General Music Chat

I have attempted to contact several GR musicians, which I now believe are just posers, on Bandmix to see if they're interested in doing some home recording on my latest project. Nobody except one person has even replied. It's no big deal if you're not interested, but at least have the decency and common courtesy to reply and tell me you're not interested. OY!

This is an old sad story and seems to be a problem with people online in general not just Bandmix. If your gonna keep looking for musicians you will have to grow a thicker skin bro. Good luck with your projects.

There may be quite a few reasons why they may not respond. If somebody contacts me they better not be vague in their description of what they are looking for. They better have a link to samples for me to hear in the contact info to see if that's what I'm looking for. If I'm looking for a situation, I'm exact in describing what I'm looking for and I provide a link to my stuff. If they don't do the same I don't bother to respond period! Some people think if you respond you are some how committing. Been there and done that crap. If you don't do the above I feel no need to play e-mail tag just to tell you I'm not interested.

If you contact 12 "internet" musicians, then consider yourself ahead of the game, if you get to actually play any kind of music with one of them.
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Personally, I gave up on all the fakers and posers and liars and excuse-makers . . . and poor excuses of musicians and poor excuses for human beings (for lack of common decency) . . .
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(My apologies to anyone who might have actually given me a legitimate excuse, by the way. But, your one honest excuse was buried under 250 lying excuses . . .)
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I used to go by the rule "3 strikes, and you're out."
Then I changed it to "2 strikes, and you're out."
Then I changed that to - "start with an excuse, and I'm gone, pal. Don't call me, and I won't call you."
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Then I realized I was spending more time typing than playing . . . how about you guys?
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I've wasted countless hours on 'internet musicians' who talk big, or don't answer. I stopped searching; you have more luck face to face . . .

There's so many fakers around . . . .
Most of those people have never played out.
And most of them can't make it through 6 songs, from start to finish . . .
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When talking with 'internet' musicians about playing together, maybe you should first ask them how many songs they can play from start to finish . . .
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Or ask them if they spend more time typing, or more time playing . . .
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If you get no answer - then you've GOT your answer, eh?
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And, if they have no recorded music, well, they better give me a phone call and play their guitar over the telephone, or something . . .
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Hell, everybody has a computer which can record music.
Every damned 'internet musician' has the means to record - hell, they are comunicating to you with their computer.
They can get the software for free, and plug in a $5 patch cord, for Pete's sake . . . .

regarding "Musicians who talk the talk."
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Here's a case in point:
Last year I saw an ad on the internet, for a nearby musician, I won't name his instrument . . . but it sounded like he was good.
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His ad said something like:
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"Where are all the good musicians? Everyone sucks! I can blow every body away. Looking for someone with the brass who thinks he's good enough to to play with me. That is, if you can keep up with me."
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And, I'm not really paraphasing: his ad was actually written that way, using those terms . . . pretty high opinion of himself.
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He went on to say that he could play any style of music with no problems, but he preferred . . . and then he listed the exact same stuff I was looking to do.
Then the his ad reminded me that he was 'better than almost everyone," and said he was only willing to work with the best.
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Well, ok, if anything, he was right up front, eh.
'Mr. Personality' . . . .
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Anyway: he played the instrument I was looking for, he listed all the right styles of music, and . . . and I have the brass.
So I gave him a call.
He talked a lot, but he wasn't too much of a jerk on the phone.
He mentioned a song that he played, where nobody could do justice to it.
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I knew the song, and I said "hold on a moment, let me put you on speakerphone, and go get my guitar."
Over the phone I played the first verse, on through to the chorus, then stopped, picked up the phone, and said, "How's that?"
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It was quiet for a bit.
Then he said, "Woo; you really know your stuff, man. Jesus, - you don't want to play with me, man, you're looking for aREAL musician . . . ."
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And I was thinking, "uh, umm, yeah, ok, but you said . . . ."
Those were his exact words, and I quote, "you don't want to play with me, man, you're looking for aREAL musician."
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Well, YEAH. That's why I answered tha effing ad . . . he claimed HE was a 'real' musician . . .
At least his attitude evaporated . . .
But - dammit! I didn't care!! I wanted to play!
. . . . shee it.
Everybody thinks they're a killer . . . .

I must have been one lucky sob. Everyone whom responded and said they wanted to give it a go showed up to play at least once. Only the world class drummer who said he'd "be back and help us out" evaporated like a fart in a hurricane. The little lady drummer who couldent keep up the pace for the full set had bigger balls than he did. and a lot more heart.

