa is always jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.
Posted:
Fri Dec 14, 2012 4:01 pmby Starfish Scott
RhythmMan-2 wrote:Santa is always jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.
THANK YOU, that's the funniest thing I heard in 6 months.
You should have saved that for the joke thread cause that is a "winner" there.
Posted:
Wed Dec 19, 2012 1:25 amby RhythmMan-2
When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre -Christmas pressure.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where.
Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.
Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor.
In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor.
He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?
And thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
Posted:
Wed Dec 19, 2012 1:52 pmby gbheil
Perhaps the magic corn gets up more than deer ?
Posted:
Wed Dec 19, 2012 1:56 pmby J-HALEY
Chief Engineer Scott wrote:Santa doesn't need viagra, he's got MAGIC.. lol
Santa has the "magic dust" man!
Posted:
Wed Dec 19, 2012 2:35 pmby Starfish Scott
Heeeey nooooww, Santa does not do "the dust".
The elves may be making it, but I don't think he's using.
(god I hope not) lol
"Help-Help Santa is loose in the shopping area, smashing windows with his fist cause "he's on dust"".
YIKES..no wonder sounded "off" during the caroling.. lol
Posted:
Wed Dec 19, 2012 6:40 pmby Mike Nobody
J-HALEY wrote:Chief Engineer Scott wrote:Santa doesn't need viagra, he's got MAGIC.. lol
Santa has the "magic dust" man!
He can only handle that dust once a year.
Then he spends the rest of the year recuperating.
