General Music Chat

if one feels like it, sure!

Are pine nuts ok?

there is a whole new category of musician out there now. People like me who just do it for kicks. You can't or shouldn't apply the same level of critique to amatures like me that would be beneficial to someone persueing it as a career.

I agree with you, to a point.

I tried to differentiate between those that play for fun only, and those that play looking towards a career. And I also pointed out that you should only tell someone your opinion of their music (assuming it is not very good) if it is solicited. But if they ask. Sorry bro. I think you should be honest. If you exaggerate the truth in order to make them feel good, and they believe they are better than they are, and get deluded that they are ready for a career in music, like, today, instead of realizing what is still required... that just sets them up for a harder fall later. The other problem is, when everyone stretches the truth for them, they end up believing something false, and it is like they are the only one out of the loop about their own music, when everyone else tells the truth about them, but only behind their backs.

I've never been one of those people that lied about someone's new hairstyle just to make them feel good, even though it looked terrible on them. It's like letting someone walk around with a booger on their nose all day, because you're afraid to say "Hey, you got something... no... right there. Ok, it's gone now."

I never got the people, that thought they were being friends, by saying whatever they think the other person "wants" to hear. To me, real friends tell you the truth, whether you like it or not."

That said, there certainly are "nicer" ways to let someone down...

You didn't like the new recipee your friend made you, and she asks how you liked it... "Well, it's not my taste, to be honest.... but those mashed potatoes kicked ass, can I get some more of those?"

So, she's a little let down, what's the alternative? Maybe it really sucked, but you said it was great, and now your lying ass has her making that stuff for every single one of her friends, and you too, whenever you come over. LOL

Honesty really is the best policy.

Yeah, I agree. Honesty is good.
But, so is tactfulness.
One can get the point across without being abusive.
Many of us already understand that; some of us do not.
Many people feel that common courtesy is a weakness . . .
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For example:
Let's say somone posts a song, and they ask you how you like it.
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OK, You listen to it. And the tempo is off, and the rhythm is poor, and the guitar work is amateurish, and you don't even like the style . . .
. . .
OK, my reply might be: 'Well, the tone wasn't too bad.' Or. 'it's just about the right length . . .'
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Hey, man, if someone asks you how you like their song, and you say, "The TONE was good," or "It had good balance," they know you didn't like it, and they'll really think about what it is about the song you didn't like. And they'll do better next time, too . . .
You've accomplished your objective, you've been a good guy, and you can even have a silent laugh.
Key word: 'slient.'
But if you just say, "It sucked," maybe they'll listen to you, and maybe they won't. But they WILL definitely think you're a jerk.
And, also, several OTHER people don't like you, either . . . but they probably won't say anything to you about it . . .
As a matter of fact: they probably won't say anything to you, period . . .
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Hell, if I want to know if someone likes my song, and they tell me something like "the balance between the left & right channel was just right," then, hey, I KNOW they hated it.
But, you know what? I still like the guy, and I'll talk to him/her . . .
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I guess it boils down to having the ability to criticize others without also trying to make them 'lose face . . . '

Another words, give them soft soap version and lie a little to stroke them a little.

bullshit. Truth is better. When I hear a person giving me the soft soap, I know it for what it is. And when you do that, it tells me that I can't ask you for truth, as you aren't capable of giving it straight.

Now it's unfortunate that she bailed. But her stuff was worse than bad and you know it. You want to cry about it, ok that's your right.

But if I get critiqued about anything, just tell me the truth, not some watered down version of what you think would be face saving. Some need to be hand held like a child and some can take it straight. I always CONSIDER THE SOURCE, when getting a critique. And the very best have skin of iron, that's what it takes. If you are a cry baby, chances are you will fall out at some point.

Try the truth, they say it sets you free. Older people like to camoflage it, as it causes heart attacks. I say, BRING ON THE PAIN, personally. Others are a case by case methodology.

I try to not put myself in a position to be asked if i honestly don't care for their music. In a live situation, i'll just politely leave if i can; if i'm at a venue i make it a point to not be in the front row so i stand less of a chance at being asked...now if i really do like someones playing and music i will make it a point of getting closer to talk to them.

I certianly wouldn't yell "you suck" to the house band at a biker bar.

lol No point in being suicidal, Francis.

C.S.
You said, " . . . bullshit. Truth is better."
So, why are you asking for other people's opinions, then?
If someone thinks different than you, then are you just going to shout them down? And try to attack their credibility?
And why attack 'older people?'
But - don't bother . . . I'm don't have the patience for a typing argument.
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Faec - to face, things would be a LOT different . . .
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I'm removing myself from this conversation. You may have the last word . . .

You know I wrote this response like 5x now. ( as in written and rewritten 5 times for this specific message, in this specific window. not 5x in the entire thread, you buffoon))

I want to hear unadulterated truth out of you all, if you have to sugar coat it, save it.

Shout them down? How does one shout on the internet, caps? Did I use too many big words for you?

Not an attack on older people. I do not know how to refute that.

face to face? You'd be in world of hurt, jr.

You know I am starting to realize that you might not be the most controlled people, RhythmMan. And you probably think the same about me. I wasn't saying anything bad about older folk. You are reading into it. When you assume, you make an ass out of you + me.

Otherwise all you have is your limited vernacular and short sighted behaviors. I am perfectly willing to debate anything, but don't go down that road if you do not want the asphalt that comes with it, you hear?

PS: You misspelled FACE. If you shake when you type, delete and rewrite. It helps the overall content of what one writes, especially if you aren't used to writing coherently.

C.S., I've read alot of your threads, On how you posses so much exstensive experience, As a musician, Moderator, Psycology, etc.. And I have to agree with you, You have replied 5x so far, And +, On most all other post as well. As such an expert, You. "Want to hear (The) unadulterated truth from all at this forum". If we have to sugar coat it, 'Save It'? And No..., I dont blieve that you have used 'Too many big words', On any of your post'. In my opinion, (As not to sugar coat it). You lack the ability, And should consider, Gaining more knowledge on. Dealing with other people, On forums, Let alone bcoming a mature musician, etc. [quote]: "Not an attack on older people". (Just everyone in general, period). Face to Face My Friend? A Bitch Slap! Is all it would take, To wake you up youngster. You are one, Of the only three ass's, Whos threads & posts I've read at this forum so far. I will totally skip your last statement right before your PS. Your (PS) remark is very obvious, For all to see. So, Feel free to correct me in any way you see fit. I am sure everyone just cant wait to hear your response. You should really consider becoming a Moderator for, BandMix....'Cheers.

evenin lads..
not 100% sure who we're all talking about, but I do know that a person here did ask, most inquisitively for feedback, as this person felt he/she has what it takes to be a big star etc

The stuff was really bad, as far as I'm concerned: especially since the person claimed to have been compared to "sounding like so & so pro singer"

If the person had come off with "well, I'm totally new & I hope I improve, so here's what I have so far"

I dunno..I found that by being totally honest, I ended up having to bail on the threads before I totally insulted the person, cause he/she just kept re-posting & it sounded...not so good.

oh well..
Rich

So, Feel free to correct me in any way you see fit.

I can smell this one comin'...


I like this WhiteRaven already. :thumbsup:

face to face? You'd be in world of hurt, jr.

I think by "face to face", he means that people are more considerate in person, and that, on the "faceless" boards of the internet, it is easy to posture and be ridiculously cruel and aggressive. In fact, if that is his point, then you may be a case study, proving it's accuracy.

Is it necessary?

Most people on here are pretty cool and usually generous in their tone and words. It's not necessary to trash people like that. Often, as I have observed, alot of your venom comes from poor judgement on your part, based on miscommunication.

Take a breath bro. My apologies to reincarnationists, but truthfully, you get one life. One shot. Don't f**k it up with stupid sh*t. I promise you... When experience kicks in, you will regret the time wasted, realizing how quickly it passes you by....unless of course, you are a total dipshit, and I don't want to believe that, I see redeeming qualities from you from time to time. You have had good things to offer. Those are the endearing things. Maximize those, be a better person as a result, and feel better about yourself for doing so.

You're an angry person. You've been wronged. I get it. It's not necessary to take it out on the rest of the world though. All that does it create more pissed off people in the world. Trust me, I had an uncontrollable anger as a young adult. I've put people in hospitals because of it, I've put my fist through a solid marble table before, breaking it into 4 pieces, and not feeling the pain right away, because of anger. As generous and good of a person I was in every other aspect of life, my anger just destroyed all the good my heart really wanted to accomplish in life. When it finally destroyed my first marriage, breaking the heart of a good and beautiful person, it put me in the gutter emotionally.

I had a best friend at the time, a guy who would go into hell with me if I asked him to. I told him "Why man? Why did she leave?" He looked me in the face and said "I know exactly why. You were an asshole."

Coming from a guy who otherwise admired me very much, I just lowered my head and sobbed like a damn baby. He had never said anything to me like that before. But he was a real friend, and I knew it was true. I had always excused my anger lapses, by thinking more of all the good I did in life otherwise, being the guy who would take the shirt off his back for anyone who needed it. But in that moment, I had to face myself, with the truth, that I wasn't as good as I thought I was.

But I also resolved something else. That with work, and a more honest assessment of myself daily, maybe I could become the person I once believed I was. I've been working on it ever since. I'm a work in progress, just as we all are. Just as you are. Make your heart and soul your primary work in life brother. More than a career, more than music, more than anything else. It begins with an honest assessment of yourself. That's the hardest part. But believe me, life is better, your relationships are better, your future is better, this one life you get, is better.... when you do.

If you want to debate something, that's great. If you want to make veiled threats from behind a computer, no good. I may have misunderstood what old yeller said, now I just don't care what he said.

I may not be the most PC person you know, but I tell it like it is.
What I say here is what I say in person. Why would you behave any differently? If you would, then you are a POSEUR. It's very simple, you do not have to talk to me and I will take make sure not to reply to any of you that feel personally set upon.

Whiteraven I don't really care what you think, feel free not to read what I write, jr. I sense it wouldn't be the first time you stuck your head in the sand. PS: Do they say CHEERS in Virginia?

Craig, if you can't say it in a shorter manner, save it. You aren't writing a book. Furthermore, that is merely your opinion, try not to act like it came down from on high. What was that crap about reincarnation>? Do you know the term VERBOSE>? I have to say that was the closest thing to a 12 step transcript I ever saw. Glad you could testify.

You have anymore bullshit that needs airing? Franny, you want to throw the leg one more time before this thread is cooked?

Step up, I am not far. And I reply in a timely manner. I think Rich got the gist of this, but why should we settle when we can have a good olde fashioned lynch mob style bitch session?