Musician Forum - Band Discussion Board - BandMix

Les and I wrote this very quickly.

No notebook, this is 100% collaboration between Les and myself.
It seemed like it wrote itself in retrospect.

Les did all drums, all keys, all mastering, recording and 99% of the lyrics.

I did vocals, guitar, bass and 1% lyrical adjustment to an otherwise complete set of lyrics.

It's yet another departure from what I am used to.

We hope you like it..

It's on my player and his, it's called "Irrational".

Hard for me technically to critique something I really don't have a feel for.

I will say this much ... I enjoyed the listen.

Oh and a little less effect or possible 1-2 db further out front would make the lyrical content easier to understand without changing the feel of the overall mix.

I love it very Pink Floydish! Makes me want to smoke a joint

Yeah, early Floyd-ish . . . vocal delivery reminds me of the Kinks . . . the breaks are pretty cool . . . overall it has a very 60's British Mod feel.

Nice work!

Nice Job Scott, I liked most of it even though it gets a little boring after while.

Etu, I would say it sounds more like later Floydish, like The Wall. To me, there were five major Pink Floyd eras: the Syd Barrett era 1966-1969, the post Syd era 1969-1973, the DSOTM era 1973-1979, the Wall era 1979-1983, and the post Roger Waters era 1983-now. But DSOTM was the dividing point between the "old" Floyd and the "new" Floyd.

I am downloading it now. It will be a while to get appreciable sound. I will say your cover art is worth the price of a CD. too bad we don't get the posters like we did in the vinyl age. A good silkscreen shop could make you money. I would wear any of your cover art as a T-shirt except the picture of Captain Scott. Pink Floyd, My favorite album hands down was Animals. I haven't heard a bip of your music yet, so I don't compare. Still, your cover art is better than any of P.F.s. It has been 15 minutes and I've got 3 seconds.

It has now been about 45 minutes and I'm stuck at 3 seconds. A refresh and now I'm getting awesome keyboar sounds. Already, I'm getting the PF. It's that Roger Walters singing voice and the anticipational build-up.

I'm sorry, but as a citique I have to say I understand the others use of the word boring. I could be a listener to that but it needs a rasp run across it. A little too soft, but not for a nursery rhyme or an elevator. As an impromptu sound it has focus and generation. A lead guitar break is already late if you have one. A half asleep vocal needs passion, a light growling guitar may give it intention, purpose, resolve.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not shouting you down. I am getting this is not a finished work. As recorded, it can be dubbed with simplicity to get a finished product and something I Would buy.

I had to refresh. It is true to your "about" mission. I am not telling you this to avert your mission. PF is pretty much done. They've remastered and re- recorded to find a buck. Yours is fresh, yet, you don't have the collection of artists and equipment that PF has. I think that alone should give you drive in the direction you're going.

This song is right up my alley. I love this kind of arangement and sound. Can I DL this and keep it?

Thanks everyone for taking the time to give it a listen and the future edits will definitely consider the opinions here. That’s why I like this site so much. You can get a lot of smoke anywhere else, but honesty is a rare commodity.

Absolutely RGMix. But I’ll be working on it today, getting the vocals clearer and bringing the kick drum down a touch. Ah well actually it’s a work in progress, I’m certain it’ll have a few more changes before it’s finished. Strange I was real tired on the last listen, but the kick didn’t seem too loud at all. lol Love that signature.

Crunchysoundbite moving the solo forward in the tune is a great idea. Actually Scott had mentioned doing a structure change, seems like I had better listen. Scott has a great talent towards getting strange changes from out of the blue to actually work well for the tune. So if it needs a little something to keep it interesting, I’m fairly certain it’s achievable. So far our collaboration has been fun as hell. This song was maybe twenty minutes to make and between Scott and I, it just seemed to write itself. I like being busy and Scott can get an amazing amount of stuff done in two sessions. I’m really enthusiastic about what we can come up with in the future.

Sans good call. I had it a lot clearer at one point so going back to it. The problem was the clarity invoked a lot of sibilance, but I agree the vocals need to be clearer than where they are currently parked.

Good job!
wish I could rattle off lyrics like that,
and be able to sing them as well.
not so crazy about the axis interpretation though

Scott,

It's really a beautiful song.... Love the melody, and the ethereal effects that surround it...

Given the number of breaks, the continuity and flow of the melody (as nice as it is) does tend get a little monotonous. Easy fix: Consider maybe adding some harmonies to underscore the lyrics after the 2nd break...

I would also recommend, a switch up the drum patterns on 2nd and 4th sections... Some variation on the theme can go a long way..

All and all, I really like your style...

I really don't like to mention effects on anyone but, if I were to change any it would be the echo or reverbed vocal. It will take the strain out of the listen if you cut it back a tad. A song worth composing as you have is worth understanding.