Musician Forum - Band Discussion Board - BandMix

Jeff Haley's post got me to wondering...

How does your wife support your musical aspirations? OR does she hinder you at every turn?

I'm lucky to have a wife that supports me completely (mainly because my music supports her and the kids) but it wasn't always that way. She used to freak out about band groupies (which I haven't seen since the early 80s) but she got over that once I made her go with me to a few gigs. Being old and ugly has it's advantages.

That was the mid 90s and now I can't get her to go anywhere with me. She has heard all the songs before they were songs. She's heard all my stories....multiple times. And she doesn't like living in hotels. Who could blame her?

But she also doesn't have any idea where I am in the world on any given day...totally uninterested in keeping up with it. I just tried to get the family to join me in August for a western tour to Colorado, Yellowstone, Northern California, San Francisco, Yosemite...etc. They turned me down!?!

How about your wife?

very interested topic you've opened up here, ted!

and very interesting to learn about your wife's take on things.

i've been doing music fulltime since 2000. and even though i'm based out of Mid Missouri, playing in four bands and doing solo gigs keeps me busy enough that i don't have to travel more than two or three hrs to a gig.

my wife has always been super supportive of my music endeavors. she's never worried about groupies even though she's always assumed EVERY woman wants me (poor misguided gal she be!). AS IF!

she's not a fan of bluegrass but still tolerates when MERE MORTALS (bluegrass band) has band prct at our house.....and she's tolerant of my mando playing (she claims that it's not my playing but the high pitched timbre of the instrument that bugs her after a while).

she doesn't make it out to many of my gigs these days.....mostly preferring PLANET JAZZ (she's a fellow jazzcat) and though she really digs our tunes and my bandmates, she's not a big drinker and when there with friends she has to put up w their yakkety yak. so hanging out for three hrs by herself doesn't always appeal.

PLANET has an early gig on Saturday close to KC about two hrs from home. she had considered coming but the band has decided to meet up. load our equipment (drums, bass rig, FENDER Deluxe Reverb, gtr, bass, AND MY VIBES into my Sienna! We played Tues and after the gig determined we actually COULD get all that and US into the van!

so the mrs and i will meet up for dinner back in Columbia before my truckstop gig...who knows...maybe she'll come out for a set!

she's been out to the truckstop a few times and brags on how good the band is, but she's not a fan of country ...even the older classic stuff which is really the only kind of country we play. when she makes it out we tend to play more rock and roll to keep her happy!

we have a running gag.....when someone first hooks up w a musician (esp if they're younger)they're often a little starry eyed and in awe. so in appropriate situations we'll often say "ooooooh, play that note!"

Excellent Topic and responses Yod ... my wife believes in me, my Art and our "Union" i.e. marriage ... completely and utterly. I am quite fortunate in many ways and blessed as it were in many others. It took two wives previous amongst a great variety of "girlfriends" to achieve what I have today. One learns after some experiences what to look for and what to avoid ... if one retains that skill of learning. That being said , still I am indebted to them all as without them and the experiences and Love they brought me ... I would not be what I am today. I always knew what I was looking for but eventually decided upon something close until I met my lovely wife, who quite frankly is much much more than I ever wanted and this more than anything proves to make "Life" much more worthwhile and interesting than even I could have ever imagined. We have the most excellent fights and arguments at times and the most wonderful times and experiences at others. She stands beside me not behind nor in front of me. She is highly intelligent and intellectual. She has immense passion and resolve. It would be impossible now for me to ever feel truly alone again even if she vanished ... such is the deepens of our relationship, friendship and respect for one another.

I could go on but I chose to keep my response brief ... Ha Ha.

Live Well Die Well

Well, I lost my temper when they said they weren't interested in going with me in August. I miss them and, frankly, tired of being a visitor in my own house.

Used to have at least one of my sons riding with me. With all the travel to Europe & Israel over the last couple of years I haven't had time to miss that, but I planned a whole tour this summer through isolated parts of America with the family and that doesn't excite them. I have no idea why??

OK, I wouldn't have wanted to ride around in a van with my dad for a month when I was teenager either...but dang it...If I have to stay gone so they can have a house, then they're going to go with me for a month....and they're going to like it!!!

But I had to apologize to my wife for the fit I threw (days ago) when she chose the wrong answer to my question. Now she says they will go with me...



It's cool to see that you guys have supportive wives. That's awesome...hope it lasts forever.
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My wife supports my music endeavors, with caveats. No working with women (band/duo) - past experience to blame. She rarely comes to any place I'm playing - she's very introverted and not comfortable in new situations with crowds of strangers. As much time as I invest out of the house with music, I must spend equal time with her.

Supportive, but not really that into it. Says things like "if you can tell me when you're going to play your guitar loud, I can go to my parents for a half hour.". Then she was shocked that I went out and rented a studio for $250 a month. That was a great investment, but I had to give it up a year ago. I have some guys I play with, but they're not serious. I'm just dead ass tired from work and the kid takes up most of the rest of my time. Not complaining about that. It is what it is. My main problem is that our house is too small for my gear, and anything I set up will be messed with by a 4 year old. I'm finally getting to set up my stuff in the office, which was a battle, but things are getting better.
I'm in it for the long haul. Dated her since we were teenagers. The last thing I ever want my kid to say is "mom's boyfriend or stepdad".

schmedidiah wrote: I'm just dead ass tired from work and the kid takes up most of the rest of my time. Not complaining about that. It is what it is. My main problem is that our house is too small for my gear, and anything I set up will be messed with by a 4 year old.

Oh I remember those days...

Used to always get virus on my desktop from the kids playing games. My studio computer was totally messed up for about 6 or 7 years there..

I'm in it for the long haul. Dated her since we were teenagers. The last thing I ever want my kid to say is "mom's boyfriend or stepdad".

Wise words, my friend.


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Legit topic. I like it.
My wife just got a pig... My daughter just did this for Moms day. After 30 years how do you tell a wife NOOOOO?

I haven't a clue... It's far worse than politics... I thought when you got older life was supposed to SIMPLIFY.

I will say this is far more complicated than when I had pretty young things rubbing up against me and all I had to say was GO ASK MY WIFE.

NOT FUNNY!... Even worse, the pig is very endearing... SHOOT!