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I dream upon your broken seams...my beautiful life seeping acid into your fingers. If I try to get away...forever drowning in the monsters in the sand. You are my madness, the voice that calls me deep inside. A thousand wilting flowers whisper sweetly your name to me. No more shadows does the sunlight make. I love you my darkest dream. Bleed with me. Kiss me. Forever.

-Just thought I'd share-

Oh lawd, your girl should write you some lyrics! That's thought provoking poetry right there. Stellar! I want a girl that can write me cool stuff like that. I usually get: I love you, I missed you, and the fact that we've gone through so much is just a test to make us stronger. Ptooey! Talk about another homeade purple card that will collect dust, or accidently get thrown away with all the old bills.

Sounds kind of morbid and negative to me. It doesn't paint a nice
picture in the readers mind. I would never say those things to my wife.
Stop trying to be so artistic and speak from your heart. That's what
she really wants to hear.

KLUGMO wrote:Sounds kind of morbid and negative to me. It doesn't paint a nice
picture in the readers mind.

X2

One can not truly write of Life. Until the time they begin to fear Death.

Now really?? If I were to buy into that at all ....... It would be my belief that no one can truly experience or write of life until they have lost their fear of death.

For if you have lost your fear of death, you truly have freedom to write whatever you wish about the powers that be, or whomever, without fear of reprisal. Just an opinion of one who does not fear death.

It must have been late when I responded. I thought it was the girlfriend who wrote the poem for you. Anyway, people have different ways of expressing their appreciation. Don't see anything negative, and I like to consider myself some sort of a poet/writer.

Daniel Towsley wrote:I dream upon your broken seams...my beautiful life seeping acid into your fingers. If I try to get away...forever drowning in the monsters in the sand. You are my madness, the voice that calls me deep inside. A thousand wilting flowers whisper sweetly your name to me. No more shadows does the sunlight make. I love you my darkest dream. Bleed with me. Kiss me. Forever.

-Just thought I'd share-

All of the bold words are negatives to me. So that's like a third of the words. Or 90% of the ideas in the poem that are negative. It's fine if that's what you're into. It just doesn't appeal to klugmo or I. It seems bleak and... well negative really sums it up. Don't get me wrong I love sad songs. This is just creepy to me.

Love what you have done Daniel. I think it's beatiful!!

Let's not forget "she loved it". I think it's filled with a lot of interesting imagery. Not my cup of tea, but it is creative

SirJamsalot wrote:Let's not forget "she loved it".

Good point.

I believe she said she Loved it because she Loves him.

Know what I mean.

Hi, all! Well... I believe it's the kind of thing that people who are fans of the "Emo" genre would listen to.... Sort of reminds me of very early AFI.

AT

Very imaginative ... I like the work with metaphors.

Kind of morbid ? Perhaps ... but well struck.

"You are my madness, the voice that calls me deep inside"
Sounds like young love to me. The feeling of wanting someone especially when they're not around can be magnified till it's all you can think about. I've been driven mad a time or two.
I can relate.

Some people think hairless cats and dogs are beautiful too.
I just dont ,thats all.