THE ITALIAN WHO WENT TO CHICAGO
Posted: Wed Sep 05, 2012 10:31 pmYOU KNOW, I DOAN LAK CHICAGO WORTH A SHEET. THEY DOAN HAF NO HOSPITALITY. FOR INSTANCE, THESE MORN, I GO TO COFFEE SHOP FOA BREAKFAST AN TELLA DA GIRL," PLEESE, I WANNA TWO PEESE A TOAST." WHAT YOU THINK SHE BRINGA ME? ONE PEESE! I SAY, " I WANNA TWO PEESE!" SHE SAY, IF YOU WANNA TO PEESE, GO TO TOILET." I SAY, " YOU NO UNDERSTAND, I WANNA TWO PEESE ON MY PLATE." SHE SAY, "DOAN PEESE ON YOUR PLATE, YOU SONNA MA BEECH." I NEVER SEE DAT LADY BEFORE IN MY LIFE. I NO WANNA EAT IN PLACE WHERE DEY CALL ME "SONNA MA BEECH", SO I GO OUT!
I GOT TO DA DRAKE FOR MY DEENER, AND DA LADY THERE BRINGA ME A KNIFE AND A NAPKIN BUT NO FOKE. I SAY, "LADY, I WANNA FOKE." SHE SAY, " WATCHA YOU TALK, EVERYBODY WANNA FOKE." I SAY, " YOU NO UNDERSTAND, I WANNA FOKE ON THE TABLE. " SHE SAY, " YOU NO CARE WHERE YOU FOKE, YOU SONNA MA BEECH." I DOAN EAT THERE EITHER, I GO BACK TO MY ROOM.
WHEN I GET TO MY ROOM I GOTTA NO SHEET ON MY BED. SO I PHONE DA MANJER AN TELL HIM THAT I WANNA SHEET ON MY BED. HE SAID, " IF YOU WANNA SHEET, GO TO DA BATHROOM." I TELLA HIM, " YOU NO UNDERSTAND, I WANNA SHEET ONA MY BED." HE SAY, " DONNA SHEET ON THE BED YOU SONNA MA BEECH. " I DOAN LAK SO I CHECK OUT. I GO DOWN TO CHECK OUT AND PAYA MY BILL. I TELL CHICAGO MAN I WANNA CHECK OUT TO NEW YORK. HE SAY, " WELL OKAY, GOODABYE ANA PEESE ON YOU." I SAY, " PEESE ONA YOU TOO, YOU SONNA MA BEECH, CAUSA I GO BACK TOA MY ITALY NOW."
I GOT TO DA DRAKE FOR MY DEENER, AND DA LADY THERE BRINGA ME A KNIFE AND A NAPKIN BUT NO FOKE. I SAY, "LADY, I WANNA FOKE." SHE SAY, " WATCHA YOU TALK, EVERYBODY WANNA FOKE." I SAY, " YOU NO UNDERSTAND, I WANNA FOKE ON THE TABLE. " SHE SAY, " YOU NO CARE WHERE YOU FOKE, YOU SONNA MA BEECH." I DOAN EAT THERE EITHER, I GO BACK TO MY ROOM.
WHEN I GET TO MY ROOM I GOTTA NO SHEET ON MY BED. SO I PHONE DA MANJER AN TELL HIM THAT I WANNA SHEET ON MY BED. HE SAID, " IF YOU WANNA SHEET, GO TO DA BATHROOM." I TELLA HIM, " YOU NO UNDERSTAND, I WANNA SHEET ONA MY BED." HE SAY, " DONNA SHEET ON THE BED YOU SONNA MA BEECH. " I DOAN LAK SO I CHECK OUT. I GO DOWN TO CHECK OUT AND PAYA MY BILL. I TELL CHICAGO MAN I WANNA CHECK OUT TO NEW YORK. HE SAY, " WELL OKAY, GOODABYE ANA PEESE ON YOU." I SAY, " PEESE ONA YOU TOO, YOU SONNA MA BEECH, CAUSA I GO BACK TOA MY ITALY NOW."