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"...Depression's got a hold of me
Depression - I gotta break free
Depression's got a hold of me
Depression's gonna kill me ..."

~ Depression, Black Flag

Clinical depression is not just being "bummed out." Depression is not a choice. You can't just "snap-out" of it at will, whatever armchair psychologists here may think. It can have a crippling effect on just being functional in day-to-day activities. Anti-depressants help a lot. But, they have to be taken regularly at the same time every day to be effective. I forget a lot. Oversleep sometimes. So, that kind of f*cks me up. My girlfriend has been really proud of the effort I've made to crawl out of this hole and do something productive music-wise. Before I was on anti-depressants, I used to go through almost a bottle a day of caffeine pills. I had read some article in Psychology Today that said caffeine was a natural anti-depressant, which would explain my lifelong diet cola addiction. The problem with that is it made me irritable and short tempered, especially at work. But, it helped keep me going.

The upside of dealing with assholes online is it may be having a similar side-effect, as long as I don't turn that negativity inward.

"Anger is more useful than despair." ~ Terminator 3

I was watching a documentary about the Ramones recently and discovered something I never realized. Joey Ramone struggled with mental illness as well. It was so serious that doctors told the family "he's going to be a vegetable. He's not going to be able to function in society. He's somebody you're probably going to have to take care of for the rest of his life."

He was somebody that was facing extreme adversity, but who went on to overcome it and achieve amazing spectacular things.

How rock music and the Ramones saved Joey is probably self-explanatory. Despite what he was told, he dug deep and found it within himself to carry on and pursue his dream. Which he did. I find that inspiring.

"Anger is an energy" ~ John Lydon (formerly known as Johnny Rotten)

I may go through periods of inactivity. But, I'm hoping to build some momentum and get some things accomplished. Get some songs ready. Get creative with the limitations imposed on us, lack of equipment, lack of bandmates, etc. Just gotta get some mojo going, y'know?

Winston Churchill had a rough time with it too - brandy was apparently his solution. He referred to his depression as the "Black Dog."


Talbot

I can't help you with the psychological medications, I'm not qualified. I HAVE had vast experience with family members who had many serious psychological problems, depression, schizophrenia, obsessive-compulsion, etc. The very BEST natural anti-depressant IMO is taking a ten-fifteen minute walk every day if possible. Make sure you have a tall glass of water before every meal. Consume 20-30 grams of fiber every day. Eat some protein at every meal. Find out what foods work well with your blood type (blood type diets). When you take your walk focus on the beautiful things around you. Realize that the Earth is an amazing place, there's wonderful things all around you IF you have the presence of mind to NOTICE them. It seems like you tend to notice the negative more than the positive. REVERSE THIS TENEDENCY. People are MORE GOOD than bad. Music is MORE GOOD than bad. You tend to want to drag others into your depression. You need to REVERSE this. I'm sure there's people in your life who bring you down ("friends", acquaintances, family members, etc.) and people who raise you up. Spend as little time as possible with those that bring you down, even family members and as much time as possible with those that raise you up. FIND THE GOOD IN PEOPLE AND THE BEAUTY IN YOUR SURROUNDINGS AND TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY. All the psychological meds in the world won't help you as much changing what you do, whom you associate for the better. Your band situation will improve if your personal life improves...

Yes Mike I understand what you're going through as only another true depressive can. It's hard to describe the blackness unless you've been there.
It runs in my family and I've suffered from it most of my life. I'm in a good phase right now.
What helps me more than anything else other than good meds is meditation.
Just as everything starts to spin out, mediation seems to seems to stop the spin. I call it my reset button.
The best of luck with it Mike, it colors everything...and it's fatal if you ignore it.....

Stranger wrote:Yes Mike I understand what you're going through as only another true depressive can. It's hard to describe the blackness unless you've been there.
It runs in my family and I've suffered from it most of my life. I'm in a good phase right now.
What helps me more than anything else other than good meds is meditation.
Just as everything starts to spin out, mediation seems to seems to stop the spin. I call it my reset button.
The best of luck with it Mike, it colors everything...and it's fatal if you ignore it.....

Yeah, I used to meditate fairly regularly. But, it's been awhile. My sleep patterns are too erratic to stick to any schedule right now. I should really get back into the practice.

I personally think the Buddhist temples have the solution to all of your problems, Mike. They hit you in the head with a stick every time you display stupid thinking. You learn not to think that way very quickly, or you walk around with a bumpy head for life.

Ppl in our society molly-coddle themselves way too much, with this stupid idea that they cannot help the way they feel, that they are not in control of themselves & their thoughts. Ya know what? I'm sorry to tell you this, but that is just so much bullshit. If you don't have a serious physical problem with your brain, you can change the way you think. By admitting defeat, you're just gonna hafta go on drugs forever, & never know the feeling you can get by overcoming yourself.

Just my two cents on the subject.

