Musician Forum - Band Discussion Board - BandMix

The band I play in is an awesome band, but there are the attitudes that are there.... they manifest only when attention is givin to them. Everything seems to fall apart as a group when this happens on stage.
How is it best handled without breaking up a group.. or is it set in stone personallity profile that cannot be broken.
We do not drink alchohol while playing out, no drugs. We just love to play. We are just a IMO above average bar band looking to step up a little, but someone in the band already has us pegged as "Better than the crowd" we are trying to please.
The Bass player and I are so tight when it comes to "reading" each others motions on stage. The Lead singer follows.... The guitarist seems to wander off in his own world forgetting we are onstage. When he solo's..... man the guy is good... he just loses all touch and seems to think we should know what he is improvising. He will give me.. the drummer.. a look, which I presume is the end of the solo to progress into the song, and he decides that it will be another 2 to 4 measures longer.
I have been told to dump the guy, but the hard work involved with a new member is to stressful. We have many county fair gigs this summer of 2007, and other large chicago gigs pending.
Our music is by no means easy to learn. Pat Travers, Joey Bonamassa, Rush, Santana, Deep Purple. All the "B" side stuff you dont hear anyone else play. We typically like to perform a concert versus a ....lets get em on the dance floor.... type show.
We are all talented musicians that would like the advice of others on how to tame a beast that has gotten a little out of hand. We would like to address the issue as a group or individually.. which ever is deemed best.
The personallity we are dealing with is an Italian,"I always have a better story, interrupt you in the middle of yours" type person.

ARE WE DOOMED??????
I hope not, and so does everyone else.

ADVICE IS NEEDED HERE!!!!!!

Yep, you're doomed. LOL! Sorry to say, I've seen his kind before. Does this guy see this as his project, with you as his backup band? If so, reining him in may be a futile effort. It's been my experience that sitting him down & talking to him will fall on deaf ears. If not, you may be able to strongarm him by just forcing him to follow the rest of the band. I mean, if the others have moved back into the song, he really has no choice but to follow. Of course, that will probably tick him off, but if he feels the band is worth his while he'll deal with it.

I'm Probably one of the least experianced musicans on the site so take the rest of this with a grain of salt...

It sounds like you generaly like having this guy in the band good gutarist who likes doing the same kind of shows you do..appearantly you work pretty well together to get these county fair shows.Hold things together,be patient,and work out the trouble in practice .....Just let him know you and some of the band are having trouble coming back into the song from a solo and work it out in a way that isn't too obvious to the people watching the show. Just don't make it about about attitudes or egos when you're talkin about it maybee somthing like .... "me and the bass player are having a tough time jumping back into the song on the right measere let's work on going in&out of the solos so the music flows smooth"
or since he's probably somwhat experianced to be that good ask him to help you guys figure this out.

There may be a thousand better ways to say it and I would recomend your own words instead of a hillbilly truck driver's.

First, the "I'm in the band" syndrome is far too common and tbh it might not be able to be overcome, but try some tactful hints...start going to places where other bands and musicians hang out...some people need a reality check and when they meet another ego they get angry, a tactful lesson can be taught this way.

I'm puzzled by the rest of your post though...you and the bass player are so close you can read each other, but there's something wrong with him wanting to share that feeling? I am a big Blackmore fan, I have concert dvds spanning from 73 to 93 of Deep Purple and Rainbow. Blackmore "communicates" with the band when he's ready for his solo to end, stretching out a good groove is very common and gives the audience a feeling of a unique show, which often is created by the audiences energy level...tis a good thing. Fwiw, I could read his expressions after two songs.

But first you complain about his drifting off and not be connected, then when he does want to communicate you shun it? I wonder what the real problem is....him? You? Your bond with the bass player? Does his ego carry over to the band members too? Does he looks down on you? (that one I can understand) I think you want to blame him for being him when in fact it's how he makes you feel...which is not his problem, but yours and it won't go away...you guys just may not be on the same page and it might not work...but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with him, or you...time to look a little deeper and find the true route of the problem so you can make sure it doesn't repeat itself over and over...