Musician Forum - Band Discussion Board - BandMix

Why is it that it's usually the girls that ruin a great group??
It's like they have labottomized their men and the guys walk around saying "Yes Dear" afraid of speaking up and led around like little puppy dogs.

It's sick!

Who the hell are they to decide where the bands going to play... and if they don't like to travel.... Well keep the beouchs at home!

I had an all original band once with my wife playin' bass, my mistress on guitar, vocals and guitar, and my girlfriend on drums. Those were good days.

That sounds VERY dangerous.

(but exciting....)

Gee...you sound bitter. Are you bitter?

Sounds like someone had a hard time getting along with someone else...do you need a hug & a cookie?

It isn't just the women breaking things up, dude...there's day jobs, kids, and an entire host of possibilities...and who is ultimately responsible for leaving a band?

Maybe you should find ppl with stronger wills....or the Village Ppl or Boy George or George Michaels ( I bet THEY wouldn't leave a band cuz of thier gf's!)...or someone with a different priority

Last couple of bands I left had nothing to do w/women...I left cuz some ppl are not worth my time, & I made no excuses about it

See? It isn't always the girls.

Irminsul wrote:That sounds VERY dangerous.

(but exciting....)

your not wrong there irminsul...i tell ya howlin you never cease to amaze me...

as for my wife...well im one of the luckest men on the planet...my wife is everthing to me...ive done the whole groupie thing to death..i was amazed how quickly it got old for me...but there ya have it...

the best thing about my wife is that she gives me total support when i need it..but she understands when im writing of just before a gig to leave me well alone(i like to leave the venue after soundcheck and walk the streets for about 15/20 mins alone,it clears my head and lets me go over the set in my head)....and she does all my artwork and photos...all of this on top of the "usual" benefits....

so yes im very lucky but ive seen musician friends torn apart trying to play and be with a woman who 9 times out of 10 doesnt want them doing what there doing...it a killer alright..

slain.

My fiance is the greatest!

She loves our music, she goes to all the practices and shows, and to top it off, she checks out all the hotties with me

Not only did my wife buy me half of my equipment and got me back into the game but she is also the bands personal manager and has been the one in charge of getting us all our gigs!

LOL is all i have to say.

okay.... here's more about me.
I am prescreening musicians in search for replacements on Drums and Guitar/keyboard for my husbands group. Let me just say .... they are amazing! and I can't disclose who they are. I am a woman. I am married to a one of the members of the group. I have seen time and time again how "some" woman ruin great musicians. It's quite a shame in how much control the girls have over the guys. I applaud the men here who have a supporting significant other. This is rare! Let me tell you something guys .... you're very lucky and hold on to her.

Look - "some" woman are all about gossip. My husbands band has never been is such disarray and IT IS the girls to blame. Yes it's the guys too. It really is their weakness that's to blame. But seeing how these girls walk all over them is sickening. They dictate to them what gigs to play and what gigs they wont. They answer the phone so my husband can't talk directly to his band mate. They have to be right in the middle of everything so they can control what's going on. They even try to control my husband. I said ..... get back B*tch!! You control your own.
Check this out.... they even guard the stage from other girls approaching their men. I call them the two GA bull dogs. One on both ends of the stage. It's quite funny to watch. Then when they go on break.... right to the car they go! The guys can't talk or look at anyone. They are freaking weak!! I hate this because we have been working hard on where we are today and these two guys don't care. But we need them right now since there are contacts signed. So....we are looking for serious musicians. Hungry musicians with no drama. The reward is really good. Weekend gigs for now but we're closing in on touring with big acts. Hopefully. We are signed but really does that matter these days.... People aren't buying cds like they use too. Record companies are going through layoffs. It's a really hard time for the music industry right now.
Am I bitter???
More disappointed in our members in that they are letting someone else dictate on how they are to lead their life. Their lost souls.

I have a man who puts his heart into it... so do I .... like Irish Anthony's girl does all the internet work, art work, posters, merch, some booking, talks to sponsors, ect... I bleed when he bleeds. So when we hire musicians who don't care, and allow their woman to interfere with the group, I think it's fair to say .... you're gonna get angry. It's just really hard finding the right musicians who want the same things you do.
Thanks for your interest in this topic.

Gee, can we start a sewing circle?

use to just set the guitar down, curse and find another distraction when people throw a wrench in the works...now I've learned to channel that energy into more intense tempo and rhythms, increase the animation in the room, drowned out the control freaks, when we take a break I run to the store, but I don't bring the beer in! the instigators leave to get the beer and we pick up our instuments...logistics ?

Holy gender change Mrs BellSouth!

I sure nuff had you pegged as another male chauvinist rocker!

I'm not sure what to make of your situation, but I will say this,

A good marriage is far more important then any band. (I have been a Beatle fan since 64 but I have always admired Sir Paul's relationship to Linda)

Not to throw the "baby out with the bath water", but maybe You should re-evaluate your own situation. If hubby's band is causing so much conflict in your life, perhaps its time to undertake another project.

No band is THAT great.

Remember my favorite song lyric phrase (sung by The Incredible String Band back in the 60's),
"Music..is so much less..then what you are."
Howlin'

P.S.
Cin and I have been married for 38 years. She is a great wife ,mother and grandmother, a good bass player, and my best friend.

If not for my ol lady's love and support (dollars and emotionally) I'd just be SOL. Everyone's got different relationships but I could not deal with having some one try to change me or bleed the joy from what I am / do.
We went through years of hard times when our kids were little because she felt like a kung fu widow, man I'd train constantly. Now were older it,s like we are just one person a lot of the time.

Yes it's the guys too. It really is their weakness that's to blame

In my opinion, that has always been the culprit of the 'girl ruining the band' scenario. It always starts with the 'guy' making the poor choice in the first place, but in the end, it's his weakness to stand up for himself and what he believes in that is the ultimate nail in the coffin.

Sure, I get mad at the girl who causes whatever problem (and there are a number of problems that can be caused), but in the end, I place far more blame on the band-member that allowed her to do it.

I'm also pretty sure that female band members have the same set of problem from their so's.