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VIC the COWBOY.

PostPosted: Fri Apr 24, 2015 11:33 pm
by ANGELSSHOTGUN
VIC the Cowboy

A cowboy named Vic was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new 2015 BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

Vic looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Apple i phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany ...

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Apple ipad® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Galaxy S5® and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Vic.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Vic says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Vic.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know anything about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep.”

“Now give me back my dog.”

:D

Re: VIC the COWBOY.

PostPosted: Fri Apr 24, 2015 11:37 pm
by Paleopete
That was good for a laugh...

Re: VIC the COWBOY.

PostPosted: Sat Apr 25, 2015 2:35 am
by schmedidiah
:lol:

Re: VIC the COWBOY.

PostPosted: Tue Apr 28, 2015 2:43 am
by Vampier
Glen ... excellent Post even though the descriptive of the "Congressman" was tragically true. When one thinks about how many of this Political Filth have been sucking on the public funded feeding trough for so long .... and contrasts the absolute horrific mess these idiots are responsible for creating and their traitorous and cowardly actions such as not even bothering to read what they vote for ... well it all points to the rampant stupidity of the masses who "vote" for them over and over and believe their lies over and over.