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I'm wanting to know how most people are doing this. Are we taking progressions that are put together that may sound like something and writing/adding your lyrics to,tweaking the music a little to make it all work? Or,taking your lyrics/story etc. and writing music to that. Let me know what works best for most of you.

There are several in depth threads on this subject that you can research via the search function above.

For myself the melody and lyrical skeleton of a song comes to me via inspiration ( just pops in my head, sometimes even in my sleep )
I write out as much as I can recall while it's still running in my mind or it's gone forever.
I have written songs out on a lumber receipt off the floor board of my Jeep at 2am.
Sometimes I can work out some chord structure and rhythm for it.
Sometimes I can just "sing it" to the band and let the chemistry take over.
In any case, the exact way it is played on any given instrument is left up to that individual artist to express.

OH geez ... I also intended to mention that the members of our band range from their late 20's to the 50's. And we have a good chemistry going IMO.
( though the old inside jokes sometimes do a fly by on the younger guys ) LOL
You of course can do as you please, but I feel you may be needlessly limiting yourself by setting age requirements.

When I/we write, it's usually just a simple on the spot guitar rhythm, from there we just all write and tweek as we go and eventually come up with a song, and about a month later after demo recordings, we tweek it again and see what sounds best and record it professionally. That's just us though, I know a lot of people like sound structure and may not play like this.

I only right songs that are wrong.

I'm at bits and bobs at the moment. Wonderful feeling really.

What I do is connect ideas that I already have. First, I'll put a song together with some of the many parts that I've recorded during practice. Then, I'll dig in my notebooks that have all the random stuff I've spontaneously written down. After that, I spend days fitting the riffs and words together. I do several rough drafts, scrap parts, put new parts and words in, and then I finally have a song...in a nutshell.

I'm strange with this. Nothing I do is organized though I've now found a concrete method of putting the various bits together.
Because I'm moody with it I let the mood write it. Could start with anything these days, even something someone said on here.

I use the same method as Chippy, always the mood of the melody. Once I figure out where the melody wants to go, then structure changes that will have to come with the additions of the other instruments.

Senient has a great point.
That’s the toughest part. Allowing outside influences and making changes to something so specifically catered to you personally. For example I’m going to want to hear a lot of synth and piano, but if the guitar, percussion, bass etc. don’t have their moment in the sun, then the music suffers. It’s just a fine line of ego between preserving what you have in mind and sharing even the coveted parts for improvement by someone else.

As a songwriter first and a novice artist second, I try to write and record things within my ability and music direction. Being that I have a strong Beatles influence, vocals and arranging above all are essential in whatever melody I come up with. Mostly guitar and perhaps a drum machine pattern is what I go by when writing.
I play guitar/bass/keyboards/vocals and program drums parts to my songs. I'm not at all a master at any one facet, but when its all put together it sounds at least creative and believable. Melody is first and the lyrics come about as I'm playing and creating drum tracks for the song. I use my influences as a dictionary of sorts...like, how did they approach that subject and make it feel new.
Groups like Let's Active, Posies are great at creating word play and making you dig deeper into the lyrics even though they seem too avant garde for general consumption. And like I said before, melody comes first, without it your wasting your breath and quite possibly good lyrics if the music aint taking you anywhere.
You can listen to my songs at myspace.com/rnrjim or soundclick.com/jimcanrock. As it is, Im still looking for that Lennon/McCartney thing, being that I sound and write just a hair between Paul and George, but would like to find that Lennon axis to balance things out. Ive had a couple nibbles from indie labels in the past, but not having a band kinda nullified that years ago.
But I still hold out for that writing and recording partner and as they say, if its good, people will find you. The songs on my sites are just good demos in my opinion. If it were up to me, I would do an Alan Parsons approach in re-recording these songs to where I think they should be.
Well..thats my story.

Beatle Jim

Method # 1:

Transcribe soundtrack to "Heavy Metal" (1980).

Put sheet music into paper shredder.

Give pile of shredded paper to cats to play with overnight.

Tape together in order found next morning.

Give new composition to bandmates to burn when they get home.

I like the cat idea.

"right" lol