General Music Chat

Hey people, I had some sudden inspiration the other day and decided to just let it out on paper, recorded some chords on my acoustic guitar, and just now finished the lyrics and recorded the song. (Or at least part of it, stupid youtube f'd up and cut off about half of it. I'll re-do it tonight.)

Here's the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8uv5YIKqck

Here are the lyrics oh yeah, the song is called Stupid Girl:

Babe do you remember
when you first walked out that door
you said you had to go somewhere
and that I shouldn't care

You stupid girl
how dare you take control
of all of my affection
then just leave me all alone
without a single explanation
beyond I've got to go
you stupid girl
why do I have to love you so

Now it's been 8 months later
I'm still waiting here at home
yeah the girls may come and go
but you've still got my soul

You stupid girl
you thought I'd wait here all alone
well I'm married to the liquor
that's sitting on the counter
oh the blissful memories
it helps me drown
you stupid girl
why do I still love you so

I was flipping through the channels
when a song came on my phone
that I hadn't heard in such a long time
I forgot how it goes

Oh you stupid girl
why did I have to hear the news
I found out why you had to leave me
and it brought me to my knees
you stupid girl
how could you do this to me

now here I'm kneeling by your side
thinking God don't let my angel die
so many things I want to say
as her light begins to fade

Oh you stupid girl
how could you just give up on me
don't you leave me on my own
out in this crazy world
I need you here to hold

I loved that stupid girl
I miss that stupid girl

That lovely lovely girl . . .



Yeah, it's a sad/love song. Anyways, I would love some critiquing.

Okay, the intro is a bit long, imho.

The song is nice, for what it is. I like the lyric but they're bound to put some feminist types off...LOL

Your voice needs to tighten up. You're trying too hard to be pretty & quiet cuzza the way you're recording, I'm sure. You need to find a better way, cuz it's detracting from your abilities as your voice wanders. Set up something where you can let that power out. I can hear it in there, begging for release. At these levels you come off as nasal & wimpy, & I know that ain't what you're reaching for.

Also, the way you do it, now, sitting in front of the cam, just ain't cutting it. I noticed on the last sample, someone called you a nerd (although they also said nice job). It does kinda look like a nerdy guy at his 'puter, goofing around. Can you back away from the cam, & stand up? This would let you breathe better, which would give you much better control, & allow some of that power to come through. (This may also cut back on some of the nervousness, as you distance yourself from the cam.)

This song doesn't allow for the showing off of your range, either. You need to do something that showcases your real abilities, & you haven't quite found it, yet. I look forward to hearing more...

Keep at it.

I have to agree about the intro...way too long.

You should record it all with the guitar in hand, standing up...or sitting on something other than right in front of the computer.....use a digital camera with video and see if a friend will help you out...It gives us a different perspective of the singer/song writer.

You have a great voice....don't be too timid to use it. feel your song...

I'm not offended by the lyrics....but I'm not a femenist either. lol

One other thing I noticed from the small clip...the tone of the song was pretty much the same; there should be a distict break in between the verses, chorus, and bridge. That brings the song to life.

Great job for your virgin project.....

Thanks for the tips peeps. As for how I sang the song, the vocals were really limited to what I could play on the guitar, lol. I'm just really beginning to earnestly learn how to play rhythm guitar and don't even know half of the basic chords yet. Just had to write the song cause otherwise it would have slipped from my mind like they always do. Thanks for the tips though, you guys are great.

Also, when I just let my voice out it makes the mic buzz really bad (no clue how to adjust it when recording straight on the computer) so I tend to hold back. Pretty sure I've developed some bad habits from that.