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Hey guys (and gals) I put up a new song...well its really 2 1/2 yr.s old. but let me know what you think and see if you have a drum or guitar mix to go with it. or harmony's, mandolin harp hell I dont care, you might hit something I haven't thought of. So lemme know what ya think....

Hayden King
www.myspace.com/blunderingeye
blunderingeye@yahoo.com
blunderingeye on yahoo mess

Parts of it I liked, How bout more like "you are a whore, I was just lonely" less sappy, more aggressive

Sappy? well I'm not into the "macho rock" thing and I guess some o my material may be considered sappy by some, but I appreciate your opinion! maybe listen to it again knowing the story line a bit; over the hill rocker who's lost the appeal of being fresh to the "in crowd". he's at a hollywood party. its late, there are few women left. he see's what he calls a "hanger onner" but he's never spoken to her. he gives it a shot. turns out she's not your typical groupie. he's very taken by her. you take it from there..........

Couldn't get many lyrics on this machine, but it seems like a good thing going on there, Hayden.

I think I'd use a combination of acoustic & electric on it, though. 'Lectric power chords on the chorus, maybe, at the "Looks like I started a fire" line.

I can hear a violin in it, early on, too, kinda flowing over the acoustic's moving chords. Then the crunchy electric would surprize at the chorus. Then all drops out to the acoustic again, & so on.

Just my odd take on it at 9AM.

Kind of good. But 'flat'.
A 3 minute and 45 second song shouldn't feel long, but it kind of does.
In my opinion? Needs more dynamics. Stuff along the lines philbymon was typing.
Has great potential, but it just sounds 'flat' and 'long' to me in its current state.

I like your voice though, here and there it has a good sound (crappy recording). You got more stuff? Actually it doesnt sound dated like you think your age is.

yeah Philby has it dead on! it has electric guitar with just a lil distort and keys as well. the lead backs up the 2nd & 3rd chorus so there's no lead break. and I use stronger vocals and back up vocals. I was sick and had dead strings. notice I'm out of tune? hey when its free studio time w/an excellent engineer, you go no matter what! its just a working copy so I could hear it and finish the composition. thanks for the listen n critique guys! yeah I have 40 more new one's (last 2 years)

Hayden King wrote:Sappy? well I'm not into the "macho rock" thing and I guess some o my material may be considered sappy by some, but I appreciate your opinion! maybe listen to it again knowing the story line a bit; over the hill rocker who's lost the appeal of being fresh to the "in crowd". he's at a hollywood party. its late, there are few women left. he see's what he calls a "hanger onner" but he's never spoken to her. he gives it a shot. turns out she's not your typical groupie. he's very taken by her. you take it from there..........

From that description, I'd name the song "Beer Goggles"

The song is ok.
But it seems to need more variety somewhere . . .
. . . more background vocals, or another instrument , or drums or something that changes . . . .
I'd either shorten the song, or put more 'stuff' into it . . .
It's a good start for the song, though.

hey rythym man, look up 2 my last response

I like it Hayden. Despite the need for tweeks. Everything I / we have done has been in the last two years or less. When you get it the way you want it I'd like to hear it again.