Musician Forum - Band Discussion Board - BandMix

Well, folks, I've been slamming my way through this new CD project, when suddenly it occurs to me: WHY?

For years I have pressured myself, blaming myself for every band failure, every missed gig. I've pushed myself to become better, musically, in stage presence and in the business end. Still, I find myself in the same situation over and over: scrambling to find musicians of ANY talent level, only to be disappointed when I can't get results. And this is where I find myself now-hurrying to finish a recording project with only one guy to support me on it (and he's a hardcore strummer. Period.), and the vain hopes of magically putting together an awesome band to perform this material.

I've realized a few truths.

*Nobody is dying to hear my new stuff.
*I don't have any gigs lined up.
*I don't have a band.
*I live in a musician poor area (lots of 'em, yes, but talent-not so much), and have no intention of moving away any time soon.

And so, I ask myself: Why am I straining myself financially and psychologically to do this? Why do I continue to beat myself up over failures that, for the most part, really aren't my fault (I can't make people better musicians or be more dedicated).

So I've stopped.

I've already taken a couple of weeks off from the project, and right from the beginning, I felt a weight lift from my shoulders.

I'm not quitting music. I'm just accepting that nearly twenty years of failure needs to be put away. I could have moved to a larger area. I could have dedicated myself a bit more...but I didn't.
As I speak, I have ads up for new bands. This time, I'm not holding anyone's hands (figuratively, of course). This time, I'm kicking everyone off my coat tails. This time, when some half ass calls me to join his or her half ass band, I'm going to laugh at them and hang up. Why? Because I can. I no longer feel like I have to try to make something out of nothing.

Anyway, I'm ranting. Just wanted to share my stress (or lack therof) with y'all.

It's your dream no ??

Never give up, and never freakin give in !!

OK
I had to come back.
In one of those moods ya know.

I hear all these experienced musicians bemoaning such.
And frankly from a mans life experience perspective I can relate.

Then I think.

WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU BITCHING ABOUT ??

I'm a half assed guitarist for an amateur band and I love every second of it.

You can walk on stage with your axe and perform with just about anyone. Do you have any idea what that would mean to someone like me ??

Joseph
You have a talent millions of people can only dream about.
It wasn't given to you. You cant go out and buy it.

YOU EARNED IT !!

Wake up and smell the roses brother !!

Wise words from the Texan!

Hey - look into o/l collaboration. File for your copyrights first, then send me a few files. Who knows...I could take 'em into my drummer's studio & play around for a bit...there's lots of ppl here you can try that stuff with. Jo.

Don't give up cuz you can't & you know it.

You don't have to be totally hands on. You have your membership, so frikken use it!

Just for the record, you both voted that Iwas nuts!

I appreciate the input, guys. I'm probably just whining.

I'm worn down by going to practices with bands and playing the same 5 songs over and over because the other guys don't have enough dedication to actually learn anything.

Case in point (and one that's been eating at me): My one guy (my brother in law...I put out my first CD five years ago. It had eight songs on it. He's been "with me" since the beginning (he says). At an average of 7.5 MONTHS PER SONG, he's managed to learn...1/2 of one song.

I'd rather have him tell me to go f*ck myself than to pretend to be willing to help.

Sans, I would never knock what you do. You have passion and dedication and that beats the hell out of experience any day of the week.

Phil, I may just look into the o/l collab...It's better than wasting my time, for sure.

Thanks guys.

Just thought it was time for a little tough love Joseph.

Try to grasp music tightly and will run through your fingers back to the earth.
Like water.

Instead, calmly but persitently try to direct it where you wish it to go.

You will find out that throughh letting go, you will have great power.

Ah grasshopper, snatch the plectrum from my hand.

You are now ready to leave the temple and ROCK DA HOUSE !!

joseph6 wrote:Well, folks, I've been slamming my way through this new CD project, when suddenly it occurs to me: WHY?

For years I have pressured myself, blaming myself for every band failure, every missed gig. I've pushed myself to become better, musically, in stage presence and in the business end. Still, I find myself in the same situation over and over: scrambling to find musicians of ANY talent level, only to be disappointed when I can't get results. And this is where I find myself now-hurrying to finish a recording project with only one guy to support me on it (and he's a hardcore strummer. Period.), and the vain hopes of magically putting together an awesome band to perform this material.

I've realized a few truths.

*Nobody is dying to hear my new stuff.
*I don't have any gigs lined up.
*I don't have a band.
*I live in a musician poor area (lots of 'em, yes, but talent-not so much), and have no intention of moving away any time soon.

And so, I ask myself: Why am I straining myself financially and psychologically to do this? Why do I continue to beat myself up over failures that, for the most part, really aren't my fault (I can't make people better musicians or be more dedicated).

So I've stopped.

I've already taken a couple of weeks off from the project, and right from the beginning, I felt a weight lift from my shoulders.

I'm not quitting music. I'm just accepting that nearly twenty years of failure needs to be put away. I could have moved to a larger area. I could have dedicated myself a bit more...but I didn't.
As I speak, I have ads up for new bands. This time, I'm not holding anyone's hands (figuratively, of course). This time, I'm kicking everyone off my coat tails. This time, when some half ass calls me to join his or her half ass band, I'm going to laugh at them and hang up. Why? Because I can. I no longer feel like I have to try to make something out of nothing.

Anyway, I'm ranting. Just wanted to share my stress (or lack therof) with y'all.

Ditto all of that!!!, just not quite ready yet myself, there's always an issue, sometimes it's mine, but even when i think F**K IT! i'll just join a band rather than form one again, the bands i like don't call back, and the ones i don't wont leave me alone! Not like i haven't got a at least a couple of talents to offer either, i've played bass, drums, guitar/vocals and been a lead vocalist in bands so i have options too, but nowt. Sometimes, it feels so sh**ty, i ACTUALLY start to think, maybe i'm just not as good as i think i am!!!! And that's just outrageous!!! ha ha!

I know what you mean, Iain. It's been years ago, but at one point, I played bass in one band, rythym guitar in a second and keys in a third (at the same time). I know what I am capable of doing (I really don't mean to come off as arrogant, but I don't think there's anything wrong with being confident in your own skills). It seems like, nowadays, when I do find new people to play with, they are always at that beginner level-and expecting me to follow them.
That is (at least partially) what this post is about...I'm not going to torture myself with those people anymore, and if that means I don't perform live, then so be it. The down side is that I need to perform live to promote the music I'm recording.
Anyway, I think GtZip nailed it...I've been squeezing the sh*t out of the music (and my own brain in the process). It's time to loosen the grip a little.

Lain you are that good. But you should still stay in Britain because you have no f@cking right to get involved in AMERICAN politics. Keep your Views of America to yourself.

I should leave this alone, but it WAS my post, so I'm gonna say it...leave the F*cking politics out of it. There's plenty of other posts on this site about that bullsh*t. It's irritating enough that I can barely find a musical post on here anymore, but you feel you need to hijack actual music posts now just to express some personal sentiment against someone who disagrees with you? Think before you type, dipsh*t.

Same to you too.

It must be the water in WEST VIRGINIA.javascript:emoticon(':lol:')

Tou'che.