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So... Been going to school, have a 14 year old and a 1 year old now, still working (slipped that noose till Decemberish I think), and the cover band has been on hiatus for almost 2 months now...

On paper, and logically, everything points to continuing on with school, getting a better job so that I have money to make a reasonable life for the family, and that I really dont have time for a musical project right now.

But... I get these feelings sometimes out of the blue as if theres some imaginary guy yelling at me from a distance as I walk down the road of life, shouting, "Hey, buddy! You're going the wrong way!"
Then I have this urge to quit school, form a band, run away from everything and hit the road.

I know what the logical, ethical, and smart thing to do is, but basically it haunts me that I am, in a way, giving up music.
I dont have any free time. I need to better my financial standing in life.
Then theres the thoughts of, "Well, even if I get a degree... maybe all I will get out of it is a big ass loan to pay off. Maybe it wont change much of anything."

Last few days I have been obsessing over this picture of forming a band - I can see what it will function like, exactly how it should sound like, and I even have a band name that I woke up with in my head that wont leave me alone.

Am I just being a worry wart?
Is it just fear of change, or fear of failure as a provider?
Is it a subconcious self destruct thing?

I feel like I'm at a major cross road, and I'm being split in two.
I don't even understand part of it, because I've been at the point of not liking any sort of public life for awhile.
I haven't been that keen on bars or clubs for quite awhile.

I feel like I'm getting loco in the cabasa.

gtZip wrote:


"Well, even if I get a degree... maybe all I will get out of it is a big ass loan to pay off. Maybe it wont change much of anything."

Lifetime Earnings Soar with Education
Masters degree worth $2.5 million income over a lifetime
By Robert Longley
About.com
Feb 13 2010

How much is higher education worth in cold hard money? A college master's degree is worth $1.3 million more in lifetime earnings than a high school diploma, according to a recent report from the U.S. Census Bureau.

The report titled "The Big Payoff: Educational Attainment and Synthetic Estimates of Work-Life Earnings" (.pdf) reveals that over an adult's working life, high school graduates can expect, on average, to earn $1.2 million; those with a bachelor's degree, $2.1 million; and people with a master's degree, $2.5 million.

Persons with doctoral degrees earn an average of $3.4 million during their working life, while those with professional degrees do best at $4.4 million.

"At most ages, more education equates with higher earnings, and the payoff is most notable at the highest educational levels," said Jennifer Cheeseman Day, co-author of the report

MORE: http://usgovinfo.about.com/od/moneymatters/a/edandearnings.htm

With a decision like this, it's good to start with PURPOSE and MOTIVATION. Assess those FIRST, and that alone may guide you into the best decision for yourself... "What is my goal?" "Why am I continuing my education?" or... "Why am I giving up an education to form a band?" "What is my motivation in each scenario?"

Another thing to consider... "When you are single, you can afford to take as many risks as you see fit." but... "When you are in committed relationships to others... your children... business partner... friends... you really MUST consider the impact of your decisions on THEM as well!"


That said...

Is it impossible to do BOTH? Go to school and have a musical project also? Alot of famous bands were COLLEGE BANDS first, where there is an AUTOMATIC fan base, if your band is decent. It could be possible that GETTING YOUR DEGREE, in... COLLEGE, could also be prime-area for finding band mates, and FANS TOO!

Who knows? Maybe you really can, have it all?

Here's my experience. As someone who planned to do only music, period, I bean to form a rut, although musical. I was teaching and working as an instructional assitant in the music program. Although I was not doing everything I wanted in music...I was doing something. But then I had heard about a musician friend of mine who had developed focal dystonia which stopped his musical career in it's tracks. The thought that he had not been able to perform any of his music for nearly 8 years was a wake-up call for me. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be on Bandmix if it weren't for him. Then I began to pull it together...I began teaching more, playing more and composing more. I began exercising more. I lost weight, I got a new bass flute. I joined a flute choir and began taking a chamber music class at the nearby community college. I received employee of the year award,last year. Once I began to appreciate my ability as a healthy human being, I became better as a person and money earner.

Yes, it is important to take care of your family, but you can indeed do that doing what you love to do.

I dropped out of college...not once, but TWICE.

1st time I was 18. I might have had a chance with music, if I'd gone that route back then, but no...I got married, young, & tried to work my way up through the ranks of various positions.

I got a 2nd chance through Workers Comp when I was 35...& I decided I'd rather be a full-time muso, so I dropped out again.

All I can say is, I'm 55, now, & if I had to do it all over, I think I'd have been better off with the schooling & the job & the security. I know for a FACT that my marriage would have been in better shape, & there would have been a helluva lot less stress in my life, Zip. There ain't much out there, save for physical ailments, that can take it out of you like financial worries.

I can't tell you what to do, & I wouldn't presume to. All I can do is tell you how things have worked out (or not) for me. I made pretty damned good bucks for a while, there, but...no retirement...no SSI...no security. I'll hafta work until I'm dead. And when I got the ulna nerve troubles, it just about killed all my chances of working full time, as well. I just can't physically do it full-time, anymore. AND I don't even have the career experiences that potential employers look for when they hire ppl for good-paying jobs, let alone the schooling.

Of course, your experiences may be better than mine were. Do what you think you should, for yourself, & for your family.

Family always comes first no matter who you are. Once you have one everything else comes second. The main thing that families need, unfortunately, is money. So this is your first priority. As everyone indicated, you can't make good money without an education. I can't imagine what my life would be like if I hadn't gotten one. It wouldn't be pretty. So get your degree, focus on getting a career going, and everything else will fall into place. Best wishes.

run away from everything

define....everything....

celticpiping wrote:

run away from everything

define....everything....

Like if a rabbit were to hop toward me. Run away from it.


Just kidding. Run away from the traditional working world. Naked and free.

I think I know that guy - the one yelling at you ... he was telling me not to pursue becoming a profession beach volleyball player - or was that my wife? hmmm. well anyways - you can do both to start with. It does you no good to starve yourself and your family so you can play music. Music is something you can do whenever. Family, that's attention that requires the "here and now" until they move along.

my thoughts,
Christian A.

I walked or rode a bicycle to school for a time to get my nursing degree. I was in my 30's at the time and had been laid off from Mobil Oil.
Was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life, turning down good paying job offers to continue my education to an unknown future.
Now it's done, the pains of having my truck repossessed, almost losing my home, and my wife, working all night, school all day, sleep maybe 2 - 4 hours at a time, are all but distant memories.
I followed the path that God laid out for me ( with some sneaky satan detours ) and I'm glad I did.

Nursing sucks ... but my home, my jeep, my shop, the loans I took to help my daughters are all within a year of being paid off.

And the band ... is my reward I guess.

There are no guarantees.
But you will know what to do.

If you don't want the responsibility of a family, don't have one.

Everything else is just hindsight.

Capt. Scott wrote:If you don't want the responsibility of a family, don't have one.

Everything else is just hindsight.

Simplistically well struck Cap'n

Oh my GAWD ZIP! This is a no brainer son! Finish your degree. You will have plenty of time to have fun later. A very good friend of mine finished his degree and put the music OFF! he was in the same situation as you are. Now he is an Engineer that makes a TON of dough and can buy almost anything he wants. Money can't buy you happiness but it SURE AS HELL makes being in a band a lot more fun!

sanshouheil wrote:

Capt. Scott wrote:If you don't want the responsibility of a family, don't have one.

Everything else is just hindsight.

Simplistically well struck Cap'n

Agreed ... if you want to go down the staving artist road ... you shouldn't have got married. You have to go with PLAN B "Finish your degree"

I always say that I don't do it because I want to. not even because I have to. I do it because I don't have any choice; it owns me.

But I don't have any children!


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