This is why I'm happy to play all parts, sing all parts, turn all knobs, set all levels. I am happy being a one man show. Sorry for your trouble Seattle. Good luck!

Thank you all for your advice and stories. I'm not totally let down. I feel my description of what I am looking for was enough to elicit a response.

In a world of jaded musicians and posers you really need to put out more information without sounding like a used car salesman.
It can be a difficult balance.

There's so many fakers around . . . .
Most of those people have never played out.

Nearly every band I've ever been in never made it to a stage. Granted, I only recently got back into "the scene". But my gig experience is non-existent.

Does that make me a faker?

No, not at all.
You don't have to play out to be a musician.
But - it's nice to play for folks, and it can be nice to get feedback from people who don't know you . . .
If you've played in a few bands, then you're a musician.

No, not at all.
You don't have to play out to be a musician.
But - it's nice to play for folks, and it can be nice to get feedback from people who don't know you . . .
If you've played in a few bands, then you're a musician.

Cool, I was just ribbin you a little, you seem more frustrated than me.

I still haven't found a new band, and out of about 20 contacts through here, I've only had 2 actual get-togethers, one of which was a full-time working band that was slightly out of my league, and the other was a person who had poor functional skill and no rhythm or timing.

I have a BIG audition tomorrow, wish me luck. This one is a Craigslist hookup, but looks very promising.

If you've played in a few bands, then you're a musician.

You're a musician if you play a musical instrument. On stage, in the bathroom with no one hearing you. Doesn't matter. A musician plays a musical instrument.

If you play live for other people, you are a performer, in addition to being a musician or singer or whatever.

KramerGuy, you said, ". . . you seem more frustrated than me . . ."
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Yeah, I guess . . . I've been looking for qualified musicians and singers for several years . . . .
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But, I think I actually passed 'frustrated' a few years ago, and reached 'disgusted.' I've had my fill of people who talk big, then don't (or can't) do what they say . . .
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Ahhh . . . that's ok. I'm used to it.
I still play one or two dozen hours a week, depending upon the pain, and mushiness of my fingertips . . .
When I start playing, my fingertips are like hard bone. After an hour of quick chord-changes and sliding (on an acoustic guitar), I get grooves, Another hour, pieces start coming off, and it starts getting soft. After 3-4 hours, the now-soft fingertips screw up my rhythm, and it hurts a little too much to enjoy . . ..
But - that's ok, it comes with the territory . . .
As long as I'm playing, I'm ok . . .
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I don't really expect to find anyone with that kind of dedication.
And, it's ok . . .
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But, it sure makes it rough to find people of equivelant experience, when one has been playing longer than most guitarists have even been breathing . . .

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I learned that I was apparently looking for the kind of musician that just isn't available in my area.
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The one and only way I'm going to be working with others is to:
1) Extend my driving radius by another 35 miles, or.
2) Lower my standards.
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> 1) Gas is too expensive, and also, I will NOT drive longer than the actual practice session.
> 2) Lower my standards? No fricking way! It took me years to get my standards up to where they are (so far). And they're STILL not high enough for me!
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I've had several musicians tell me that what I play is too difficult . . .
That I need to play something that takes less experience, ask me to learn how to play simpler stuff. . .
. . . telling me to lower my standards . . .
They tell me I know too many chords to work with them . . .
I 'know too much?' Geez, I see it from a different point of view . . .
But - whatever . . . that's my problem.
And, the more I learn, the harder it'll become to find people.
And I'm driving myself to learn new techniques all the time . . .
We all have our problems, eh?
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I guess I'm just getting to (gotten to) the point where I don't care any more. I'm a realist.
But, like I said: as long as I'm playing (and recording), - I guess I'm happy . . .
Yeah, I'm just a fricking bowl of good cheer . . .
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but - anyway: GOOD LUCK w/ tomorrow.

RhythmMan: This may sound corny but hear me out.
Go to Chinatown to a Chinese apothacary. Or A TCM DR. Or a "real" traditional Chinese Kung fu school and get you some Jow.
Lots of diferent spellings and pronunciation but Dit Da Jow is a herbal bruse liniment in rice liquer usually. An application to your fingers two or three times daily and allow to dry. Apply before and after playing. You may have to modify your sessions for a short time as you should not apply Jow to open wounds. An Iron palm liniment would work as well maybe better but unfortunatly some of the ingrediants to iron palm liniment are no longer available due to import law. It helps toughne the tissues while allowing it to remain pliabe.
Also be aware lot of scisters selling brown water.