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This is John Wilder jw123 on bandmix. Last monday my 88yr old grandfather suffered a stroke. My family was told that if he recovered he would probably never walk or talk again. He left a living will that stated he didnt want to be on lifesupport so Tuesday afternoon my father and his brother had it all turned off. He was moved to the Hospice floor of Baptist East in Memphis and 10 minutes after midnite he passed away. New Years was his and my deceased grandmothers 68th wedding anniversary.

For those that dont know him google him. He was in the senate in state legislature for 44 years and served as TNs LT Governor for 36 years. He dedicated his life to public service. His name was John S Wilder Sr.

Christmas Eve he was in really good spirits. He liked to tell the family, "When I die dont be sad be glad, cause I will be back with my baby, Marcelle". So I guess he was ready.

I guess I share this cause over the years he and I had some issues between us. Over the last year we sat many times and straightened things out between us. My conscience is clear as far as my relationship with him. My only regret at his death is that Christmas Eve I didnt get a picture of him, my father, myself and my son. Sr, Jr, III and IV. We have pictures over the years and as recently as a few monthes ago. I just assumed I would get another chance. But that is rather small, compared to losing someone while you are on bad terms. I guess my morale here is if you have someone that you are estranged from particulary a family member, I would suggest that you get yourself clear with them cause you just never know when you will get that call and they may be gone for good.

Everyone have a Great Day

Sorry to hear that John, but glad you were able to reconcile. As I think you know I tried, but wasn't able to do that, my father went to his grave still hating me. He refused to try and get along...and refused to talk about it. I'm glad it didn't turn out that way for you, it's not fun to have nothing but uncomfortable memories.

John,

I am so sorry to hear this, and yet, I am sooooooo happy that you were able to resolve your differences recently and find peace together. I KNOW how it feels to leave unresolved things, with people, that sadly, something tragic happens, and that opportunity is never available again.

The picture would have been nice, but the burden you COULD have bore, for the rest of your life, would have been nearly unbearable. God gave you both a chance to be ready for this, and have love rule your memories, instead of whatever conflicts there were.

You know many of us care about you personally here, and I know everyone's thoughts and prayers are with your family.

May 2010 be a rich and rewarding year for you and your family. A new beginning, filled with new hopes and dreams that you will see realized.

Take care brother, and thanks for trusting us enough to share your heart!

.

Just to drive your warning to us home a little further...


When my mom and I were not getting along, I told her that I didn't want her calling me any longer, and that "Even if my grandmother calls me, I'm not going to be talking to you, so don't bother putting her up to it!"

Well, weeks later, my aunt called me, and my grandmother had broken her hip and so she was living with my aunt at the time, and my aunt told me "Craig, your grandmother wants to speak to you..."

I cut her off and said "My mother put you both up to this, and I told my mom I would not be bullied about it, so... I'm not going to speak to her, ok? Goodbye!"

I hung the phone up.

Needless to say, days later, my grandmother, whom I loved more than anyone in my family, passed away.

I was devastated.

I have had to live with that mistake for decades now.

The last opportunity I had to speak to my dear grandmother, I threw away.

It will burden my heart as long as I take breath.

Yes people... make ammends.

Cause you may have the rest of your life to have to deal with the heartbreak of NOT doing so!

Forget the stupid sh*t, the anger, the hurt feelings.

Rise above it and find love again!

.

Sorry to hear that JW. I do know how you feel having lost a lot of close people in the last 3 years.

My sincerest condolences.

It is always sad to hear the loss of a life.

I am for a lack of appropriate words John.
You seem to be at peace with his passing.
He seemed to be at peace with his passing.
I'll bet Mrs Marcelle was glad to have him back.
May your pain fade and memories remain joyful.

That's a good story, JW. I'm glad you guys worked it out.

Wish me & my dad coulda done something like that, but I guess it wasn't in the cards...

All of us need to realize that nothing is better than life. We might have our differences but those differences aren't worth severing a relationsip. That is like amputating your arm because of a hang nail.Death will take anyone at anytime and could care less if you need to mend any fences or not.

John, I am so sorry for the loss of your grandfather. My sincere condolances to you and your family.I just lost my aunt who also suffered a stroke in October. All of you guys with similar stories that did or didn't turn out so well remember tomorrow is not promised to anyone and I have such a difficult time getting my husband to appreciate that with his own family.

Peace to you guys
Mary

Warmest feelings to you my friend. Like Phil I liked the story. I am sorry you lost him. But It really feels like everybody was ready.

Black57 wrote:All of us need to realize that nothing is better than life. We might have our differences but those differences aren't worth severing a relationsip. That is like amputating your arm because of a hang nail.Death will take anyone at anytime and could care less if you need to mend any fences or not.

How true everything you just said is!

Black57 wrote:I just lost my aunt who also suffered a stroke in October.

Are you back from your "gig you weren't looking forward to" - trip, or was that next week?

I'm asking, because I had a strange feeling come to me, that something noteworthy was going to happen with you and someone else who was also there... someone you either didn't know very well, or hadn't seen in awhile, and that you were going to share it with us when you got back.

I know... it's weird.

But did anything like that happen?

You are in a room, not too large, with lots of windows and I "think" sheer drapes on the windows, the kind you see through, and someone older, heads right for you with both hands reaching out to you, and you receive them warmly, and take their hands, and they tell you something meaningful or important that moves your heart in a stong way.

Anything?

Please don't have me committed!

.

Sorry about your loss John. Sounds like your grandpa was prepared, and that's a lot better than most people.

Craig, I have not yet done that gig yet. That will happen Friday. I will be accompanied by a pianist who I have not seen in a long time. I am looking forward to playing with him...he is my favorite accompanist. He can play anything. But , as I said the funeral has not taken place but I am anxious to see what happens now. That being said, Craig you are creeping me out, man

I will report back on what happens though.

Don't be creeped out Mary.

LOL

It's a good thing. Unexpected, but good.

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Ecchh, that sucks JW. Sorry to hear that.