#208691 by Slacker G
Tue Mar 12, 2013 2:32 am
Tue Mar 12, 2013 2:32 am
I found this on my hard drive the other day. It was posted on the Sturgis Rally and Races BB years ago by one of the bikers.
Your Daily Moment of Zen
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of
me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the
hell alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and
a leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your
neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.
5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be
promoted.
6. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
9. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a
warning to others.
10. It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities
without your help.
11. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of
car payments
12. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their
shoes.
13. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
14. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to
fish, and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day.
15. If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was
probably worth it.
16. Don't squat with your spurs on.
17. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
18. If you drink, don't park; accidents cause people
19. Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
20. Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.
21. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes
from bad judgment.
22. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and
put it back in your pocket.
23. Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
24. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
25. Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side & a dark side,
and it holds the universe together.
26. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
27. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is
moving.
28. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need
it.
29. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
30. We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
Your Daily Moment of Zen
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of
me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the
hell alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and
a leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your
neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.
5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be
promoted.
6. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
9. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a
warning to others.
10. It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities
without your help.
11. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of
car payments
12. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their
shoes.
13. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
14. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to
fish, and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day.
15. If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was
probably worth it.
16. Don't squat with your spurs on.
17. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
18. If you drink, don't park; accidents cause people
19. Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
20. Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.
21. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes
from bad judgment.
22. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and
put it back in your pocket.
23. Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
24. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
25. Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side & a dark side,
and it holds the universe together.
26. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
27. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is
moving.
28. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need
it.
29. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
30. We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.