Musician Forum - Band Discussion Board - BandMix

finally put a tune up on my profile page.

this is a rough take of a new tune i'm working up w my buddy val goodrich.

her vcls/lyrics. my gtr/music

also up here: http://www.soundclick.com/player/single ... 97296&q=hi

Planetguy wrote:finally put a tune up on my profile page.

this is a rough take of a new tune i'm working up w my buddy val goodrich.

her vcls/lyrics. my gtr/music

also up here: http://www.soundclick.com/player/single ... 97296&q=hi

Interesting piece PG

I'm No jazz expert by any means... But I think I know why the pattern (opening) in this case, could throw off the vocalist. Take a look at the chorus part (guitar progression ) while she sings verse "...peace and love" Note the chord accent that you apply in the phrase , as it climbs to grab that tiny note up there before returning to mainline theme... (I don't know the formal name for that )

In your Intro chords , the pattern has two distinct chords (with dissonant relation) but seems to be missing that follow through...for a proper resolve to its base. The way the chorus does it, should also be applied to the into
This is really just my own sense of aesthetics... I love dissonant pattern, about as much as I love guzzling Iodine LOL! But I do have a respect for it. I do believe that even dissonant form needs some resolve inside the frame work /phrase that delivers it. just IMHO
Otherwise, The rest of the piece is very delightful, simple and pleasant. (Those are always the best ones) Well Done !

thanks for the words, compliments, and the listen!

keep in mind...one man's "dissonance" is another's "consonance".

Planetguy wrote:thanks for the words, compliments, and the listen!

keep in mind...one man's "dissonance" is another's "consonance".

I wrote an essay once, titled: "Dissonance, the Yang of Ying"

It addresses Arnold Schoenberg's dilemma surrounding the creation of music, using his 'a-tonal' methodology. Arnold was right up there with the 'Artist being crucified" club , for his efforts,. In his day, he actually instigated riots in the streets (unintentionally) , and drew severely harsh criticism from patrons of music... Patrons, whom I refer to as 'consumers of music' in my essay. Succinctly put , consumers, who were used to consonance, formal sonata's etc could not understand that when the artist lays the egg, its a raw egg and not the garnish Eggs-Hollandaise dish. Arnold tried to show us the beauty of that raw egg, its essence... (hence the emancipation of dissonance) But consumers would have nothing of the sort... Today , they pay for it...with Beiberism...But there is a light at the end of the tunnel... Dubsteppers are revisiting the Schoenberg glory days without even realizing it. That said, aint it grand that nature's imperatives keep unfolding before us, no matter how much we resist...?

Strange little tune, but she has a very nice voice.

PaperDog wrote:

Planetguy wrote:thanks for the words, compliments, and the listen!

keep in mind...one man's "dissonance" is another's "consonance".

I wrote an essay once, titled: "Dissonance, the Yang of Ying"

It addresses Arnold Schoenberg's dilemma surrounding the creation of music, using his 'a-tonal' methodology. Arnold was right up there with the 'Artist being crucified" club , for his efforts,. In his day, he actually instigated riots in the streets (unintentionally) , and drew severely harsh criticism from patrons of music... Patrons, whom I refer to as 'consumers of music' in my essay. Succinctly put , consumers, who were used to consonance, formal sonata's etc could not understand that when the artist lays the egg, its a raw egg and not the garnish Eggs-Hollandaise dish. Arnold tried to show us the beauty of that raw egg, its essence... (hence the emancipation of dissonance) But consumers would have nothing of the sort... Today , they pay for it...with Beiberism...But there is a light at the end of the tunnel... Dubsteppers are revisiting the Schoenberg glory days without even realizing it. That said, aint it grand that nature's imperatives keep unfolding before us, no matter how much we resist...?

wasn't shoenberg the one who came up w the twelve tone concept/tone rows....writing a piece of music that uses all 12 available chromatic pitches?

I don't like very delightful, simple and pleasant.
I like a song that takes you by surprise somewhere along the trail.
All the possibilities are there in that song. The trigger to finding it
usually comes from the vocalist if they are inventive and talented.
If the musician finds it. It will be from going somewhere outside the
norm and almost uncomfortable.

This mindset in writing will discover new melodies and expand your
writing boundaries.

JMHO[/b]

jimmydanger wrote:Strange little tune, but she has a very nice voice.

hah....if you think THAT'S strange.....you should hear some of my OTHER stuff!

Nice little piece, but I would choose a more melodic, contrasting passage for the chorus.
BUT, that's just one guys opinion.
A descending melody - peace . and . loooove
Descending arpegio maybe.

But I'm nutty.

haha paper - I need glasses ~ I read Schoenberg as schwarzenegger at first glance which made me think of Austrian Death Machine (http://youtu.be/tPIO86jTrQQ) - you can imagine the ensuing confusion I experienced while reading the rest of what you wrote.

Planet ~ I enjoyed your song. Very pleasant to my ears. I liked your chord progression - well played and well sung. There was no option for that in the poll, so this is my option

Chris

PaperDog wrote:

Planetguy wrote:thanks for the words, compliments, and the listen!

keep in mind...one man's "dissonance" is another's "consonance".

I wrote an essay once, titled: "Dissonance, the Yang of Ying"

It addresses Arnold Schoenberg's dilemma surrounding the creation of music, using his 'a-tonal' methodology. Arnold was right up there with the 'Artist being crucified" club , for his efforts,. In his day, he actually instigated riots in the streets (unintentionally) , and drew severely harsh criticism from patrons of music... Patrons, whom I refer to as 'consumers of music' in my essay. Succinctly put , consumers, who were used to consonance, formal sonata's etc could not understand that when the artist lays the egg, its a raw egg and not the garnish Eggs-Hollandaise dish. Arnold tried to show us the beauty of that raw egg, its essence... (hence the emancipation of dissonance) But consumers would have nothing of the sort... Today , they pay for it...with Beiberism...But there is a light at the end of the tunnel... Dubsteppers are revisiting the Schoenberg glory days without even realizing it. That said, aint it grand that nature's imperatives keep unfolding before us, no matter how much we resist...?

Planetguy wrote:hah....if you think THAT'S strange.....you should hear some of my OTHER stuff!

In that case, challenge accepted! I quite liked this one.

Sounds good. Now add a simple drum set, upright bass, a lead section or bridge, and maybe a mellow tenor sax.

thanks all for listening, the compliments, and suggestions.

so ....now taking the advice given i'll be adding a follow through for a proper resolve base to the A section

choosing a more melodic, contrasting passage for the chorus.

adding a descending melody - "peace . and . loooove"
and perhaps some Descending arpegio, maybe.

and adding a simple drum set, upright bass, a lead section or bridge, and maybe a mellow tenor sax.

now, who can help me name this brand NEW tune? hehehe

Welcome to what the forum 'used' to be.
We all can't help ourselves with critiques and suggestions.

gtZip wrote::lol:

Welcome to what the forum 'used' to be.
We all can't help ourselves with critiques and suggestions.

aw, it's all good. i'm delighted some folks took the time to listen and offer up some words and suggestions.

hey, at least no one told me not to quit my day gig. (you'll notice that was NOT one of the options i listed in the poll!)