Unfortunately, I'm very close to where Hayden is right now, in terms of mindset. I've realized this year that music for me is a joy that comes with a chest full of heartache.
I'm in the wrong location (without the option of moving-even traveling to a decent area would mean hours on the road).
Musically, I've become WAY too particular...I would love to be playing, even in a cover band (I know that sounds snobbish, and I apologize, but the important part of music to me has always been the creative process). The problem is I can no longer psychologically deal with the aspect of telling so-called "musicians" where to put their fingers on their instrument.
For years, I've been beating myself up, failure after failure.
"Why did this band fail? Why couldn't I get that band off the ground?"
Each time I put the blame upon myself, sucked it up and dug in deeper. I worked harder at honing my craft. And in the end, the true cause of all my pain?
Other people.
I know what you are thinking-I've read it on here many times before..."You have to be willing to compromise".
Trust me, I have. I've compromised so much over the years, it's ridiculous. I learned a valuable lesson from it, though. If you bend over backwards long enough, you'll be able to stick your head up your own @ss, and then, just maybe, you can see the point of view of the idiots surrounding you. I have given in on some of the most idiotic points available to man.
My last band had a gig scheduled for three one hour sets...and had enough material for one hour. Three days before the show, this one imbecile decides to play CEO...and starts trying to cut songs off of our set-because HE doesn't like them! Brilliant! Noty only do we have to play the same songs three times over, but now, we may even have to repeat some those songs a FOURTH time, just to make our scheduled time!
(Banging head on wall repeatedly).
I just can't deal with that kind of b.s. anymore. I'm better than that.
Wow. This rant has really been building up. I apologize once again.
My goal for the next year is to miraculously come up with enough money to finish the TWO studio projects I've begun each of the last two years...and to try not to dis-own any more friends or family members in the process. Happy New Year! (At least I didn't have to deal with another over commercialized Christmas season-

).