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What do you all think of this spoken word funk tune I threw down last night?

It is the first track in my Bandmix profile called Imagination is a Wild Thing.

Vocal's and lyrics are by my friend, Poetically Speaking Dracie, and I programmed the drums and played the bass guitar.

Thanks for checking it out!

FunkDealer wrote:What do you all think of this spoken word funk tune I threw down last night?

It is the first track in my Bandmix profile called Imagination is a Wild Thing.

Vocal's and lyrics are by my friend, Poetically Speaking Dracie, and I programmed the drums and played the bass guitar.

Thanks for checking it out!

The beat /bass is ok...Kind of basic, really. But the irony here is that your lyric has left absolutely nothing to my 'wild imagination'.. In short its sounds like you spoon fed the listener, with a full tilt expose of the details between you and your girl, hooking up... NOT Sexy in the least...

Just keeping it real...(And you did ask...)

PaperDog wrote:

FunkDealer wrote:What do you all think of this spoken word funk tune I threw down last night?

It is the first track in my Bandmix profile called Imagination is a Wild Thing.

Vocal's and lyrics are by my friend, Poetically Speaking Dracie, and I programmed the drums and played the bass guitar.

Thanks for checking it out!

The beat /bass is ok...Kind of basic, really. But the irony here is that your lyric has left absolutely nothing to my 'wild imagination'.. In short its sounds like you spoon fed the listener, with a full tilt expose of the details between you and your girl, hooking up... NOT Sexy in the least...

Just keeping it real...(And you did ask...)

I should qualify.. I am not trying to bust your chops on this... But I would expect the same reality check if I asked for a review. (Which is why I never ask )

I forgot to mention, in the prose, work more on the meter... Like try some counter against the main beat and so on...

Just keeping it real...(And you did ask...)[/quote]

Thank You PD

Inflection is as important to the spoken word as it is to that which is sung.
This is one reason why the written word is so easily misinterpreted.
We sonically cue on inflection.
I cannot tell you how many times my wife got pissed just because of the " tone " of my voice.
How many times does a parent tell a teen " don't take that tone with me young man "
The speaker sounded ... bored ?

Perhaps bored is a tad harsh, but I find an appropriate descriptive term elusive.

Thanks San. I get what you are saying.

I should have mentioned the following:

Please forgive the random noise as this was recorded on a Zoom Q3 set next to my bass guitar amp with Dracie's poem, Imagination is a Wild Thing, playing on my laptop! I was playing a Schecktor-4 electric bass through a Fender 250 Bassman amp and I programmed the drums on a Dr. Rhythm DR-770.

Do you think this could be improved upon?

I am thinking we should record this while actual involved in the the act of having sex, and involving a live drummer, preferably an attractive female.

1) I liked it. I am not a purveyor of funk, but I dug it.

2) It's not a bad recording, but I like better production work on material that is good, thus you qualify. YES, please on the better production.

3) I'm not crazy about her voice. Something about it left me dry. Maybe it was the fact her voice is so low volume on the recording. idk.

I was expecting to hear "you" do that tune, not her.

Bass line is good, nothing needs adjusted there.

Personally, I would rip out her vocal track and stick yours in it...
OR
Make it a duet, where both you and she do vocals, keep your bass line.

AND do not have sex during the tune..lol I don't wanna hear that either..

You'll be getting critiques that say "vocal punch at 2:40 to remove that shriek as she her eyes rolled up in the back of her head". LMAO

Ok Scotty, cool. I appreciate it.

I am loving the suggestions.

Dracie is a poet and a cool chick from the little town I sprung out of and I can relate to a lot of her poems. I have never met her, but she is a close friend of a great friend. I saw on fb that she was asking for people to send her some beats. From her picks I seen the coolest tatoo. She has music notes on the top of her feet.



I was sitting there btf so I plugged in Dr. Rhythm and turned on the Zoom recorder. I clicked on her poem and improved in her key and it was my first time at playing with the spoken word.
I had fun for sure.


Believe me, she will do it really good when she has music to rehearse with before hand. And I have a great drummer who I play with who will lay down the beat for the final take.


I think the ditty is kind of unique, at least in what I have heard, but I imagine it has all been done before.

Kind of reminds me a bit of Blondie. I dig it.
Cool bass line. Worth spending more time on getting the spoken part tight.
Also I agree with Capt. no sex recording.

FunkDealer wrote:Thanks San. I get what you are saying.

I should have mentioned the following:

Please forgive the random noise as this was recorded on a Zoom Q3 set next to my bass guitar amp with Dracie's poem, Imagination is a Wild Thing, playing on my laptop! I was playing a Schecktor-4 electric bass through a Fender 250 Bassman amp and I programmed the drums on a Dr. Rhythm DR-770.

Do you think this could be improved upon?

I am thinking we should record this while actual involved in the the act of having sex, and involving a live drummer, preferably an attractive female.

Not my style of music at all. Good bass playing. If it came down to doing something a little out there, the live sex Idea is pretty good. Sex sells. music doesn't.

Thank You fellas for liking my bassline!

It means so much more coming from other musicians.

Sounds like shes reading.
Have her memorize it and "voice-act" it.

And hey, Guns N Roses put the sounds of sex on a song, so go for it.
On the middle section of the song Rocket Queen.

From Wikipedia:

"Rose brought a woman named Adriana Smith, who was drummer Adler's girlfriend at the time, to the studio and had sex with her so that the sounds that Smith made could be recorded and put over the bridge of the song. Steve Thompson, an engineer of the album, said:

Axl wanted some pornographic sounds on Rocket Queen, so he brought a girl in and they had sex in the studio. We wound up recording about 30 minutes of sex noises. If you listen to the break on Rocket Queen it's in there.[5]
Another engineer, Michael Barbiero, did not want to record the sex session, so he set up the microphones and left the task to his assistant, Vic Deyglio.[5] Deyglio said the studio was "like a Ron Jeremy set", and he even had to enter the booth to adjust a microphone on which Rose and Smith had crashed into.[6] The Appetite for Destruction liner notes jokingly acknowledge Deyglio's contribution by crediting him as "Victor 'the f**k engineer' Deglio"