General Music Chat

An atheist was getting the crap shot out of him in a foxhole. His last words were pass some ammo and lets show these bastards about GOD.

Well that is exactly what is going on in America here today.

This is a ridiculous post!!!!!
Must come from a college educated person. Taught by a community of anal pore professors following the money worse than any major corporation.

Just for the record... have fun.

If God Had Voice Mail

Thank you for calling heaven.

I am sorry, all of our angels and saints are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in the order it was received. Please stay on the line.

If you would like to speak to:

God, press 1.

Jesus, press 2.

The Holy Spirit, press 3.

If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm while you are holding, press 4.

To find a loved one who has been assigned to Heaven, press 5, then enter his or her social security number followed by the pound sign. (If you get a negative response, please hang up and try area code 666.)For reservations in heaven, please enter J-O-H-N 3:16

For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of the earth, life on other planets, and where Noah's Ark is, please wait until you arrive.

If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please contact your local pastor.

Dane

That reminds of the Twilight zone episode where a swarthy character tells this feller he can't take his ole hound dog into heaven with him.

"Then this ain't heaven - and you're deceiver!"

If I got to 'heaven' and found it had voicemail - I'd know I was in the wrong place!"

Talbot

From Earth - which sadly, has voicemail, email, im, facebook and twitter. But please don't text me. I can't bear that.