This is a MUSIC forum. Irrelevant or disrespectful posts/topics will be removed by Admin. Please report any forum spam or inappropriate posts HERE.

All users can post to this forum on general music topics.

Moderators: bandmixmod1, jimmy990, spikedace

#103146 by philbymon
Wed Mar 10, 2010 3:33 pm
A cowboy, who just moved to Wyoming from Texas , walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona , the other is in Colorado . When we all left our home in Texas , we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."

The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.

"Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains, "It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking."

"Hasn't affected my brothers though."

#103148 by Slacker G
Wed Mar 10, 2010 4:30 pm
:lol: :lol: :lol:

#103151 by ColorsFade
Wed Mar 10, 2010 4:31 pm
LOL... Okay, that was awesome Phil. Props to you man. Great joke.

#103154 by Robin1
Wed Mar 10, 2010 5:13 pm
:lol: Good one!

#103160 by J-HALEY
Wed Mar 10, 2010 5:36 pm
Yep he is a TRUE TEXAN! What can I say we like a cold Bear!
YEE HAW! :lol: :lol:

#103226 by gbheil
Thu Mar 11, 2010 12:01 am
:lol: :lol:


Lutherans in general love beer.

And a good joke !

#103263 by fisherman bob
Thu Mar 11, 2010 3:33 am
That WAS a really good joke. Kudos. Did you make that one up? I've made up some really stupid fishing jokes. I think I may have put one or two on the forum.

#103301 by Cretindilettante
Thu Mar 11, 2010 9:17 am
10/10, I would laugh again.

#103414 by RGMixProject
Fri Mar 12, 2010 12:35 pm
A SENSE OF FRESHNESS:


A new supermarket opened in Dallas .
It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of freshly mown hay.

In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks with onions.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread and cookies.








I don't buy toilet paper there any more.

#103444 by gtZip
Fri Mar 12, 2010 9:06 pm
J-HALEY wrote:Yep he is a TRUE TEXAN! What can I say we like a cold Bear!
YEE HAW! :lol: :lol:


You like cold Bears?
I didnt even know they had bears in Texas.

#103445 by J-HALEY
Fri Mar 12, 2010 9:14 pm
:lol: That is the way some of us Texans pronounce beer! I was wondering when someone would catch that. Used in a sentence it would go something like. What that boywa needs is an ice cold bear that'll fix em LMAO!

#103459 by gbheil
Fri Mar 12, 2010 11:01 pm
I understood every wurd tha boyh sayd.

#103471 by J-HALEY
Sat Mar 13, 2010 1:48 am
:lol: :lol:

#103507 by philbymon
Sat Mar 13, 2010 2:41 pm
An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask
his advice on reviving her husband's libido.

'What about trying
Viagra?' asked the doctor.

'Not a chance', she said. 'He won't even
take an aspirin.'

'Not a problem,' replied the doctor. 'Give him an
'Irish Viagra'.. It's when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He
won't even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know
how things went..'

It wasn't a week later when she called the doctor,
who directly inquired as to her progress.

The poor dear exclaimed, 'Oh,
faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T'was horrid! Just terrible,
doctor!'

'Really? What happened?' asked the doctor.

'Well, I did
as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost
immediate. He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye and with his pants
a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm; he sent me, cups and
tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there
passionately on the tabletop! T'was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute
nightmare!'

'Why so terrible?' asked the doctor, 'Do you mean the sex
your husband provided wasn't good?'

'Freakin' jaysus, 'twas the best
sex I've had in 25 years! But sure as I'm sittin' here, I'll never be able to
show me face in Starbucks again.

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests