Planetguy wrote:and the worst...the biggest tell to run from? every band that i played w that had someone's name as the band name...
...The Joe Blow Band.....those were always the WORST. in my exp that's always proven to be living proof that someone thought the band was about THEM. and it proved to be true for every band i played in, or was hired to fill in with along those lines. a guaranfuckinteed recipe for disaster right there. (in MY exp).
Ditto--and precisely why I avoid 'dedicated' singers. Most of the time, that's a euphemism for 'someone trying to live out their fantasy at the expense of (often serious) musicians'--and who have little (or no) actual talent. They usually don't own a thing other than an old K-Pro mic and maybe a tambourine or bongos (to legitimize calling themselves 'musicians'?), but they expect you to have the very best in equipment. The ones who really are good (there are some, obviously) think it's a privilege for us to back them (or more accurately, to work for them--for little or no pay), that we were put on earth to attend to their every need. They're far worse than sax players.
Sorry 'bout your luck, Dayne, but like GuitarMike and P-guy--both of whom were trying to reveal the cold light of day--I had my doubts. But you already knew that.
C'est la vie, as they say...
At this stage of my life, I avoid 'totalitarian' bands. I'm too old to be ordered around like a lackey just for the so-called thrill of playing the piano on stage (and heavin' around my hefty rig, haulin' it here and there, load in-load out, etc.). When I was much younger, I was lucky enough to always be in bands where the leader was someone I already knew and got along with well enough, and the bands were already gigging on a regular basis. It was always presented to me as 'well, you already know what we do, so if you're on board w/ it, cool...' I was a sideman and could live w/ that, maybe still could under the right circumstances. But going all in w/ a total stranger who apparently thinks I'm desperate and/or stupid enough to do whatever I'm told--not gonna happen. They always claim you'll be makin' all this money, but as Dayne's experience has shown, more often it's a lot of empty promises. Not how I'm gonna fritter away my advanced years...
I might fall in w/ a band that has a clear direction that appeals to me (i.e., R&B, funk, jazz-oriented, etc.) and have no problem putting in the time in rehearsal to get it down. Not much chance of that around these parts. A while back, I agreed to play in a band doing all originals that were...ok, I guess. I only agreed because all but one of them were going to work w/ me on a jazz-oriented thing. But a couple of weeks later, everyone had begged out of the jazz thing, so... I was born at night, but not last night.
I would play in a band w/ friends where there's a clear leader; friends always seem to know how to handle that sort of thing. And friends have similar likes and are willing to work together. Think of your own experience w/ "bosses"; some you really wanna do your best for, others you wanna kill via heinous and public torture. They always say a boss should never be a friend, but I don't buy that. I've worked for friends before and it always turned out well--we were always still friends after-the-fact. Maybe that's because they know me and know how to get the best from me. And I can accept it when they tell me, 'that ain't workin'...'
But I see things differently--I'm not all 'bout the money, and can live quite comfortably w/o ever doing another gig in my life. I gotta love what I'm doing and have a kinship w/ the folks I'm doing it with. So while bands do generally need someone to take the lead, it has the feel of a democracy. Everyone has to do their part--and be willing to give up some things--for the greater good. Alas, that's such a rare thing to find...
