United States

I wrote this about a year ago and posted it as an acoustic song.
I drug it up and redid it as electric... also increased the bpm's a few to give a little more hop to it.
Any critiques on the mix etc... have at it.
Call me Nero... I will continue to fiddle as the world burns!

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/15367559/Monica.wav

Monica

Was a day like any other day in the summer they just roll along
I heard somebody moved in... up the block so I went by to see who's around
Said hey what's your name girl you wanna hang out
When Monica came out on the porch
Well her smile really lit a torch in me... yes indeed

So we rode around all over the town with the top down just lookin to escape from the heat
One day we found ourselves all alone in the shade beneath an old oak tree
She was the first one... I wasn't hers but then it never mattered to me
She told me to believe her she said she'd never leave our true love it will always be
But her father didn't care for me... said stay away from her
Monica she cried on the porch when her Father he just slammed the door on me... yes indeed

Even though it was so long ago you know those memories still feel like yesterday
We were two kids riding on a bike finding out just what it's like to feel the summer slip away
Now Monica I just want to say
Girl you were right when you told me to believe
and you said that you'd never leave me
Yes indeed

I don't quite remember the acoustic version ...

On the mix - the harmonica needs to come up in the mix when it's playing solo (at the start, between verses). On the song itself, I think you need a 'hook', could be a bridge/refrain or ending.

"Monica come down off the porch..."

I don't quite remember the acoustic version ...

On the mix - the harmonica needs to come up in the mix when it's playing solo (at the start, between verses). On the song itself, I think you need a 'hook', could be a bridge/refrain or ending.

"Monica come down off the porch..."

F all the stuff that MIKE just said here.

Those are some really great lyrics. They are very modern from the point that the prosody has to be handled properly. Sorry if I missed that one before. You put that up as a song... EXCELLENT!!!!!

Sorry Jahva, Don't mean to bug you but that is actually a very cool song. Listened to it a bunch of times. It's just one of those cool songs.

Jahva, I don't even think I like you... For things you posted in the past, that I can no longer remember. No matter, when credit is due.

That is one of the most skillfully constructed songs I have heard up here. the lyrics are excellent. The story line is great. The picture you paint is terrific.

Thats a stunning song.

AND no that doesn't mean we are going to take long hot showers together 'till the wee hours of the morning... But...

Thanks for sharing that.

Not sure why you are replying 3 times to a Jahva post - after your constantly spewing garbage here drove him away.

Not sure why you are replying 3 times to a Jahva post - after your constantly spewing garbage here drove him away.

You are not sure of anything. You are the only one constantly spewing garbage. Look at the ADVICE you gave him. That's a great song and all the advice you could dig up out of your other portal will never give him an honest evaluation.

You have a little problem you think is big. That comment you made to Scott was DIGUSTING!!!!