General Music Chat

I just thought I would start a little different thread on music.

For you folks with another person in your life, how do you deal with them and music at the same time?

Thru the years there have been some issues with my significant others in regards to me playing music.

From gals showing me too much attention, to the time it takes to practice, to scheduling gigs way in advance and falling on family time so to speak.

I was just curious about other peoples views and storys along this line.

Great thread John! Significant others can be a real PROBLEM and a real ASSET! I don't think that they can TRULEY understand how important music is to us until they are MATURE! The jealousy, can tear a relationship apart! I have seen the EXSTREEM of this in every direction! I suggest when first entering a relationship you make it PERFECTLY CLEAR that you intend on playing music till your dieing breath!

Monks would make good musicians lol

I think Paul McCartney had a good idea to make his wife part of his band.

My music was always second to the family, some would argue that, but that's the way it was. Now that the kids are grown if they want to hang around they better grab an instrument, or carry this stuff around for me.

TMS = Too Much Sh*t

Hopelessly devoted to my music now. If I ever find another gal she'd have to be a musician, cause that's all I think and do anymore. No Fishing, Car Racing, Sports, ............. BBQ, Woodworking are about all that's left of my former self.

I have taken up collecting fine art, but it's just to make my music better. My two paintings one of a boring Whale, the other is just a awful mixed up mess by some guy that thought too much. oh but it's fine art lol

It always a tricky path to navigate John ...

1- The wife has to realize that music is important to you .. you start going nuts if you don't play ... happy life thing
2- It's a JOB .. I don't take my wife to work
3- I would never have a wife in the band ... that's just asking for trouble
4- I never allow a gal to show me too much attention ... I politely move on .. my ego doesn't need to be stroked ... I'd rather network with fans
5- When I have to schedule a gig way in advance, I first discuss it with the wife ... she was part of the discussion so she can't come back on me.
6- Practice ... it part of the job

Money I make playing is used for holidays ... get aways or eating out for both of us ... so the wife shares in the rewards of me playing out

Ask them if they would prefer you playing with other guys or other girls. That usually ends the discussion.

Seriously, you have to make it clear from the first date that doing music is your number one hobby. No snowmobiles, hunting, softball leagues or any other stuff, just music.

We just used to get divorces. That worked pretty well a couple of times.

Now that I'm single, I don't gig anymore.

Do you suppose that subconsciously I was just using that for an excuse to get divorced?

We just used to get divorces. That worked pretty well a couple of times.

Now that I'm single, I don't gig anymore.

Do you suppose that subconsciously I was just using that for an excuse to get divorced?

Hmmm. ...................... could work

I am very lucky for meeting my "Significant Other" during one of my performances. She knows how involved music is in my life and she is completely supportive of it. The one thing that pisses her off is how I involve myself with people who end up wasting my time or screwing me over. For example, I have had a couple of past band members who were caught up in substance abuse, or some who just plainly didn't take music as serious as I do. The coolest thing about our relationship is how she pushes me to make progress..... "you should be playing out by now!" is a line that she likes to end some conflicts lol.

jsantos

WE enjoy your music. So your "Significant Other" is pretty wise indeed.

Never give up never surrender .........................

I just thought I would start a little different thread on music.

For you folks with another person in your life, how do you deal with them and music at the same time?

Thru the years there have been some issues with my significant others in regards to me playing music.

From gals showing me too much attention, to the time it takes to practice, to scheduling gigs way in advance and falling on family time so to speak.

I was just curious about other peoples views and storys along this line.

John you still don't understand the most basic thing about women.
They crave attention and SEX. My personal experience is that simple. After that you can do anything you want. Its that simple.

My experience has been that women are more jealous of lost time than they are of other women.
They want your time and attention.

If they don't have your time, then they don't have your attention.
If they don't have attention, they will find it somewhere else, or leave.
They are wired to need to believe that they are number 1.

Fruits of your labor directed towards them is a good idea, Prevost.

I fought that battle decades ago with my wife claiming she was a Kung Fu Widow.
It was not until she began training herself did she understand and appreciate the addiction / dedication required.

So it's nothing new to her the band and all.
Jeanette is very supportive of the mission though at times she like to harass me about the mystery boxes that show up on the porch.

" How much did that cost me " she'll say rather tersely ...

My usual response is " I don't remember "

Gotten to be kind of a family joke.

You just have to let her know you have a MUCH better package, just for her.

Good topic.
If you play long enough there will surely be issues here. When my wife is feeling neglected she usually responds by leaving hate mail on my bathroom mirror. I read it and respond in kind. It is our way to keep things civil and work through stuff without throwing breakable objects

Over the years she came to understand that every guy wants to do the right thing but they also gotta let the boy out every now and then or they go crazy, dry up, and just turn mean. I also came to understand that once or twice a month we gotta do something that is all for her.

So I gig once or twice a month, get in a little racing and it keeps me feeling alive. Then I fix stuff she wants done around the house, put my monkey suit on and go to fancy parties she finds interesting, and take her to the theater every now and then. We also take walks or waterfall hikes together. It's all about compromise. If she feels I take an interest in her she is less jealous of the boys time.

Two ground rules though: "No chicks in the band and keep your hands off the honeys." I can live with that.

AAHH some of you will never win.
http://www.heaven666.org/embed/58709