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New Song. Crit. Please.

PostPosted: Sat Jun 07, 2008 9:03 pm
by gbheil
Just loaded a first practice cut of a new song we wrote on Thursday night.
Lyrics by yours truly. Vocals and Arrangement, Ray Jackson, Drums, Steve Tant: Bass Eric Davis. I was just kinda dickin around with the lead. not sure just how I want it to sound just yet.
Give a listen and tell me what you think.

PostPosted: Sat Jun 07, 2008 9:05 pm
by gbheil
OOPS :oops: "ARMEGEDON" is the new cut.

PostPosted: Sat Jun 07, 2008 9:28 pm
by Andragon
Listening... cool song.. I dunno if you were going for a "Santana" tone, but if you do, it would sound pretty cool. (I'm biased, I love Santana's work :P )
The vocalist, sometimes, eats the words, but he's good :)
I enjoyed it altogether :D

PostPosted: Sat Jun 07, 2008 10:23 pm
by gbheil
Thanks: Ray was reading my handwriting off of a physicians progress note (orange paper) and a copy of an E mail I'd sent him; trying to piece together the verses and chorus at the same time. He was lucky he did that well :D It was the first time we actually played the whole cut together.

PostPosted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 12:13 am
by The Hunter
How did you record it?

PostPosted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 12:30 am
by blair_rock
Got all the makings of a good song. I've got a couple of more peices I'll be posting soon. Still learning my new software. If anyone is familiar with sequel give me a holler. I enjoyed it Sans. Got a rock song in my head just have to figure out the music for it since I do more of the acoustic thing. start of chourus is "It's time to put down our guns and pick up our swords, it's time to stand up, stand up and shout for the Lord." Stand up and shout! Stand up and Shout!
God bless, and keep up the good work.
Blair

PostPosted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 2:02 am
by gbheil
Recording was with an Zoom H4 Handy Recorder. The left and right outputs on my Carvin RX1200 are driven by the monitor channels. Direct into the Zoom. Did not use the Auto Gain feature this time. Simply cut a piece out of a 2 1/2 hr practice with Audacity. Had to convert it to wav to export and back to mp3 and shrink it to fit on the Bandmix format. I feel it gave me a more balanced recording this time. Now to find a way to filter out the monitor that is picked up thru Rays mic. Maybe a noise gate.

PostPosted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 12:23 pm
by philbymon
The tone of the lead cuts through me like a serrated knife. It could use a bit of mellowing, perhaps?

The rhythm should probably have been played on an acoustic. I'd also like it better if it was a touch faster.

Not too bad for a start, sans.

PostPosted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 2:05 pm
by jw123
George,

I think this is a great effort.

From a songwriting standpoint, I think its too long and gets a little repetitve on the end. A lot of times when I write a song I may write 10 minutes worth of music and ussually wind up cutting it down to 4-5 minutes. Theres nothing wrong with longer songs I just think that if its going to be longer it needs to have more variations to keep a listener involved. The song doesnt seem to have what I call a middle 8 section. It
seems to just follow verse, chorus,verse,chorus,solo,verse, chorus out. A middle 8 would be a little pickup or change section maybe between the chorus leading into the solo or leading back to the vocals.

As a guitarist the rythym guitar has too much mids for my taste, I would hollow out the mids, turn the treble down slightly and maybe turn up a little amp reverb. Your lead playing is getting a lot better, but if I was playing the song on the first verse and chorus I would play the lead fill licks an octave lower, kind of mesh them with the tone of the vocals more. Then the chorus before your solo section I would go to the octave range you are playing in. I think I would cut the solo section in half. I did notice you went a little flat in the middle for a couple of barrs. Tune your ears so you can adjust on the fly quickly when that happens. I know you just recorded this live so you couldnt go back and fix it. I kinda agree with Philby, the guitar tone is a little bitey sounding to me. On my amp I would turn the master up and cut the gain and treble some, but thats just my taste, go with your gut on tone cause its your party. After the solo I would probably go back down an octave on the lead fills and then go back up an octave toward the end. Ive always thought songs should be like having sex, some kissing, foreplay, climax and then a cigarette. Try to think of your songs and solos the same way. You are telling a story and you want people to hang around til the end. You do show a lot of restraint in your solo playing. Some folks I know would just bury the whole song with lead and Im proud of the way you hold back and make room for the vocals.

For a rough cut I think its great, a little tinkering here and there and you will have a great song.

I hope I wasnt too long winded. But I like what you guys are doing, just take what I said with a grain of salt.

PostPosted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 9:47 pm
by gbheil
Well salted I'd say. Yes to agree I was intending to do the rythym had my amp set up on the ol hi gain channel. Thats why my tone was as Philby said serrated :? Ray is still using the boss effects. Really clashes with my tube amp sometimes. I will work off of your advice as well on the lead. Being such a newb is a pia. Have some trouble staying in key as I migrate up or down the fretboard. :oops:
Going to keep at her though.
Thanks for the input!

PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 12:55 am
by fretwork
You got something good going.

PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 1:46 am
by gbheil
Thanks man we tried it again Tuesday. Damn I sucked!
After practice my ol lady said. "You guys just did not have it going on at all tonight." She was dead on. Hate that sh*t. :(