If you want to stop being depressed, get busy. I mean, get REALLY busy. FORCE yourself to do stupid tasks. Dig a hole & fill it back in. Put everything you have into it. This will turm off your internal dialogue, which is your worst enemy. The more menial the task, the better. The more physically demanding the task, the better. The more repetitive the task, the better. Mindless work causes the mind to stop for awhile. CONCENTRATE on the mindless task, doing as perfect a job as you can, & your petty, self-pitying thoughts will cease, & you will stop being depressed. (This of course is not the best course of action for someone with OCD...there are other ways of handling taht one.)

Gee, you just radiate positivity, Phil. Thanks for nothing.

Gee, Mike! I thought my post was VERY positive! It gives you an alternative tio being tied to the pharmaceutical machine, gets you away from doctors, & costs you NOTHING, in terms of money...AND,,,most importantly, it is a proven method of ridding yourself of depression.

Did you want me to hold your hand & say, "Oh, you poor thing?" Why would I do that, when there are truly proven ways to get out of the ditch you've dug yourself into?

You don't have to take the advice. Mike. You can look at it as if it was pure junk, if you wish. You are free to look at me as a quack, or an asshole, or whatever other adjective you prefer, but it doesn't alter the fact that I was trying to help you our of your situation.

I posted my response, because I have been there. I've dealt with the panic attacks, the extreme lows of life, the works, & i found my way out of it. I'm not pushing a religion on you, or anything at all, really. I just offered you an alternative to the things you are doing, now, that don't seem to be working out so well for you...but, by all means, feel free to continue as you are, with the same results, ad infinitum, if that is your wish.

I'll try to withhold any positive advice I may have for you in the future, if it offends you so greatly.

Have a nice day.

Quote from philby

" If you want to stop being depressed, get busy. I mean, get REALLY busy. FORCE yourself to do stupid tasks. Dig a hole & fill it back in. Put everything you have into it. This will turm off your internal dialogue, which is your worst enemy. The more menial the task, the better. The more physically demanding the task, the better. The more repetitive the task, the better. Mindless work causes the mind to stop for awhile. CONCENTRATE on the mindless task, doing as perfect a job as you can, & your petty, self-pitying thoughts will cease, & you will stop being depressed. (This of course is not the best course of action for someone with OCD...there are other ways of handling taht one.)"

OMG Philby. Are you telling him to get a government job?

I don't know, Mike. I think if you tried, you could handle more than you think you can. For someone who claims to have the problems you do, you seem to be capable of some thing's from what I've seen. I mean, most people would have left the forum at this point, some have actually...for a lot less!

What I think you need to analyze is:What is it that you say that seems to tick people off? Once you dial that in, then the next thing is control. Not walking on eggshells control, or not being yourself control, but holding back control. This is what keeps the peace amongst all people. Ultimately, respect.

I've had to learn control. The main reason I stopped drinking entirely was because of my lack of it. My ability to stop for starters. Because too much causes a lack of ability to control, or even remember for that matter. Since then, I've been capable of having a few beers once in a while with no problem. That's because I got a hold on it.

Listening to the inner voice, or even that gut feeling, will keep from a lot of problems.

I think I've dialed it down a bit. I haven't posted any fecal pictures.

RG and others got pissed recently because I mentioned black humor. I didn't make a black humor joke. I just mentioned it when the discussion went to the Challenger shuttle explosion.

Mike Nobody wrote:I think I've dialed it down a bit. I haven't posted any fecal pictures.

Yes, you have, & I'd like to thank you for it.

I didn't take offense at the black humor thing, either, cuz it's also one of my best defenses against the darkness, Mike. I think you're doing fine, except when ya get all defensive. Sometimes ya just gotta let things slide, man. You made some waves, early on. It's gonna take some time to get over that, in some ppl's minds. Have patience & persevere. Even if they never get over it, you can, & move on. Most of 'em will come around if ya just keep showing your sunnier side...LOL

...let the abuse roll off you like water off a duck's back...

Mike, the best advice i can give you, or anyone who tends to feel gloomy, is reading. The right book can change your life, but only if you put work into it.

Kruliosis wrote:Mike, the best advice i can give you, or anyone who tends to feel gloomy, is reading. The right book can change your life, but only if you put work into it.

Some really good books anybody should check out:

Zen and the art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert M. Pirsig

Our Band Could Be Your Life by Michael Azerrad

The Tao of Physics by Fritjof Capra

Hardcore Zen by Brad Warner

Myths to Live By by Joseph Campbell

Albert Einstein: Philosopher Scientist by Paul Arthur Schilpp

Understanding Stupidity by James F. Welles Ph.D.

The Story of Stupidity by James F. Welles Ph.D.

Dispatches From the Culture Wars: How the Left Lost Teen Spirit by Danny Goldberg

Wealth and Democracy by Kevin Phillips

The Physics of Star Trek by Lawrence M. Krauss

The Ethics of Star Trek by Judith Barad Ph.D. with Ed Robertson

Make It So: Leadership Lessons From 'Star Trek: The Next Generation by Wess Roberts Ph.D. and Bill Ross

Boldly Live as You've Never Lived Before: Life Lessons From Star Trek by Richard Raben and Hiyaguha Cohen

The Fourth Turning by William Strauss and Neil Howe