Musician Forum - Band Discussion Board - BandMix

I paid for my privileges here, so I get to use them. Why should I let you ride on my back?

1) It's very much this fellows right to feel this way.
2) This sentiment can PERHAPS be extended to, and applied on a larger scale...
3) hmmmm


Sorry to be stirring the pot up so early, but I'm intensely curious to know if I'm the only one who sees this.

I think a lot of that comes off on how it’s posted. I’ll just ignore the request feeling if they get the response they wanted, it was through and act of charity and if they don’t then that’s the way it’s supposed to be. I’m normally a pretty generous person, but wont help out because many of the request are expectant of someone just to do it for them, or that they claim it’s of utmost importance, yet can’t be bothered enough to pay the minimal fee.

A guitar player just starting out needs a guitar, a good one or, a bad one depending on the budget and commitment. But does he beg on the street for it? If they feel strong enough about it, eventually they will get one. For most of us music is felt as a necessity, if it’s blatantly viewed as a trivial luxury, where a perceived immense potential opportunity isn’t worth a few bucks. I feel it just trivializes everyone here in their serious music endeavors.

There are damned few full-time musos, here. The ones that ARE, have made enough contacts throughout their careers that they haven't the need to beg for others to carry them to a new job. The working, full-time muso is the only person that NEEDS to work with others in music. The rest of us simply WANT to.

The ones that come in here begging to meet ppl by getting you to make their contacts for them are users. They WANT to meet ppl, but don't want to put forth the necessary effort to find them on their own.

I certainly wouldn't want to waste my time trying to work with someone who won't put forth the effort to make our band the best it could be.

These are the type of ppl that are always looking for ways to beat the system, & it invariably ends up being at the cost of someone else. For some of them, it's like a game, to see how far they can get along on the coat-tails of others. For others, it's just a way of life - getting by with the absolute least effort. Neither person is worth anyone's time in any endeavor.

Let's face it -

#1 - there are innumerable free sites out there, so why come in here begging?

#2 - there are much better ways to find ppl to work with, IN PERSON, but these ppl aren't going that route, either, as far as I can see.

#3 - when there's something you really want, you go for it with everything you have. These ppl do not, preferring to beg others to give everything THEY have, to make the beggar's life better. This helps no one, & completely saps all the worth out of any accomplishment. Once the hookup becomes worthless, so does the entire relationship. These ppl will always try to find new ways to get around the system, to use others to the maximum, for their own comfort.

#4 - the ppl who created this site have found a way to make $. It is their right to make that $, & they've put forth effort to do so. These users are using the service, but stealing the fee that BM requires for that service.

The user has zero respect for the rights of others. The user has zero respect for the property of others. The user has zero respect for the efforts of others. The user is not in any way a contributer. He's simply a user, a sponge, & not worth the slightest effort or 'charity' that anyone has to give.

yeah I hear ya bro..

in all honesty, I shoudlnta poasted at all.

There was precious little that is redeeming, or positive in my point(s).

No no no! I have seen that my reaction to these ppl seems to bother you, & I'm more than happy to explain myself.

I like to help others. I just don't like being used by others, & there's a huge difference!

I will help anyone who needs help, Rich, if I can. If I can't, I'll try to direct them to someone who CAN help.

The ones that just sit on their butts & expect others to do things for them offend me, though, & have invariably, throughout my life, shown themselves to be a huge detriment to my life. I wouldn't want to pass that type of person onto others with my efforts.

There is a big difference between helping someone get along in life, & helping someone to live a less-productive one.

I have a caring heart, whether or not it appears that way to some ppl, & I don't like to cause problems in the lives of others by introducing elements that will leech their resources. There's just way too much of that out there.

Remember the old adage, Rich:

"Give a man a fish, & he can eat for one day. TEACH a man to fish, & he can eat for a lifetime."

I'm more than willing to help ppl to learn ways to make thier way in life, but I will NOT do it for them, at my own expense.

Philby, I agree with you. Personally, we get a whole lot for a little here. Plus, you could easily help someone and never see or hear from them again. They don't call, they don't take you out to dinner ... "wham bam thank-you mam" doesn't work here.

philbymon wrote:"Give a man a fish, & he can eat for one day. TEACH a man to fish, & he can eat for a lifetime."

Yes! I've always loved that saying and I live true to it everyday. And just as you Phil, I do honestly get a sense of fulfillment from helping people out, but when it comes at a great expense to me or those around me, then...no thanks. Thanks for bringing that up!!!

Rich, what you've done with those Haitian children is one of the most selfless, wonderful things that I've seen, recently. To give needed help is a fabulous thing, & I really admire you for it.

But when you apply those same tactics to the con men, the users & takers out there, all you do is make it possible for them to hurt more ppl than they already have. That, I won't do or condone.

It isn't always easy to tell the difference between the needy & the scum, & whenever possible, I tend to take the safer route, until someone proves their intentions to me in some way. I would really hate to help someone hurt someone else, ya know?

When the situation is as obvious as it is with the Haitian ppl, yeah, help as much as you can. But the beggars in here? Not as long as there are alternatives for them to use, like doing their own legwork, paying their own piddly fee, or making their own calls. There is never a reason to contact anyone for anyone in here. It is never a necessary thing to do, for anyone's well-being.

Man I could write an assay on this but I won’t bore you, helping others in need is a good thing in the right context, as in the case of BM the guy asking for help is at the same time cheating a system designed to provide that very service and his doing it on their web site that isn’t a cool thing to do, to make an analogy I wouldn’t go into a restaurant with my own food and ask for a table on which to eat on while asking the waiter to help by bringing me a glass of water because the food made me thirsty.

Applied to a larger scale, it could look like this - should the USA give a few billion in aid to China, because we have a Grand Canyon & they don't? I say let 'em dig their own. (Perhaps they should give us aid to build our own Great Wall, to keep out the illegals! heh heh heh)

Should I buy my neighbor a flat-screen tv, even if he may be doing better than I, just because I have one & he doesn't? Ain't gonna happen.

There is nothing that BM provides that is necessary to life & limb. We aren't talking needs here. but wants. Those who don't want hard enough to put forth any personal effort, don't want it enough to get it.

'Nuff sed.

When you stir the pot it does tend to burn a little better.

OOPS wrong web site .... sorry.

points[s] taken lads...
I am officially sorry I even started that one..

what in the name of idiocy was I thinking...

If you believe in something and you have a big enough set to say it don't back down until you have been proved so wrong that you no longer believe in it. Even at that if you still believe it is true don't let a liar back you down.

This thread has just proved we have become so civilized that a person with resolve will cave to the general consensus. Meanwhile others with no concern of the God given rights of freemen will only use this as a way to conquer.

Stand Up for what you believe, EVEN IF YOU ARE WRONG,,, YOU MAY BE RIGHT!